The Mental Debt Struggle...

KajiKita

What is it with you and wildlife? Butterflies and pigeons! 😉😊
Re the insects - I know there were bags of rubbish on the landing outside that were creating harbourage, presumably those are gone now? Are there any trees or other vegetation nearby? Maybe insect mesh on the windows might help? (Would slow down the kamikaze pigeons too! 😂) 

Glad your son has got through the surgery okay and back up the stairs. I think you are right to cut yourself as much slack as you need atm! 🤞 for Waitrose being kind and delivering to your kitchen 😊

Re the second leg, maybe once he has recovered and got the function back in the first leg he might reconsider. It will be a while though I suspect …. 😉

KK

Sun_Addict

This is the one the hospital recommended @Keedie

https://limboproducts.co.uk/

Aimingforthegoodlife

I love that the pigeon forced its way in, wonder where it thought it was going???

Hoping DS will heal up nice and quick, it does sound so so painful bless him. 

I wonder why you can't specifically ask for the delivery driver to deliver to the door, they could then give them more time, ask which drivers would be happy too? Seems like a missed oppertunity for many people!

Keedie

Thanks for the link @Sun_Addict, I've ordered one for him and it should arrive by Tuesday. He'll have to keep using the bowl in the meantime, which he's not very impressed with either 😂. That website was very good as it actually took account of the size and measurements of the individual, whereas the ones I saw on Amazon seemed to be one size fits all, which didn't make sense to me. 

I dunno why I attract these insects and wildlife @KajiKita! But my estate does have a lot of greenery. Each block has its own grassy area, there's lot of trees dotted about and a nature garden. And the rubbish bags have gone, I had a word with my neighbour and she's been a lot better about keeping on top of things and reminding the kids to do the same. 

As for that pigeon, I was flabbergasted. You're right @Cherryfudge, they really don't have much common sense. It was fighting its way through the gap in the window, and was struggling to get inside. Whereas my son leaves his windows wide wide open and nothing bothers him! So who knows where that pigeon thought it was off to @aimingforthegoodlife 🤷🏾‍♀️. It's just very very bizarre. The pigeons annoy me on this estate in the day and the foxes rule the area at night. Some proper urban twisted David Attenborough show going on around here 😂. 

And yes, definitely being kind to myself budget wise. I've been trying to think more about things that I enjoy that aren't too expensive. As I think I'll treat myself when things go back to normal. I've not been to the cinema in ages to watch something that wasn't part of chaperoning kids to the cinema. And I'll definitely see if I can specify delivery to my actual door for the food order. It won't be lots of heavy things like tins, as I struggle with a can opener and we have a water filter so I don't order water etc. I've found some individual airtight containers on Amazon in a lightning deal, so I'll get some of those, so that I can buy things like rice and pasta again. I just need to find something for the seasoning that isn't to fiddly to use when my hands are stiff and swollen. I should hopefully be able to get my kitchen back in a couple of weeks. But will wait until my son is all better to repaint as I can't really manage that myself.

AntoMac

That’s such a sensible idea @waitingforthegoodlife
Businesses definitely missing a trick. I would have thought customer satisfaction would be at the very top of their lists.

@Keedie One of my work colleagues had a back operation and said she’d really wished she’d never had it done the day after. Now she’s right as rain and so pleased she had it done. Exactly the same with my Dad’s cousin having a knee replacement. 

Keedie

I've been a bit frazzled over the last week. Helping my son to recover from his operation led me to feeling rather burnt out and weak. So I've been resting over the last few days as much as I can. But I'm starting to feel a lot better within myself. He's making a lot of progress but is still having trouble walking and actually putting weight on his right leg, which seems to mainly be psychological because he knows that it hurts. But the physio on Friday gave him some exercises to do and he has been going through them and is starting to grow in confidence about getting more active.

As he's starting to get more independent, I've had time to sit down and confront the mess that my budget has become. I'm always tinkering around with it 😂! But I had a eureka moment earlier today when I was talking to a friend about sinking funds and saving for things like Christmas, birthdays etc. I realised that I've been finding it kinda hard to keep on top of everything, as I feel like I'm not making much progress, as it's small amounts across different pots. So I've combined everything that I saved in August (£80) into one point that pays 3.85% interest. And as events happen, I will withdraw from that pot to pay for things like birthday presents, or the car tax. I figured a higher balance from being combined was better for interest, and I can just track what has been spent on which category to get a better understanding for 2025's budget. I've also set up a standing order of £100 to go into this pot each month and I'll see where I am at the end of the year. 

I've got £600 in my boosted saver pot in Chase, which has the money for my son's 18th (£500) and my emergency fund (£100) and that is at 4.85% interest. So I'll sit down and do a frugal birthday budget for him, and whatever is left over will stay in the pot to boost the emergency fund. I'll also be putting £100 a month into that pot.

I've also decided from September 2024, to reduce my Barclaycard direct debit from £250 a month to £200 a month. This way I have a buffer of sorts, and I'm able to save some money to make lump sum repayments without feeling squeezed every month. And when the debts are finally behind me, I plan to start investing to try and build up a nest egg for the future. I'll be rather late to the investment party, but I'm hoping that it doesn't prove to be too late to make a difference retirement wise. 

FacelessNumber

I think that's a good idea! I have one or two pots separate but for the most part just chuck everything into one savings pot and take what I need from it. It covers things like car repairs, Christmas, house purchases, whatever really!

I have a set amount I try and get it back up to each time we dip into it and anything over that goes elsewhere (mortgage, investment accounts, credit cards etc).

It works well for me, hope it works for you too!

KajiKita

I’m similar to FacelessNumber in that I have a couple of savings accounts (EDIT: actually quite a few when I stop and think about it!😂):
- the first £500 sits in an easy access, same bank as my current account, account, lousy interest rate. 
- Beyond that I transfer it to my higher interest account (still easy access, no penalties for withdrawals),
- I have a small chunk in premium bonds (just for fun! 😉).
-I have another small small sum tucked away in a limited access ISA for higher interest, but only a bit. 

- Because we have a joint account that we both slightly over contribute to, any excess gets shuffled off to the linked, joint savings account. I try and keep that at £1K so that we are covered for a washing machine and an oven dying at the same time. Any excess to that £1K becomes an OP to the mortgage - sadly no OPs made from here recently as the joint savings are depleted due to the work on the bathroom costing more than anticipated - slowly building up again now. 

- I have a spreadsheet that I track all these savings on so I can see how many months EF I have v. my minimum monthly outgoings - if I was to lose my job I have highlighted which subs etc I would immediately cancel. 

KK

Cherryfudge

It sounds as though you are past the most testing phase, post-op. Good to hear both you and your son are improving!

I like the idea of combining savings so you can benefit from a higher interest rate. Looking at your signature, you've made excellent progress on the debt thanks to all the effort you've put in.

Keedie

Hey everyone, I crashed hard the last few days so I'm veryI'm glad that I had my eureka moment and it's comforting to see that other people also have a generic pot for their savings. I think not having pressure to keep things all separate will make all the difference. And I think seeing two pots grow quicker is more motivating. My focus for any spare money, would be to work on building the emergency fund. 

My son has enrolled at a local college for his Level 3 Business (2 bus stops away) and I can easily drop him there and collect him in the first few weeks whilst he still has his brace on. The commute to his other college is nearly an hour and involves lots of stairs, lots of walking, changing trains and platforms and getting a 5 minute bus ride to the campus or doing a 10 minute (non-crutches pace) from another station. It was all too daunting and I can't do that commute with him as I have to work. He's enrolled at the local college today and although he would have preferred to stay where he was, he said he'd rather just get his head down and do what he's doing and being close to home is comforting. And some of his friends from his secondary school go to this local college as well, so he's pleased about that. It's a weight off my mind too, as I was unsure how we were going to cope with everything and I didn't want him to think I was discouraging him.

He's better in spirits, as he's been able to slow walk to the shops the other day. And just now he's hobbled down the stairs to go and meet his friends, and said they'll sit in the estate park and catch up. I think he's being going stir crazy spending so much time in his room! 

I was really sad today though, as it was my last day with my carer who has been with me for over 2 years. The agency she works for lost their contract with the council, and so they've all been TUPE'd to other agencies and the agency she's gone to doesn't cover my part of the borough 🥺🥺🥺. So I've no clue who is coming from next week, and I feel really anxious about it, as I don't like random people in my house and it has taken me a long time to get comfortable. So we'll just see how it goes, but I'm really sad to see her go, as she was so so nice and allowed me to keep my dignity when things were all over the place in my flat, I never felt judged. I gave her a present and a card and she was so happy, and she gave me a big hug as she was leaving.

I guess September is a fresh start for me and my son, and I need to be focussed on the positives of change, rather than being in a blind panic about it all. I keep telling myself there are positives. Like the fact that there is no monthly travelcard to pay for, as my son isn't commuting and so I won't need to pay £102.60 a month. And the fact that as he's continuing in education, the child benefit remains in place and that means that the child element of universal credit remains also. He'll be able to have a little more leeway with spending money and I can put more aside for things like Christmas and the car etc. 

I keep telling myself it's a good thing, but I feel vey vulnerable with all the changes, and that is quite difficult for me to admit and manage.