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The Mental Debt Struggle...

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  • Keedie
    Keedie Posts: 2,847 Forumite
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    That's a very useful insight thank you @beanielou.I'm glad that it's been so positive for you as well. Did you have to wait very long once it reached the contractor stage for an appointment for the works to be done?

    My son is excited as he's tired of squishing up in the front of the bath as the bath lift takes up so much space. I think once the moths are fully gone and the kitchen can be redecorated and we have a functioning bathroom, it will all feel a lot better. As I rarely leave the house unless there is a need to do so, I spent so much of my life at home and in my room, so it will make such a difference to be able fully use my whole flat. I can't change the stairs, but at least I know that once I'm home, I'm not going to be having problems.
    Debt Free Diary:- The Mental Debt Struggle
    (Original Debt on 15/07/2016 was £33,056.76) 🙈 but Debt Free on 09/02/2025 🎉
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  • beanielou
    beanielou Posts: 95,512 Ambassador
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Academoney Grad Mortgage-free Glee!
    I dident wait too long keedie.  I am glad what I said was helpful.
    I am a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on Mortgage Free Wannabe & Local Money Saving Scotland & Disability Money Matters. If you need any help on those boards, do let me know.Please note that Ambassadors are not moderators. Any post you spot in breach of the Forum Rules should be reported via the report button , or by emailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com. All views are my own & not the official line of Money Saving Expert.

    Lou~ Debt free Wanabe No 55 DF 03/14.**Credit card debt free 30/06/10~** MFW. Finally mortgage free O2/ 2021****
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  • Keedie
    Keedie Posts: 2,847 Forumite
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    I'm glad you didn't have a long wait @beanielou. Fingers crossed my wait isn't too long either.

    We went to the hospital today for my son's pre-op assessment and his knee surgery has been set for next Wednesday 14 August. So I've got to get everything sorted for that and will have to spend the night in hospital with him. He's having the first knee done next week and may get the other knee done afterward. And I need to hire or buy a wheelchair with the leg support as the leg needs to be straight and he needs to use a wheelchair if he is going to be out and about for a period of time. We're both a bit overwhelmed by it all and he's been telling me that his knee doesn't hurt, and then when the surgery was decided, he admitted that he used to pop his knee back in place! He's understandably upset that the rest of summer will be spent recovering and he has to return to college on crutches and with a leg brace. But he's happy that he'll be recovered by his 18th in early October. 

    I need to work out the costings for the wheelchair situation ASAP, and figure out where I'm pulling the money from. Depending on the cost of hiring one, it may work out cheaper to buy one. I might need to push back the sinking funds I started to September, and use that money for the wheelchair instead. The children's hospital gave me a 2 or 3 page document with a list of hire companies, so I'll be trawling through that tomorrow. We also need to buy him some more loose fitting tracksuits and shorts as he'll have the brace on for a minimum of 6 weeks.

    The main thing for him, is that he gets to stay at home after the operation and the surgeon and the physio today explained that they will teach him how to navigate stairs and he has to master that before he is allowed to be discharged. I think being home and having visitors etc, will help reduce the likelihood of him getting very depressed after the surgery. As he will need to recondition his knee to build strength in it. I'm not going to lie, I'm secretly stressing out.
    Debt Free Diary:- The Mental Debt Struggle
    (Original Debt on 15/07/2016 was £33,056.76) 🙈 but Debt Free on 09/02/2025 🎉
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  • Cherryfudge
    Cherryfudge Posts: 13,204 Forumite
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    Any kind of medical thing for our children is bound to be stressful. It's parental instinct! Does it help to focus on the fact he will soon be in recovery mode, and rebuilding himself with a stronger knee?

    I'm really surprised the hospital doesn't supply a wheelchair, but as they've given a list instead... well, that must be the way. I suppose they must lose a few and it gets expensive. I wonder if there's a charity that could help? Or does your work have any employee benefit that might help out?
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  • KajiKita
    KajiKita Posts: 7,612 Forumite
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    I wondered about a charity and I know my work employee assistance program helps with things like this. Definitely worth asking around. 🤞 for both the wheelchair and the op. 

    Btw, you won’t be pushing him anywhere, will you? Think you need to set up a rota of his mates (young, strong males!) to do that - will ease the physical pressure on you and will give him social contact as he is recovering. Just a suggestion 😊

    KK
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  • AntoMac
    AntoMac Posts: 2,670 Forumite
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    That does sound like a big event Keedie, so it’s understandable you’re finding it a bit stressy. The good thing is that your boy is young and youngsters always seem to recover very well from these ops. The only person who thinks I’m still young is my Mum 🧓 
    We bought a wheelchair years ago for Mum and it has more than paid for itself. Can’t remember how much it cost but we have a St John’s Ambulance place nearby so I recall it being a good deal. It folds up nicely and we’ve loaned it out plenty of times. 
    On the rare occasions she needs to use it nowadays 14 Stone me finds pushing 9 stone Mum challenging enough, so don’t go trying to drive your son around.
    The time will fly and he’ll be fully recovered before you know it. It will also give him invaluable life experience and an insight into how life can be for disabled people.
    One of my young work colleagues uses a wheelchair. It has been a real eye opener seeing how he copes with life. He’s a real inspiration. 
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  • badmemory
    badmemory Posts: 9,593 Forumite
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    I too am surprised the hospital don't loan out wheelchairs.  My local one certainly does.  I saw that when I collected the crutches plus 3 other things I borrowed for my hip replacement. 
  • Loving all the changes to the budget, and I can imagine the mic drop moment when you explained your budgeting prowess to them! Awesome! I second the above, you may be able to get one cheaper/free from a charity, or maybe even facebk marketplace? As antomac says, children always seem to bounce back so much better than adults, the popping the knee bit, did make me feel faint to be fair!
  • The hospital I work for don’t give out wheelchairs, we just don’t have the funds unfortunately but we tend to direct patients to The Red Cross so might be worth a try. Each town/city will have their own criteria for who/how they will lend but a good starting place and they could then offer some advice on where else to go locally.  hope your son gets on ok and make sure you look after yourself as well xx
    slowly working towards being MF one small over payment at a time :T
  • badmemory
    badmemory Posts: 9,593 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    When I think about it it may not have been the hospital that loaned the items.  It was the hospiltal that told me what to ask for, but it may have been a council dept that loaned them
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