The Mental Debt Struggle...

Cherryfudge

Sending some massive hugs @Keedie. Your son came out of both incidents in one piece and that's the most important thing. You will work the rest out and there are lots of us here to support you.

Makingabobor2

Oh my word. You have had a bad time. Glad your son wasn't hurt though.

Keedie

Yes it's been a really rough time. But it will pass. Bad times always too, as they say, "this too, shall pass". It just feels rather sh*t because we're still in it. But things will get better.

I had a think about the deliveries last night and when he gets back from his job today, I will tell him not to bother. He can't control which area he would need to go into to do a food delivery, and he'll be a sitting duck for all of the gang activity and postcode boundaries. They don't like people that they don't know going into their area/patch at any time of the day or night, and especially not on a moped.

I remembered that a few weeks ago, he was scared to go to an estate to do a PAT test and so I went with him on the bus (this was after the car was sold). When he entered the estate, he was walking ahead of me and a large group of boys were all watching him intently. And I could see that he was intimidated as he looked back at me. When they realised he was with his middle aged mum who was on crutches, they relaxed a bit. I sat outside whilst he did the job and read on my iPad and then we got the bus back. So yeah, deliveries aren't worth the risk unfortunately.

But I've had a productive morning trying to figure out my client contributions for the direct payments for this tax year. The lady said that when the DWP updates the rates at the end of this month, she will do the assessment. I can then liaise with another team that will work out when the frozen payments from the council will be reinstated. They had paid for a good few months after my carer ran off, so I'll be the only one paying into the account for the next few months I think. Or they may request a refund from the payroll company and sort it that way. I dunno, but at least the ball is rolling now.

beanielou

Baby steps 🤗

AntoMac

Keedie,

You’ve come back from real adversity before and you will get through this as well. It must be very draining for you though. The immeasurable blessing here is that your boy was unharmed ❤️

Makingabobor2

How you doing @Keedie ? x

Keedie

Hi @Makingabobor2, thank you for checking on me. I am doing much better thanks. I've just been incredibly busy. I went to The Big Budgeting Meet Up in Manchester on the weekend, and it was quite good. I met a lot of budgeters and cash stuffers that I follow on YouTube and it was incredibly daunting and overwhelming and I had to take a good few minutes to myself at times. But overall, it was a good weekend. I am paying for it now though. I don't think I can get out of my flat until Friday when I have to facilitate the bipolar support group. I'm still terrified of that responsibility as well to be honest.

But I was quite chuffed that I got paid more than I thought I would, as I was given a tax refund with my wages as I have not hit the taxable threshold so far this tax year as I didn't work for the latter end of April and the majority of May. So I'm hoping that the pay I get on Thursday for the day that I worked last week means that I do not pay tax on that either.

I need to contact the agency, so that I can find out how the annual leave is worked out for my final pay. I'm assuming that when I leave in a few weeks time, it is automatically paid in my final salary and I don't have to physically take it as leave. It should be around £600 of accumulated leave and that can be split amongst my debts and emergency fund. I've gotta figure a few things out budget wise as I won't be working soon, so I'm not sure how aggressively I should be saving/paying debt… 🤷🏾‍♀️.

Humdinger1

Darling @Keedie, sending love to you and your son. Shocked to hear it all but you're so right about avoiding danger. It should not be necessary for him to be exposed to this to make money. You'll come through it; you're smart and resilient. Love Humdinger xx

AntoMac

That’s a largely good news update Keedie. Glad you had a good weekend in Manchester and more pay than you expected.

With your worries about facilitating the bipolar group, what’s your main concern? Is it saying the ‘wrong’ thing? You’re an open and honest person and you’re with a group of people who can, in different ways, relate to how complex the condition is. It seems a shame that doing such a brave and worthwhile thing by facilitating the group causes you such worry. Can you express this to your group? Invite an open and honest discussion and get them onside and more understanding of how difficult this is for you. The support you are giving should be 2 way, and maybe some of the other group members could step forward and play more of a part.

Newstartforme

Hi Keedie , delighted to hear you sounding a bit more positive and so pleased you got away at the weekend . Please try not to worry about Friday, if you are half as eloquent in speaking as you are at writing the group are lucky to have you . Be sure to let us know how it went . Best wishes to you and your lovely boy