The Mental Debt Struggle...

liselle

So glad the meeting went well. Hope the bed rest helps you find some quiet.

Keedie

Thanks @beanielou. They received the form 3 weeks ago and the Benefits and Work website that has lots of helpful information about the PIP process, said that reviews are taking on average 16 weeks in London. But I think due to backlogs and shortage of assessors, it can take anywhere from 6 months to 12 months. But I'm not sure if that is for new applicants or renewal or both 🤷🏾‍♀️.

The bed rest definitely helped, thank you @liselle. I still don't feel well, but I'm a lot better than I was. And I had the last session of my Dialectical Behavioural Therapy today, 24 weeks of showing up for myself on Microsoft Teams with essentially a bunch of strangers. But it has helped me more than I thought it would. I can feel myself becoming more aware of my emotional triggers and boundaries and that should hopefully get me into the right mindset to make changes to the physical and mental load that I carry by always rushing around and supporting everyone else and neglecting my own needs.

I'm also on a mission to reduce the money that I have been wasting on food, too many take away and no proper planning or nutrition isn't helping me to feel any better. I'm sitting down with my son before the weekend to work out a realistic plan of when and where to shop to fit a simple meal plan that we can repeat weekly. Then when that has been mastered, add another week. I will be teaching him how to cook certain things as well.

I also discovered lego brick meals (can't remember the correct term), which is essentially batch cooking and putting the food in silicone moulds that are portioned (souper cubes or a cheaper alternative). You can cook in the oven with them and you can also freeze items. Then when you're ready to eat the frozen meals, because you have frozen portions, you can mix and match them. My explanations don't always make sense so I've added a sample picture. I'm hoping that figuring out how to meal plan and prep and then batch cook will save me money and time and help when I feel really rundown and sh*t and need help to get off the bed to even get to the toilet.

And I forgot to say @Cherryfudge that I'm glad that I reminded you of copilot, it really is so great! It even helped me to do a study timetable to get back on track with my bookkeeping course.

Makingabobor2

Love the idea of the silicone moulds. Genius invention.

Keedie

It really is great isn't it @Makingabobor2? I just need to figure out a routine to actually make the most of it and get on top of food and the budget etc.

I've just finished my penultimate week at work, so the end is in sight and I'm super excited. And because I wasn't mentally well enough to work, I've not used the maximum personal tax allowance, so my earnings have been tax free since I returned to work. But my final pay and annual leave payment will be taxed. But the higher income has been much appreciated.

I got a text from the DWP this morning to say that they have finished my review and I will get the decision letter in 2 weeks. But I was too anxious to wait, so I checked on the government proof of benefits website and downloaded a copy of my covering letter. I've been extended on standard basis for both daily living and mobility, until June 2032. So no more reviews for another 5 years 🥳. My health has declined, and I told them everything and gave medical evidence, but they clearly didn't think it was bad enough to warrant a higher award level. It is what it is. The main thing is that I'm grateful that I didn't have to go to a face to face assessment or need to speak to them on the phone. That was causing me extreme anxiety. So I'm very relieved that I have a stay of execution in that regard.

Now that I know that my PIP is remaining in place, I can get on top of my budget and figure out my debt repayments and sticking to my budget. Getting paid the annual leave with my final pay will make a massive difference to the next few months budgets. I should be able to put some toward my sinking funds, some towards rebuilding my emergency fund and the rest into savings challenges that I am using to make lump sum debt payments.

Makingabobor2

Brilliant news that they have granted you PIP till at least 2032...that seems like a life time away.

Cherryfudge

I'm so pleased you no longer have that hanging over you, though sorry you don't have the higher amount, as that would have smoothed things over a bit. With the end of work coming up you must feel much lighter!

beanielou

Good news on the PIP.

Keedie

Oh it's definitely good news about the PIP and the duration has really helped me feel less anxious about everything. I'm not trying to sound ungrateful as I know many people get rejected even when they deserve it. I just think the frustration with the award level is based on the whole process itself. You have to make yourself incredibly vulnerable to bare your soul to strangers and give them unfiltered access to your medical records and mindset.

And it just stung a bit because completing this renewal pushed me further in a mixed bipolar episode and it took so much from me, that it felt a bit like it was all a bit extreme to be in the same position. And I'm still trying to claw my way out of that mixed episode. I made myself ill and I need to find a better way of managing stress. But this current award is for 6 years and the last one was for 5 years. So the main thing is that I don't have to think about PIP renewals for a while.

However, this renewal has taught me that I need to keep a better record of things and get on top of my clutter. A lot of the panic that sent me into a tail spin is because I couldn't find anything and I could not remember a lot of stuff about treatments since 2021 and what support I had needed. So I spiralled. Badly. But I've got a folder now that I will use to put everything in place for documents such as hospital letters, treatment plans, care plans and so forth. And keep a diary/list of all support and treatment between now and 2032. That way I won't be so frazzled. The stress wasn't necessary and was of my own making and so I need to mitigate against that. Then I just need to figure out the actual paper form as the documents will all already be sorted.

As for work, I am giddy with excitement about leaving that place. Being bored and stressed is not the way to go is it? And I need to mentally rest and get on top of my bookkeeping course as I have really dropped the ball on that one. Which is stupid, as it means so much to me and my future career and earning potential. I just remembered that I need to find £215 by mid-September 2026 to pay for the 6 month course extension. So I think my plan on distributing my annual leave pay needs to change a bit as it needs to accommodate that too.