The Mental Debt Struggle...

daisy_1571

Thank you antomac

Dxx

Makingabobor2

Hope you are ok @Keedie

Keedie

Sorry I went AWOL. Too much has happened in a short space of time and I'm back in debt aside from what I owe my mum for the bookkeeping course 😔.

The cliff notes version; my son had a moped accident, overpriced insurance renewal and a vehicle breakdown costing £2,950. Lack of income and poor planning on my part meant that it all came undone. Debt has spiralled out of control and lots of income decisions needs to be addressed.

The longer version is as follows…

Accident: My son had an accident and crashed into the back of a truck. He's perfectly fine, as he was at a traffic light and the traffic stopped for the red light and he wasn't paying attention as he was checking the location for his next job on his phone. Lesson learned. But that cost £80 for a tow to the mechanic and £620 repairs as the front of the bike was cracked and bits fell off, and the indicator wasn't working and some wires were visible. So that's £700.

Insurance: A week later his insurance was due, he didn't have enough and so I gave him £1,500 from my savings and borrowed a bit to cover it. It was £1750ish for the year, which had come down from £2,200 last year. I needed him to work to repay the repairs with the accident and he can't ride around with no insurance. He gets stopped enough times as it is due to being a young black man on a moped in London. Even when the police can see he has his uniform on, job sheets and PAT machine with him. He still gets harassed. The monthly insurance was around £220 a month, which is nearly £1k higher, and he works sporadically based on job availability and that wouldn't work when he also needs to save for driving lessons and pay for his subscriptions. And as I knew I was going to be leaving the agency role, I wouldn't have anything spare to help him. So I figured, we'll do it upfront and he'll repay it back into my savings. Well considering what happened next, that was a bit shortsighted and optimistic of an outcome…

Breakdown: Last week, he was on his second day back on the job after his bike was fixed. Then suddenly bike suddenly shut down on the A13 with cars whizzing by at 50mph. Luckily he was in the right hand lane. I shudder to think what would have happened to him if he had been in the middle lane. He called me in tears and was so scared, said a massive truck went past his bike with less an 30cm ruler's width. He had to move away from his bike and was holding onto the railing on the central reservation. He was so scared and panicking he couldn't remember any of the details for the breakdown cover, and so I had to calm him down, find the number online, talk him through what he had to do. All whilst hearing cars hurtling past him. He said he thought he was going to die, and to be honest, so did I. But the breakdown people told him to call emergency services (I hadn't thought of that either). And the police blocked the dual carriageway and he pushed his bike safely across the road and waited for the recovery truck.

Turns out his engine was devoid of oil, hence it shut down and he could smell burning. He'd basically done too much mileage without an oil change. Neither of us knew that was needed. I met him at the garage. The engine was gone even after they tested it with new oil. So he needed a new engine, that cost £750.

Mental Conclusion: I'm just so over it all. £2,950 in two weeks is crazy work. And I had a bad mixed bipolar episode (hypomanic - elevated mood, agitation, racing thoughts, thought I was grand in my comprehension of the world if I do say so myself), whilst also swinging on the pendulum of depression. Polar opposites at the same time is not fun at all. But that led to me being unable to work for a month. And as agency, no work, no income. So I'd used my emergency fund to top up the money I did have for May's budget. And then put some more towards June's budget. Then all the bike related stuff happened and things are a bit financially screwed.

My son is looking into deliveries to supplement the PAT testing as those jobs are dwindling as it does at this time of year. I went back to work today in the morning and I do another half day on Wednesday. So that's the equivalent of one day's work that I'll be paid next week towards June's budget. I've got £1,400/£2,000 so far. I think a day's wages after tax etc is around £140/£150 and the PIP is £428 and that comes on Tuesday. So £1,968/£2,000 based upon lower end wages.

Debt: A total of £4,900 overall. But £3,650 personal liability. So my debt is now £2,400/£3,000 for the bookkeeping course. And £2,500 for the moped. The repayments from my son will come in dribs and drabs, but as they come in, I'll add it to what I owe my mum to figure out the payments. We're going halves on it, but I need to make the payments ASAP and then continue to recoup it from my son. He had a week and a half of no work after the accident, and so he will only be paid for about 5 jobs this Saturday 23 May. The next payment will be 6 June, but he's getting one or two jobs a day and he started back at work today.

PIP: I finally returned my PIP form and got acknowledgement today that the form has been received. It only took me 2 months, 3 extensions and a mental breakdown to get it all done 🙄. I really wonder about myself at times. But now, I just wait and see what happens. My anxiety regarding the PIP is sky high at the moment, but I'm trying to relax (not really working to be fair, so open to any and all suggestions).

Studious Work: So, I hate my agency job and the stress makes me ill. Like really mentally unwell. So I know that I have to leave. But my financial circumstances are not great with all this extra debt. And I've dithered about with the course so much, and ignorantly assumed that a course extension was free. Well, I got a reality check when I discovered that it's £210 for a 6 month extension. Ouch 😬. So I need to get studying and I have no choice but to freelance for the next few months. I think I can (through gritted teeth??) hang about in the agency job until mid-June at the latest, doing 2 days a week. And pick up freelancing 1-2 days a week, as the agency contract is winding down. And I need to get some studying done too. It's all systems go over here innit… 🥴?

The Tax Man: I still owe £424.50 after my self assessment. I'd saved £1,200 based on self employed earnings and completely forgot about that pesky payment on account malarkey. So the total bill was £1,624.50, and I need to get that balanced cleared by 31 January 2027.

Anyways, all of that just basically amounts to me figuring out another Get Out of Debt plan (take 5 or 6 at this point). I'm annoyed with myself, but what's done is done. I'm just extremely grateful that neither my son's accident or breakdown was fatal. The rest is just money (I say that as if I have it in abundance 😂, but you know what I mean). Life is truly priceless, and so I'll figure out a plan for the finance side and keep annoying my son but giving him random hugs of gratitude 💖.

Keedie

Forgot to say thanks for checking on me @Makingabobor2 x.

liselle

Wonder if Stepchange would be able to help with a plan for you?
I volunteer at a Foodbank, and if clients have a food voucher, they can see the CAB person, who’s very helpful.

Really feel for you and your son.

Keedie

Thanks @liselle, but I don't know if Stepchange will help as all of the debt is to my mum??

I dunno how food vouchers work, but I will look into that.

liselle

Ah sorry didn’t realise that was all of your debt.

You could get a voucher from your doctor I would think.

Keedie

It's okay liselle, I didn't explain it properly so you wouldn't have known. Neither my Barclaycard of MBNA have any 0% periods for purchases, so if I had used a credit card, I would have been struggling with the debt plus interest. Owing my mum means that although it makes me feel very guilty, I don't have to navigate interest.

I just need to figure out what I'm doing with juggling the income etc for the rest of this year.

beanielou

Big hugs for you. THat all sounds absolutly horrendous.

ArtyJ931

That sounds absolutely stressful and scary - I hope you and your son are recovered. X