The Mental Debt Struggle...

Cherryfudge

I wonder if there might be a grant towards a wheelchair? Tackling Financial Insecurity Together | Turn2us

AntoMac

Yes it was the local Red Cross we went to, not St John’s. Thanks for the memory jog  @southern_chick

Makingabobor2

Red Cross normally loan them for just a small donation to the charity

Keedie

Thank you all so so much for all your support, advice and words of encouragement. You don't know how much it means to me, truly. I'm very touched and the last few days have been so overwhelming. I knew he needed surgery but assumed it would be months from now as he's been on the list for so long. But to have a week's notice, has thrown us into a bit of a tailspin, and so I've just done nothing today so that I can try and rebalance mentally, physically and emotionally.

Wheelchair hasn't been sourced as yet, as I was trying to work out if it was cheaper to buy one, but a lot of them have delivery dates too far in the future and I need to get this sorted by tomorrow. The Red Cross is on the list of wheelchair suppliers and they charge £20 a week and £25 delivery. There's also one on the list not too far from me that is £15 a week but their website is confusing and the range is limited. The whole thing has given me a headache to be honest. But that's my main task tomorrow, to get a wheelchair sorted. I was getting too frazzled trying to think of everything else that I just froze yesterday and concentrated on other things and made a list of practical things he'll need. Oh and I also need to sort out disabled parking for the overnight stay at the hospital. 

So I was kinda productive yesterday on my lunch break and when I finished work, so it was a very busy day. I managed to speak to his college about his enrolment as it's scheduled for 22 August, and I don't know how he'll be one week post op. But they said that alternative appointments are 2 September, which is the mop up session and so we'll just trudge along to the 22 August, as they'll be slotting people into courses that are not filled up in September so we can't risk it. But they've given me permission to park in the staff car park so that I can wheel him into the building and be closer (yep, I'll have to push him around on that day as there's no one else to help us on that day at that time aside from my mum and she's elderly and has my autistic big sister to contend with). His appointment is at 10:15 and it's a 45 minute drive, so we'll have to set off around 08:45, so that he has time to navigate down the stairs, I can drive there at a reasonable pace as I'll have to avoid bumps where I can, and there is time to park, and get sorted in the wheelchair etc and then up to the sports hall. Luckily there's a lift 😬. It's going to be seriously crowded as it's result day on 22 August, so I'll pack my portable camping stool so that I can sit whilst we wait around. 

I also managed to arrange some mental health support from the children's hospital for him, as he's rather anxious about everything. And so they'll be able to talk through everything again with him. I need something for myself to be honest, but it's not really about me right now, so I'll sort that later. 

I need to get him one of those showerproof brace covers for when he washes as his dressings can't get wet. I need to remember to pick up the bed tray from my mum's as he won't be able to eat at his desk or the dining table for a little bit, so he'll have to eat in bed. And I've been trying to find an elevated leg support and a suitable ice pack and I did some research and elevation and ice treatment will help with the swelling and recovery process.

I've given up on my emergency fund for now. I decided that the sinking funds will wait until next month, and so the £200 I had set aside for the sinking funds, and the £100 for savings challenges will fund all this lot that is needed, plus the emergency fund money. Then I'll just have to start afresh in September. The largest cost is the wheelchair, so once I've got that sorted tomorrow, I can then see where I'm at with the rest of the stuff. And if needs be, I will use his birthday pot money and just re-jig what I was doing for his 18th.

Life really does just push you to keep a flexible mindset for a budget doesn't it? Luckily I had the budget that I did for this month, as that £300 that was for sinking funds and savings challenges, will now come in really handy. Bit sad that I have to push everything back, but I think that's the more sensible choice rather than putting myself in the position whereby I have to borrow money or take on debt. I'm trying to be more sensible these days lol.

Cherryfudge

That's a lot to organise and cope with emotionally in a very short space of time. You're doing a great job - including having a day to rebalance yourself, which is wise and I'm sure will have helped you think of things you might have missed otherwise.

How will he get up to the flat after his op? I know it's further ahead and for now you need to get the chair, etc, sorted, and that they will check he can do stairs safely, but you need to be confident he's safe too.

beanielou

When I had plasters on I used to use heavy duty bin bags to cover them.

Makingabobor2

beanielou said:

When I had plasters on I used to use heavy duty bin bags to cover them.

Yes, I used bin bags over my arm plaster when I broke my shoulder & again when broke my wrist. Much cheaper than paying out for a proper cover

FacelessNumber

Just popping on as someone that teaches people to do stairs after surgery, it's much easier than you'd expect! As he's young and I assume has decent arm strength I'd imagine he'll be fine, although make sure he's ready to find it surprisingly tiring! Do the stairs have a handrail all the way up? That's the main thing that makes it easier, although it is doable without.

Keedie

Right, so I've spoken to the Red Cross and it's £22 a week with £25 delivery and it can be delivered on Monday as they don't deliver on the weekend, which is normal. It will also give me time to practice folding it and putting it in the car. I'll have to remove my rollator as that's currently taking up most of the boot space. I was panicking that I might not get a wheelchair on time, but that's okay now. It's definitely a lot to manage in a short space of time, so having a sloth day yesterday has really helped me to feel less overwhelmed @Cherryfudge. If I had more notice of the surgery, I would have brought a wheelchair as it would be cheaper in the long run, but the ones that I could afford at the moment had delivery dates at the end of August or mid-September which in this case, is just pointless.

The lady at the Red Cross advised that I do the hire for 3 weeks initially, and then if I want it for longer, I can extend it. That was £91 (so I've used the money I would have set aside for savings challenges for this). That's better budget wise, as I'll only have to pay upfront for the 3 weeks and delivery and it buys me more time to get things in place to be able to manage any extensions. He might not need it for much longer than that, but if he does, we can extended it a week at a time. 

My mum has kindly offered to help me get him to college to enrol and she has put it in her diary. She said it's too much for me to do everything and we can take turns pushing him around. So that is some relief. She's even written it in her diary bless her. I think between the two of us we can definitely manage. She also told me to write a list of questions as they pop in my head, regarding the support he'll need when he returns to college as he will need to have his leg elevated and the hospital will 

As for the bin bags and showering, that honestly never occurred to me! How did you secure the bin bags @beanielou
and @Makingabobor2? 

There's about 39 steps up to our flat @facelessnumber including the first 3 steps by the communal front door. There's a handrail up those initial steps onto a communal hallway for the flats on that level and there's probably about 6-8 footsteps before you reach the main set of stairs. And those stairs go up to all the other floors and has a continuous handrail on the right hand side. Every 6 or 7 steps (I honestly can't remember as I do them on autopilot and muscle memory, I could legit do the stairs blindfolded after 14 years), has a flat level the width of the two staircases and a window, and you turn to go up the other set of stairs. So essentially there's a double set of stairs in between each floor of flats, so lots of levels to rest after every set of stairs in between the communal front door and our flat at the top. The surgeon seemed more than confident that the stairs wasn't a big deal, but I was secretly questioning this but didn't want to be disrespectful, but seeing as the physio and you, both agree, that's very reassuring. So thank you. I'll warn him about being tired, as at the moment the stairs don't bother him, but it'll be a different story post surgery. And yes, he has a lot of upper body strength as I've been exploiting his muscles for years and making him carry everything up the stairs for me. I've been inadvertently training him for this moment 😂.

I've sorted the parking for his surgery next week, as I called the information centre and they said they'll waive the parking charges because of the blue badge as they normally would do. I wasn't sure if they would cover the charges for his appointment, as they say that they give free parking for your own appointments, but she basically told me not to be silly, and that of course they'll waive the fees as he can't get to and from hospital without me. So that's one less thing to worry about and pay for.

I've also cancelled my NHS prepayment certificate as my doctor refuses to give me any bipolar medication and I'm not on any pain medication so it was a waste of money. So I will set aside the equivalent that I would have spent over the next few months in a pot, so that if I do have a prescription the money is there, or if I do end up needing to buy another prepayment certificate, I'm able to do so.

I'm trying really hard to keep my costs down, in preparation for the shower being fitted as I don't know how much that will cost. And once it is all sorted, I'm hoping that I'll be able to bounce back fairly quickly and then continue to pay down the debt and build some savings. 

Cherryfudge

I'm glad you have the wheelchair and parking sorted out - and extra glad you don't have to pay for parking. And how lovely that your mum is helping push! That's a good idea about the prescription money - remember to set aside the cost of one prescription in your head as well as on your app, so if you do need it, you don't feel you're taking from the shower money.  

You are really doing an awesome job of organising this, well done.