The Mental Debt Struggle...

liselle

Yes, so gorgeous!

Keedie

The kittens are super cute because their mum is a ragdoll and she's a very pretty cat, and their dad is a British short hair and he's handsome. If you can use those terms to describe cats. But you know what I mean.

Anyways, we are in the final countdown to contract termination. I think realistically, I will be working up to Friday. I'll be lucky to finish my work on Thursday. I should really stop being so diligent, it's not really working out in my favour. But having a bigger final salary is a bonus I suppose. I'm just incredibly tired. But I have zero plans this weekend, so I will do Death by Duvet.

I managed to squirrel away £100 into savings challenges that I will distribute amongst my sinking funds once they are complete. I also redid my budget, reduced subscriptions, shaved off a bit here and there and things are lot less stressful now, even with no salary income. I will also be able to set aside some money each month towards my debt (£25 per month). I spoke to my son about the money he owes me, and once he has got steadier jobs and income, he will start repaying a minimum of £25 a month. I need to catch up with my friend about the money she owes, as well as my sister and nephew. I can then collate everything and make lump sum payments to my mum.

Once I recover from working this job and get into a better mental headspace, I will freelance a bit alongside studying my bookkeeping. I calculated that I would need to earn between £500 a month to give me more breathing room and to make bigger repayments and put money into my sinking funds. And I'll also have some money for myself too, which would be lovely.

Catscoffeecake

I hope the discussions with friends/family goes well and you manage to arrange a repayment plan for them as it will help you plug that £500 gap for now whilst you get back into a better headspace and get your other options sorted.

AntoMac

I know you’re good at finding inspirational quotes Keedie. One I like is that you’ve already survived all of the worst days of your life (or something like that 😊) and you’ve definitely done that. You are so resilient as well as very kind and thoughtful. I bet you’re so looking forward to the end of your work contract tomorrow and some time to rest.

Those cats are just adorable.

AntoMac

By the way Keedie how good was the England game last night? What, you didn’t watch it?? But you’re a big Crystal Palace aficionado aren’t you? 😉Unlike me you even know which station to get off at for the ground!! I bet your boy was well excited by it. Hopefully he called it a night after that and didn’t stay up for the overnight games 😊

Keedie

I'm meeting my friend next week @Catscoffeecake so I'll update once we've had the conversation. I lent her the money for car repairs, but then the car wasn't salvageable as it kept breaking down, so she had to get rid of it. And due to personal issues she's not working now, so I know money is tight for her, which is why I've not pushed it. But now I'm not working either, so the conversation needs to be had 😬. Although it's kinda awkward.

And yes @AntoMac I'm really and truly over this job and working for now! I've worked late every day this week to get things wrapped up, so I'm incredibly tired, but really looking forward to just being free. I just have to wrap up some more things in the morning and then I've got to return my laptop and ID card on Monday to my Assistant Director. I debated staying an extra week to get things done without feeling pressured, but I decided against it. I'd rather do more hours this week, even though it was unpaid, and know that I'm done. I got into this mess of being around longer than I intended, by being too dilligent with my work in the first place. It's not in my nature to do a bad job, and so I wouldn't actually be able to calm my anxiety if everything was up in the air and I left a data cleansing mess behind.

Besides, I have decluttering plans and being able to chill on the balcony most of next week as the extent of my efforts, and so work doesn't factor into that at all. And I need a few days of doing absolutely nothing, as I'll be going to the library on Thursdays, as that is my sister's study day for her work qualification, and I need the academic accountability.

And no AntoMac, I've not seen a single World Cup match, but my son seems to be watching nearly all of them and he's like a cranky zombie because his sleeping pattern is all messed up 🤷🏾‍♀️.

My PIP renewal confirmation letter came yesterday and the decision outcome report was offensively short. Literally a few sentences stating that my form was reviewed, plus all the medical evidence submitted (which was a lot) and that it is acknowledged that my needs have changed, but they are not increasing my level of award. Fair enough to keeping the award the same if I've not met the threshold, but I can see that they simply kept the same scores for everything as the last time. They could at least humour me into thinking they actually read what I wrote and the medical and social care evidence provided, by acknowledging what has actually changed and why it was disregarded. As that would not change the outcome, but it would help me to understand. I definitely won't be getting myself so stressed next time if they don't even read it properly/fully 😤. My son said it sounds like it was written by AI 😂.

So I'm about to say something that will make me sound rather thick, but hear me out. I just remembered that my Help to Save account matures in February 2027. I was scrutinising my budget and seeing what I could trim and from where, and I checked the H2S account to see how much was in there, and I saw that it ends in 8 months 🥳. That will be £50 back into the budget, and a lump sum off my debt, as I will receive £3,000. That's the maximum £2,400 saved over the 4 years at £50 a month and a £600 bonus. So 8 more payments and then I can put most of that to debt clearance. I'll still set aside money every month for lump sum payments and collect on the amounts owed to me. But the H2S account will see me getting back into the black a lot quicker.

daisy_1571

will keeping saving £50 a month make much difference to the bonus ? Maybe the next 8 months worth of £50 (overall £400) would be better in your budget each month from now on ? Double check the arithmetic to be absolutely sure which makes more financial sense.

dxx

Keedie

It makes more sense to keep paying the £50 into the H2S account @daisy_1571 as the final bonus is paid based upon 50% of your payments, and your highest balance when the scheme ends. So for every £50 I save, the bonus is £25. So paying less now, means a lower bonus but also, I rarely finish things as I get lots of other ideas and chop and change things (multiple iterations of my budget and intentions is a testament to that 🤦🏾‍♀️). And so finishing it completely will really give me a sense of achievement.

And with the way my mind is right now as I'm going through this transition period with work and stuff, I know I'd fritter that money away. I need to properly establish myself with my lower budget, so that by the time the H2S account matures, I can actually use that £50 properly. If I absorbed it into my budget now, I wouldn't do anything useful with it. When it's all done, the £3,000 will make a massive difference, and I might keep the £50 in the budget to put into an ISA or something, I've no clue.

But I had another look at the HMRC app, and turns out my counting was a bit off, because I was looking at it all so tired, which doesn't bode well for my bookkeeping career 😂. There's £2,050 in there at the moment, as I've been saving it since February 2023. So I'm down to the final stretch, so it's 7 x £50 to get the maximum £2,400 and so the £350 difference is 7 payments and not 8. January 2027 is the last payment, with the money and bonus paid in February 2027. The bonus is set at £425 now, and another £175 will be added when I continue the £50 payments.

If I stop paying now, I still can't get any of the money until February 2027, and the total H2S pot is £2,425 overall (£2,050 saved + £425 bonus). So saving the extra £350 get an extra £175 bonus, and that's how the £3,000 is calculated, £2,400 saved + £600 bonus.

I'm quite proud of coin challenges with my spare change, they're adding up. I put £1 and £2 coins in a jar that I won't touch until 1 January 2027. I change the savings challenge to keep it all fresh, so I have just completed one and started another. have the first meal of the year with my family and we all bring a dish, and so I figured for this year's tin, I will get my nieces and nephews to guess how much is in there, and the one that has the closest guess will win £5. They can also help me count and bag it all up too. It's half full now. I think there's about £200 so far based on the challenges that I have done in recent months. Here's my progress. I added another £12 from this week's leftovers today.

I also save 50p and under in a mini penny challenge that saves £50.50 at a time and I've slowly been adding to that one too. I finished it for the first time today 🎉. I had £4.23 today, and that has meant round 2 has started with £1.69 already. Once Lenny (my blue cat named after my dad who taught me to save my change) is full, I will bank it and put it in my 2027 pot, which I will use to get ahead of next year's sinking funds.

So I saved £16.23 in the last week and a bit, which is nice 🤗.

Keedie

I've finally finished work 🥳!!!

I handed back my laptop and ID card yesterday and then met my mum to go and see my Granny in hospital. She's 95 and contracted pneumonia and has developed issues with heart, so I think she will be in hospital for quite a while. My mum goes to see her nearly every day, and my uncles, unties and cousins go as well, so I think my Granny gets a bit overwhelmed with the number of visitors that she has each day 😬.

My course tutors emailed me weeks ago to check on my (lack) of progress and not signing into my learning portal since February 2026. I finally bit the bullet and emailed them back and explained that I had not been very well, and I am slowly getting better and so studying had not been something I was capable of doing, but it had been weighing on my mind. I asked about the course extensions and if they applied from when they were purchased, or at the end of the original end date. The course administrator guy responded that as a reasonable adjustment, they have granted me a 3 month extension free of charge (a saving of £155). So I now have until 23 December 2026 to complete it, or purchase an extension thereafter if needed. That has taken a lot of pressure off me. It's been eating away at me that I've spent all this money on the course, owe my mum so much and I'm barely on top of what I need to do.

beanielou

Great news on the extension. Hope your Granny continues to recover.