The Mental Debt Struggle...

Baileys_Babe

Good luck to you both today 🤗

vampirotoothus

I hope all goes well today. V x

Makingabobor2

Hope the op goes well. x

Crazycatlady2

Hope your sons OP and recovery goes as well as it can 

Keedie

Thank you all for your well wishes, the knee operation was successful. But my son is in a lot of pain and really struggling. He was really tearful and frustrated last night. But it's only day three and last night he did conquer the mammoth 51 stairs into our flat after being discharged. So he's extra worn out today, but is in better spirits. And three of his cousins came by to see him today. His girlfriend was with him yesterday in the hospital and was a godsend when we were being discharged and really helped to support and motivate him up the stairs and getting comfortable lying down etc. He seems to prefer her helping him to me helping him, typical teenager 😂.

But I do feel so worn out and exhausted by it all. Luckily the children's hospital had a murphy bed to pull down for the parents at each bedside, so although it wasn't the most comfortable sleep, it made such a difference than sitting in that chair. As I need to be at my best to take care of him. But I can already feel the flare up starting. It's going to be take away tonight as I'm just not in the mood to do anything and the chinese shop has reopened so it's only right that we welcome back to the high street by eating their food 😋😂.

My budget is non-existent for the rest of this month. I've just simply given up and next month I will start afresh. I managed to get a bit of shopping today, mainly fruits and some potatoes as they're versatile and the moths won't get them. Pest control are back again on monday and I've brought two of those bug catchers, but I inadvertently took out a butterfly and I felt really sad and guilty 😬. I need to get some ready meals as well. I can't be cooking all the time as I'm so weak and tired and I spent the last week preparing practical things, but didn't think about food post hospital. It's time to put Waitrose to use, as my son can hardly get out bed let alone help me with shopping, so I need to see if Waitrose will deliver up the stairs as most supermarkets leave it to the driver's discretion. But Waitrose says they can even bring it to the kitchen, so we'll see. I just need pest control to do their thing before I spend money on a delivery worthy shop and I end up with the same issue with needing to get rid of food. I've only seen one moth today and one yesterday, but before we went into hospital I hadn't seen any for a couple of days. So I'm a bit confused by it all to be honest.

I've not been paid my extra hours at work, so August will be the second month that I am paid for 18 hours, despite working 21 hours a week. And on 9 September I'm due to increase to 24 hours a week. It seems there is an issue with the funding for me to do 28 hours a week and until that's resolved, Finance won't sign off the extra hours. And no one seems to be able to explain when this will take place. They have enough budget for 24.5 hours a week, and so whilst my son was in surgery and I had to keep occupied, I redid my whole budget based on 24 hours a week, PIP and child benefit.

It's £300 less a month, but by reducing it, it gave me time to think about what was very important to me and therefore had to be included. It also sees Barclaycard reduce from £250 a month to £200 a month, and the sinking funds scaled back to £100 a month and I will only concentrate on Christmas/Eid, Birthdays/Gifts and Car Maintenance. But with the budget based on the lesser hours, I think I will be better off in the long run, as if there is no budget for 28 hours, then I might have to revise my working hours and plan. So it's best to start now, and if the 28 hours a week is sorted, then I can use the difference in budget to make debt overpayments and save more.

Sun_Addict

Just caught up with you and pleased to hear your son’s knee surgery was successful. He’s done well with conquering all those stairs already! He’s young and will be determined to get back on his feet ASAP no doubt. Having broken both my legs in the past 6 years, I found a waterproof leg cover invaluable so I could still shower/have a bath. I went with the ones the hospital recommended which were brilliant but not cheap. 

beanielou

Glad that the operation is done & your son is home.  Sure he will be on the mend soon,  I am sure WAitrose will come up trumps for you.  Delivery is only 2 quid if you choose a 4 hour slot & 4 quid for a 1 hour slot.

AntoMac

Things will only get better from now Keedie.  That’s the worst if it now with the op actually done.
Don’t blame you for taking a slightly more relaxed outlook on your budget for a short time while you prioritise looking after your boy.

Keedie

Two broken legs in 6 years is a lot to recover from @Sun_Addict, and considering how much you walk and exercise, that makes it even more impressive! What cover did the hospital recommend for you to shower? I told my son about using a bin bag and tape and he got really embarrassed and said he just wants to be able to cover his leg so that he can then wash in private. I guess he was worried that if the tape wasn't on properly and he needed help he'd be exposed - which neither of us want to suffer through! 

I got a letter from the council home improvement team about the wet room shower, confirming that Occupational Therapy has stated that I need adaptations. And now I am on their waiting list. Which should hopefully not be too long. But at least the bath lift is there for my son to use, even though I can't manage it myself. It's a shame the shower isn't already there, as it would make it easier for him to navigate and it will have a seat as well.

I was feeling really guilty when I saw him struggling so much to get up the stairs. But I knew that him being in his own environment would make the most difference to him being motivated to get well. The next few weeks and months will be very hard for him, but it will definitely get better like you said @antomac. At least now that the surgery has been done, his knee cap is finally where it should be instead of part way up his thigh on the outside of his leg. I doubt he'll do the other knee though. He's distinctly unimpressed at the moment 🥴. We've got 6 weeks until our holiday, so he needs to be able to at least get about without crutches, even if he might still has the brace on by then. I'm hoping that's enough incentive for him to get up out of the bed more. We're going to try him on the stairs again on Monday. Not all the way to the bottom, just practice going up and down the last flight of stairs (8 steps). As on Thursday we have to get him to college to re-enrol on the Level 3 course and on Friday, he has physio.

A £2 delivery slot for Waitrose is cheaper compared to what I paid with Tesco and Asda, and both their drivers refused to bring the shopping up. So I'll keep my fingers crossed things go well with Waitrose for delivery @beanielou. 

I almost forgot. On Sunday, I was woken up after 7am by a pigeon struggling to squeeze itself through a small gap in my open bedroom window! Why pigeons love to get in here I don't know, but I screamed and it plopped right in as it fell, righted itself and flew around and tried to go out the closed window and kept bashing itself on the glass. Then eventually managed to squeeze back through the gap, but its wing went at an unnatural angle and it was squawking like crazy and I was still screaming. Proper carnage. But now, hopefully all the pigeons will know not to come in here, cos I'm a little crazy 😂.

Cherryfudge

I'm glad he's home! It's going to be hard work for a while, so the Waitrose order is a great idea - and maybe another visit from his girlfriend or his cousins would help too? Anything to cheer him along and take the pressure off you.

Pigeons aren't known for their common sense...