The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

I had my interview this evening for the co-facilitator role for the bipolar support group. I was a bit taken off guard as it said it as an assessment, but I hadn't realised it was an interview until we started. So I fumbled a bit, but it was decent enough to get through. I have training tomorrow morning and then they're doing references and DBS checks. It's all starting to get a bit real now. But in a good way.

I've also received an email to confirm that my course materials will be delivered tomorrow. I'm so excited! I really do need to get some notebooks though. I'll see how the materials are structured before I buy anything though. I don't want to waste any money. 

Speaking of which, I sorted out the discrepancies in my budget, so I have a clearer idea of what I'm doing moving forward. I've paused any thoughts of holiday savings, and the car. So right now, I'm just working on The Big Bufferoo (my £1,000 emergency fund), and then I'll sort out the Attracting Abundance fund (a back up fund to maintain my budget income when my agency contract ends). I'll be topping up the sinking funds as I go along and will get started on the accumulating money to repay my mum for the course.

I worked out a flexible but fixed amount budget of £2,000 that I can adapt depending on the month and what is happening. And I have worked out a strategy for any surplus income which will all go into savings and sinking funds. For every £100 of surplus income that I can accumulate it will be split as follows:

50% (£50) ~ savings challenges (which when completed will top up my savings goals)
25% (£25) ~ The Main Attraction (which is currently The Big Bufferoo)
15% (£15) ~ Standing on Business (mainly focussing on The Gift as Christmas is approaching)
10% (£10) ~ Side Quests (mainly focussing on Munch Munch for family meals until that is funded)

For amounts in between £100, like if it's £140 or £175, then I will put the £40 or £75 into my own personal sinking funds and fun money. I kind of forgot all about myself in the pursuit of savings and bills etc. I have a hairdresser appointment next Thursday, as I'm going to get my hair permed. So if/when I have surplus income, those additional amounts will pay for things like that. Which I am looking forward to, as I really have let myself go.

The guys came back today about the wetroom (as they'd cancelled on me a few times over the last few weeks). My son was wide awake and we came to a mutual decision about the decor for the new wetroom and the toilet. We've gone for white walls with the blue border (I wasn't allowed a feature wall), and we agreed on the grey lino. I really liked the bold dark blue lino`zsxderr, but I can acknowledge that it would look super blue against all that white and the bathroom is tiny. So now, it'll be greys and whites and I'll accessorise with blue towels, soap dispenser etc, toilet brush holder, anti fatigue mats etc. So it's a compromise. My bedroom will be the only room that is all blue (with white furniture). 

I asked about the heater, especially as the toilet one is very rusty. I was told that I need to book a repair for the toilet heater to be changed. And they've kindly said they'd changed the wetroom one (although it no longer leaks), and will put in a towel rail. So I'm very happy with that 💃🏽. It won't even cost me a penny. Yay! 

AntoMac

Good to have the wet room progressing Keedie. You will so much better having a nice bathroom. Providing additional support in your bipolar group will also do wonders for your confidence. I have no doubt whatsoever that you will be perfect for that kind of role - you’ve lived it and you’re very caring and thoughtful

beanielou

Good result on the wet room. 

Keedie

Thanks @AntoMac, that's a very kind thing to say. The bipolar facilitator training went well. It is definitely going to improve my confidence. I'm so glad that I started going to the groups a few years ago. It has made such a difference to a sense of belonging.

I'm really glad about the wetroom @beanielou, as it will make such a difference. I think I'm getting on my son's nerves by going on about it though 😬😂. But I'm just so happy. 

I'm going to my friend's house for the weekend in Kent, and she's picking me up after she finishes work this evening. I'm looking forward to seeing her as we've not been able to hang out in a while. I'll be home on Sunday, and hanging out with no responsibilities is going to be nice. My son is looking forward to having the flat to himself I reckon. As long as he has food 😂. So we're going food shopping before my friend collects me.

The course materials for the bookkeeping came today and they were 5 wire bound books and after the initial excitement, my heart sank a little. I think it's just hit me how much work is going to be involved. I am looking forward to it, but I definitely need to work on some type of timetable.

beanielou

Enjoy your weekend. 

AntoMac

Hope you’re good Keedie

Cherryfudge

Just catching up... I hope you had a good weekend with your friend?

It's really exciting getting the bathroom done (good news on the towel rail) and I think accessorising in blue should work well. We have done similar though our towels etc. are purple - but it means you can change the feature colour without redoing everything (over the years we've had turquoise, terracotta and purple).

Once you get started on your coursework, it will be easier: it's when you are looking ahead at the mountain that it looks so big! Have you worked out some sort of timetable yet?

And the facilitator role should be a good contrast to the course, to help you keep fresh with both.

Keedie

I had a good weekend away thank you @beanielou. It was nice to do nothing much and hang out with my friend for the weekend. I slept hard when I got home though. I was absolutely shattered. I've also been having intermittent endometriosis flare ups, so I've not been feeling the greatest, but I just keep telling myself 'This Too, Shall Pass'.

I'm okay thanks @AntoMac, life just got incredibly busy, as I had to do a load of work before I could take a break and then I had my bipolar group last Friday, had a very busy weekend and then my son's surgery was on Monday 6 October, his 19th birthday was yesterday and it's my birthday today. So I'm just about catching up with myself. His operation went very well and he's been more mobile than we thought he would be, but he probably did too much yesterday as he's very tired now. My family came over yesterday to wish him happy birthday and we cut my birthday cake (in advance) and he had cupcakes.

I've done a loose timetable @Cherryfudge, and figured out a reasonable pace of study whilst I'm still working. I'm going to aim for 1 chapter a fortnight, including the tasks, activities etc. I should hopefully then be done by summer 2026 with Level 2. And I can start Level 3, and once that's done I can be a self employed bookkeeper. It's the start of the journey, but I'm glad that I've made a start. And I aim to pay the money back to my mum by the time I qualify if not before. 

I figured that I'll get on top of my sinking funds and get a bit ahead for 2026, and so that when I am in the thick of studying and not really freelancing as much, as my agency contract ends in December 2025, I will be able to stay afloat. So I moved some money around and managed to put £40 into the emergency fund (The Big Bufferoo), £240 into savings challenges and the usual £50 into the Help to Save account, for a total of £330. When the savings are challenges are completed, I'll reallocate the money to top up the sinking funds. 

I'm hoping to set aside as much of my agency wages between now and the end of the contract, so that I can start the new year in a better financial position. I'm going to concentrate on the savings challenges where I can, as it's a fun way to save, and then I'll see what I have at the end of the year and then use that to get ahead of 2026's expenses and sinking funds. The aim is that if I'm more on top of things, it will be easier when I am not able to work as much because I'm studying, in the hope that I can get through my units quicker to qualify and change career officially.

1stTimer

Happy birthday! And happy birthday and speedy recovery to your son!

Newstartforme

Happy Birthday to you and your son . Hope his leg heals very quickly xx