The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

It's definitely worth another visit in my opinion @Squirrelz92. You can have a fairly inexpensive day out if you're not doing activities like the Pleasure Beach and Sandcastle Waterpark, like I've booked. They weren't cheap as it was £35 for the BPB and £24 for the water park. But I was in a splurgy mood when I booked it and didn't think of all of the other costs. I know that children eat free at Coney Island if you fancied going and eating out, but they have lots of things to do there even if you don't want to eat. My son and nephew are over 12 so they can't eat free.

beanielou

Enjoy your break 

AntoMac

Great photos Keedie. Blackpool looks a lot nicer (and warmer and dryer) than when I was there in Feb. I recall my holidays there being fairly inexpensive. It was always quite nice on an evening just to mill up and down the prom.

Keedie

I had a really nice time in Blackpool and thanks everyone for the nice holiday wishes. The weather was perfect for me, but the teenagers had a whinge about it not being 32 degrees like it was in London! They were so fascinated with the tide being out when we went to the pier, and it's so good for them to get out of the city and see a different life. 

You can definitely do Blackpool on the cheap @AntoMac, just walking around the promenade was exciting for them. We went to Coral Island and I splashed out on the 2p machine and won some tickets for prizes, but then my son got food poisoning the next day and so we weren't able to go back and trade them in, as the prize shop queue was so long and I was having trouble standing at that point and we had a long walk back to the hotel. Hopefully they'll be valid next year as I forgot to hand them in at the hotel in case a family staying there might have wanted them.

The trip really helped reduce my stress levels and although it cost a bit more than I budgeted, we had a lot of fun and it was nice to have some bonding time with my son and nephew. In fact, my son kept repeatedly thanking me for taking them on the holiday and when we got back yesterday evening he gave me a massive hug and told me that he really appreciates me and everything I do for him! And he said that he knows that we don't have a lot of money, but he has noticed that the adults in our family make a lot of sacrifices so that the children can as many good memories and experiences as possible and he's starting to realise that's of more value than having the latest clothes... I had to do a double take at all of this, as I feel like he's finally going back to the sweet sensitive child he used to be and it was much appreciated. 

He even asked me about the household finances and what I pay for everything so I showed him and he asked how much I earn roughly from all of my jobs and I told him. And he said as soon as he's done his GCSEs he's going to get a job and start helping me and he's sorry that I have to pay out for so many things plus his school fees. And I told him he can repay the fees (and his eyes widened considerably before I finished my sentence! 😂), by working hard and doing his best, even if it's not his preferred way of learning, he just needs to consistently try, that's all I'm asking for. He gave me a massive hug and said he'll do me proud.

So I feel like we've turned a corner which is a relief! But I'm not sure how much enthusiasm he will have when he has to start studying week after next and it's still the summer holidays 😂.

My car is still making some strange sounds, and so I drove like a snail all the way home doing no more than 50 miles an hour in the slow lane. I was grateful the speed restrictions and motorway upgrades on the way back as it stopped people getting annoyed with me. But the whole journey took 8.5 hours including dropping my nephew off. So I've booked it in for a free repairs check at my local Halfords on Friday as I wanted to wait until payday as I know that it needs something, but I'm not sure what or how much it will cost.

But the truth is, I actually hate driving and I'm really considering giving it up in terms of owning a car and being obligated to drive. It's very convenient, but it's also very expensive. Living in London with a choice of bus stops within 5 minutes walk and a tube station 5-7 minutes walk away, I can survive without a car. And I have done previously for a year or more at a time. I barely use my car as I work from home and  my family are all accessible by foot or short bus ride, aside from sister in East London, but once I walk to my local tube station, it's fairly straightforward from there. Although I drive to work once or twice a month out of convenience, I can take the bus. Now that I have a carer that actually helps with my weekly food shop, and I can top up and send my son to the shops or go with one of my siblings, so there's workarounds. I've looked into ad hoc car hire/rental if I do need a car, and this doesn't seem to be to pricey. So lots to think about... 🤔

LittleMissDetermined

Oh Keedie, I’m so happy you had a good week away, it’s a shame about the bloody car! Hopefully it will be a simple and inexpensive repair, but I do think it makes sense to get rid given your access to public transport. Lots of people use rental cars for the occasional trip rather than the hassle of maintaining their own.

I think it sounds like a bit of a lightbulb moment for your son. I hope that continues for you x

Sarahwithlove

Sounds like getting rid of car might be a good way forward for you. They can be expensive to run if you aren't getting enough use out of it. 

Keedie

I think getting rid of the car is definitely the way forward.

I'm hoping that it's not anything too expensive to sort out that weird watery groaning noise that the car is currently making, as my finances are stretched too thin at the moment. As I'd still have to fix it to sell it. I feel a certain freedom knowing that I won't have to worry about a car. I mean it costs an eye watering £178 just to park the car on the road for the year!

My insurance ends around 20 September 2022, so I'm not sure if I wait until it ends and not renew it and then sell the car so that I still get this year's No Claims Bonus, or if I renew and then sell it later in the year. I've paid the insurance upfront last year, so there's no cost to letting it run out. But I don't know if I was to renew on a monthly insurance to get through the winter, if I'd be liable for the whole year if I sold the car and cancelled mid-policy?

So I figured sooner rather than later, as by September, it'll still have 7 months MOT left, but I've not committed to another year's insurance and then MOT and service in April 2023.

I know that you have to take out insurance within 2 years or you lose your No Claims Discount. So if I do decide to get a little run around, then I'd have until August/September 2024 to get back on the road so that I don't lose the NCD. And by then, I'll definitely be debt free as aside from putting some money into an emergency fund, I'd use the sale of the car to clear up some debts.

I'm often home for 3/4 days without going anywhere and then I find excuses to use the car as it's there. I no longer need to an ad hoc school run if he's running late, as he's now homeschooled and I work from home. Lidl is a 5 minute walk away as it's right by the bus stop, and I really need to invest in a water filter as using the car to buy water, just because I'm not lugging the water bottles across the road is a waste of money and not exactly environmentally friendly 🤦🏾‍♀️. So even though I'm disabled, I can still cope without the car. I'm just not looking forward to winter 😬 on foot in the rain.

I've definitely seen a shift in my son's mindset @LittleMissDetermined so I'm cautiously optimistic that this lightbulb moment will continue... 🤞🏾. He met up with old school friends today and he was really happy, so it seems that between the trip to Blackpool and getting more freedom back and knowing which genuine friends he has left, he's turning a corner mentally as well.

AntoMac

Lots of really good news there @Keedie. Sometimes you can’t put a price on the value of a good holiday.
Getting rid of your car does sound like a very sensible idea, and should save a lot of money. There are so many transport options in London and for me anyway driving in London can be a tad ‘lively’.
We had 6 months or so without a car when ours was written off and the extra savings were huge.

Keedie

Yes @Sarahwithlove and @AntoMac, I think getting rid of the car is definitely the right move. And yes, driving in London is an experience to say the least!

Although it's convenient to have a car, it's so expensive when you're not using it enough. When I didn't have a car a few years ago, I saved so much money it was crazy! I guess I'm also very lucky with the location that I live in, as the transport options and shops etc are all so close by. And as my son gets older, he doesn't rely on me as much for getting him to and from places.

I was worried about how we'd get to Butlins in December as we're going away for our family break (the one that I'm repaying my mum for), and I realised that we can get one straight train there and with a disabled railcard, me and my son can get there for around £14 return. Massive difference compared to petrol costs or hiring a car for a few days, and the train station in London is a 10 minute bus ride away, and a 7 minute walk once we get to Bognor Regis, so I'm not so concerned anymore and the fact that I won't have to drive is great. My son is excited about getting the train as he said it reminds him of all of the trips I used to take him to when he was younger and he enjoys train and coach trips as he feels like he's going on a real holiday. So yes, you can't put a price on making memories and enjoying holidays.

Aaaand, I was so excited to find out that with any national railcard, you can link it to your oyster card and get 1/3 off pay as you go fares on the bus and tube! So I'll be saving money on the rate I pay when I do need to get out and about. So the bus would reduce from £1.65 to £1.10 for unlimited one hour journeys. And I'll have 1/3 of trains across the country for me and one adult companion and as my son is 16 in October, he would be paying adult fare anyways. I'll also get him a 16-17 railcard as well, so that he can get 50% reduction on his fares if he's not with me.

Keedie

The Sunday Summary (Retro Fitted)

I feel like I've turned a corner this week, not financially as I went over budget in Blackpool 🤦🏾‍♀️, but mentally things are starting to look hopeful and my relationship with my son is on the mend too. 

I've not made any debt repayments this past week, as none of my direct debits have come out of my account. So financially things are the same debt wise.

Debts
*Bank of Mum 1 (car) = £433 (45.88% repaid so far)
*Bank of Mum 2 (family holiday = £300 (26.82% repaid so far)
*Bank of Mum 3 (school fees) PENDING = £4,800 pending (0% repaid)
*Barclaycard = £8,511.75 (9.88% repaid so far) 
*Creation Finance = £1,070 (22.50% repaid so far) 
*MBNA = £954 (29.33% repaid so far)
*SKY Mobile = £1,038.90 (7.30% repaid so far)
*TUI Turkey = £2,560.54 (18.18% repaid so far) 

Savings Goals
This week I have managed to put £25.84 into my PADding pot. If it's not needed by the end of the month, then I'm aiming to put this into my bills pot on Monzo so that I can slowly start to build up a month's advance of bills as I have just moved from a budget from 24th of the month when I get my employed salary, to the 1st of the month, so that I can run a calendar month budget. 

I qualified for the first instalment of the cost of living crises grant, and so I will receive £326 on Tuesday 19 July and I'll use this to put some money in my emergency fund (£100), some for my bills pot (£126) and some for a big food shop (£100).

Mental Health/Wellbeing
I managed 2/3 of my weekly goals as I stayed on top of my hygiene and had walks in Blackpool without the boys, but I didn't get a chance to journal. I'll continue with my hygiene and try to go for a walk in a few days when the temperature cools down. So I have 3 new goals this week to continue improving my mental health.

1. Journalling - so that I can check in with myself and keep focussed on my goals and try to make sense of the world around me.
2. Colouring in - I have adult colouring books and I find this really soothing and providing that my hands don't swell or stiffen with the extreme heat, I'm aiming to colour in twice this week
3. Mental health research - I want to learn more about my bipolar and how to live my best life, and so I have gone through my bookshelf and dug out a really good book I started but didn't finish years ago, that I ironically brought for research for a character in a novel that I was writing. But the book was confusing to me, as I recognised myself in the descriptors but did not have a bipolar diagnosis at the time and that freaked me out and so I suddenly stopped the book. Hopefully, now that I've made peace with my diagnosis, I'll be able to get a lot more out of it. This is the book I'm reading this week.