The Mental Debt Struggle...

beanielou

Eeek to the moths.
Congratulations to your son.

Makingabobor2

Have you tried peppermint oil to help deter the moths?  It is supposed to help with pantry moths.  Make up a spray of it and spray around and wipe the cupboards out with it etc. Also cedar oil is supposed to be good. We had carpet moths once and cedar worked wonders. 

Keedie

I've had nightmares about these moths @KajiKita. I'm traumatised from killing 3 different mating moths getting jiggy on my kitchen walls. It literally makes me feel sick. I have the next earliest available appointment, so no one will come before Wednesday as I have to be home, as my son is still under 18 and I have an assessment tomorrow for some face to face mental health support, so that has to take priority over moths, so I can't cancel it. I'll have a look into peppermint oil thank you @Makingabobor2, I'm getting so anxious about it all, and I just want it all to be over!

I'd not thought to check with my neighbours about the moths to be honest @Cherryfudge, as we've just been battling them on our own. But I'll mention it in the block group chat that we have. Just so that they can be on the lookout. As I definitely intend for them to die out and starve from my flat, but I'd feel awful if they just ran off to my neighbours. 

And yes, exceptionally proud Mummy Moment at the graduation. He said he's looking forward to the next one, as he will be actually leaving and so more of his classmates will be there, as there were only 4 of them that showed up this time round. Maybe because it's the Level 2 course and they know that they have another 2 years to go 🤷🏾‍♀️.

After 13 months of pushing the issue, I've finally been accepted onto the waiting list for some group therapy. I've been quite frustrated as I'm not allowed any bipolar medication because my body doesn't metabolise it properly and it messes up my liver, and I've been constantly rejected for therapy. My bipolar diagnosis precludes me from the standard Talking Therapies on offer as my needs are 'too complex'. But I'm ironically seen as 'quite stable' on the surface as I'm not taking medication or under a Community Mental Health Team (only cos they discharged me back to the GP). So I've been relentlessly battling for some support and the Mental Health Practitioner at my GP surgery has been advocating for me as well, and now I am finally allowed to go on the list! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 So that will be another 3-6 months, but at least I know something is happening.

I'm seeing July as mid-year reset, and it's nice that the 1st falls on a Monday. I can sit down tonight and work out what I'm doing financially and get a plan together for the emergency fund and getting back on track. It'll also help me to focus and do my Sunday Summary as I've neglected that along with everything else lately... 😬.

PennysIntoPounds

Vicarious proud auntie here too 😁😊

The moths sound manky, you're not being unreasonable to be freaked out! 

Great that you're on the waiting list for some support

Keedie

The moths are definitely manky @PennysIntoPounds! Only seen two yesterday, and I've been at work since 08.30 so not sure about today. But yesterday, I saw one of them was in an obscure location in the communal hallway so I couldn't reach it to squash it. My neighbour always leaves her rubbish in the hallway outside my door for days at a time on some occassions, so I think they're going to be feasting on her bin bags. I need to remember to send a message to the group Whatsapp chat for our block today or tomorrow. Was meant to do it yesterday, but I had to help my mum with a flat pack coffee table and I was so tired afterward. The table wasn't even complex, it was just fiddly and my right shoulder was aching from trying to use the allan key and because my hands are weak, it wasn't even tight enough 😬. So it had to be redone 🤦🏾‍♀️.

I've not been able to do a thorough budget for July, as there's still a fair few things up in the air. But I think I've gotten it sorted for the most part. Financial goals wise, I've had a long hard think about that and I think being realistic with what I can actually do, whilst still pushing myself, has been more or less sorted in my head. I just need to run some numbers, and then I can feel confident that it's doable/sustainable.

My Barclaycard direct debit of £250 came out yesterday, as it was due on 29 June but that was on Saturday. I saved July's money for my son's 18th all in one go, so that was £50 top up and there's now £402.84 in there as it earned £0.43 interest. But under £100 to go, so still quite good target wise.

Cherryfudge

I wonder if the moths originally came via your neighbour's rubbish? Certainly having it out there won't help. It's a bit of a tricky situation.

You are very close to target on the 18th birthday money!

Keedie

To be honest @Cherryfudge, it never occurred to me that the moths could have come from outside my flat, but it's entirely possible. Especially as there are no flies hanging around in the communal hallway. There's only 2 flats per floor, and the rubbish outside mine often makes me sad, as it's not even my waste. And most of the time they don't seem to care that it bothers me, but recently she has been making more of an effort.

I paid £79.33 to Klarna today for the second installment of my car service. I've completely gone off the garage that I used to use. I paid them £30 as they told me that they fixed underneath my car, where the engine tray was loose. I noticed that it's hanging down again slightly and realised that all they did was put extra strong zip ties on! I wish I'd looked under the car when they did the MOT in April and seen it before I paid. Lesson learnt. But anyways, I went back to Halfords for the servicing and used Klarna to pay for it, as all my money got sucked up on other things last month. But at least, it's one more payment and then that's done. Then it's just the Argos card to obliterate and then I'm back to my only debt being Barclaycard. 

My first longer day at work yesterday was really draining, but I've been so tired anyways, that I just sucked it up. Can't wait until tomorrow though, as that will be the end of working week. It probably wasn't a smart idea to increase my hours in the first week of the month. As it is a busy week for me. I have my carers group this evening and my bipolar group on Friday evening. So I'll be extra worn out next week. 

But budget wise, I've finally worked it all out! I've got a plan from now until December 2024, and I will be able to put this into motion properly from August 2024. I just need to figure out which months are 4 weeks and which ones are 5 weeks, and write it all out neatly and I'm good to go. I've given up on tracking on the spreadsheet. It was incredibly useful and an eye opener to work out where I was going wrong and what my priorities were,but now that I know, I need to design a budget workbook template and stick to pen and paper. I figured that if I can make the template on Canva and it perfectly fits my needs, then I can just create what I need for one month. Then print it off 3 times and spiral bind it, so that I can a quarterly budget book. I'll have to finalise my designs etc by September, so that I can use it for quarter 4, October to December 2024. But it means that I can work on the loose printed versions for the next two months and tweak the designs as needed, so that I have what I need. Or if that isn't working, keep refining it and work on a monthly basis until next year. 

Keedie

The pest control guy came on Wednesday and reluctantly sprayed some more of whatever it is that they spray. He said he's coming back on 17 July, and the moths seems to be dwindling, so things are looking positive in that respect. We're both cautiously optimistic that we're at the end of the unwanted lodgers.

I've still not been tracking my expenses in July either, and it's felt more in control than it did in June. Having my Chase account and all of the sub accounts is helping me to stay more organised. I'm looking forward to being able to not be so paranoid about food shopping. I'm even looking forward to just getting some seasoning. So the food budget isn't going to be too great this month once I get to the point when our little hungry winged demons have moved on, as I'll be doing a massive restock. I still need to buy smaller airtight containers for when we're putting food in the cupboards and not in that large tub in the hallway.

I'm loving the Octopus smart meter I must say, as not having to remember to do the meter reading is nice. June was my first full month having both the gas and electricity on a smart meter and my electric was £37.11 and the gas was £13.42. So they knew what they were doing when they reduced my direct debit from £100 to £85. Because I have a flat, and we only have hot water on during the summer months, the usage is a lot lower, so I'll still be able to keep building credit for the winter months when I have to have the heating on constantly as the cold hurts my joints. I've got £315.54 in credit at the moment, and so I'm hoping that if the usage/bills are roughly similar in July and August, by the time we get to late September/October, I can have £400 credit to start the winter months with. That way I won't be too much in a negative balance by summer 2025.

I figured out the budget situation too, and that has made me feel a lot better. I've done a few online salary calculators and worked out what my approximate/average take home pay will be from December 2024 when I increase my hours to 28 per week (80% of full time). And I've done my whole monthly budget to fit into that projected take home salary (£2,175 a month) plus 4 weeks of child benefit (£100), for a total of £2,275. So the budget includes all bills, debt repayments, savings, food, travel, college expenses, spending money, setting money aside for Christmas, Eid, birthdays etc. 

Fixed Expenses (£1,500)
£1,150 = bills, rent, life insurance, car insurance etc
£250 = debt repayments (Barclaycard)
£100 = savings (£50 to Help to Save and £50 emergency fund)

Variable Expenses (£775)
£250 = food and household basics like washing up liquid, toothpaste etc
£150 = travel (petrol and son's travelcard)
£200 = son's spending money which is his child benefit that he's had as 'pocket money' since he was 13 and money for food and anything he needs for college
£75 = my spending money
£100 = sinking funds for Christmas/Eid, birthdays/celebrations, car maintenance, buffer for home expenses £5 a week per fund, so £25 a week in a 4 week month and £20 a week in a 5 week month

So from August 2024, I will be living off the equivalent of my projected wages from December 2024 onward plus child benefit. As I don't earn that much now, to have that amount to budget will be made up of my current wages, child benefit, PIP and universal credit. The total amount of all income and benefits at the moment, is just a little bit over over my new budget of £2,275, so I will keep the surplus set aside as a buffer. As I earn more in September when my hours increase, more of that budget will be earnings and less will be benefits. And that means that when I eventually get to the point where I actually earn that amount, I will be able to start using my PIP for things that I want or need, instead of rolling it all into my monthly income and keeping things afloat.

I've included the child benefit, as that's my son's spending money, and he's job hunting. So whatever he manages to earn, he'll still get the child benefit until he's no longer eligible to receive it. I've encouraged him to save some of his salary or allowance, so that he gets into better habits for budgeting and managing his money.

All of this also means that my savings will be lower, with the emergency fund dropping from £100 to £50 a month, but the debt repayments will remain at £250 for the Barclaycard. That way I can get the money transfer around December 2024/January 2025, so that I don't have to pay any interest, as I won't have cleared the amount I owe by 1 February 2025. The more of the debt I can get rid of myself, the less I need to money transfer and the quicker it all goes away. I'll also be able to then start seriously saving. But in the meantime, I will be focusing on having sinking funds for the main areas that I need, that are listed above.

I've done the whole budget based on a 5 week month, so when it's a 4 week month, I can use the 'extra' to fund my other sinking fund for streaming subscriptions as I need to pay these annually as it's cheaper, so that will cover my son's subscriptions like Playstation Plus, EA Access and Crunchyroll and Amazon Prime. When it's a 5 week month, the subscriptions won't be funded.

I just need to make some trackers now for my cash envelopes. Which is the fun and exciting part.. yay me.

Baileys_Babe

Well done working out a budget for when your pay and hours increase later in the year. My one takeaway is £200 per month for your son plus subscriptions seems a lot to me, neither of my children one a couple of years older and the other a couple of years younger get anything like this. Could you talk to him about reducing his subscriptions or him contributing something towards them or having some funded as a birthday or Christmas gift (by you or another gift giver) or a combination of all of these?

Keedie

Yes £200 is a lot @Baileys_Babe, but that's his pocket money (his child benefit) and his food money for college and to get anything he needs (which I sort out mainly). I don't know what his timetable will be in September when he goes back to college, but I budget £5 a day for food for him, so once I know what his timetable will be, I'll know what the true budget is.

Whether it's a 4 week month or a 5 week month, he still gets £100 personal allowance. Then the actual amount he gets on top of that depends on the number of days he's due in college.  If he's in 3 days a week, then it's £15 for food etc, as that £100 is based on 5 days at college a week over 4 weeks, but I seriously doubt that will be his timetable. So it will definitely be less than £100, and most months he's not in for 4 weeks, as there's a lot of holidays or study periods. He gets the allowance and food money as two different transactions on 1st of the month, and he puts his allowance into his Starling savings spaces, and his food money into different savings spaces, and then he manages himself over the course of the month. So if he has college 4 days a week that's £20 a week, and if he's in for 3 weeks in that month like he will be in September due to a late term start on 9 September, and in October due to the half term, then he'll get £60 for food and I'll just save the rest. So when there are half terms etc, he gets less as he's not going into college.

I keep it at £200 on my budget, so that it builds a surplus, and I used that to buy things like textbooks, or top up his Oyster card if he's going into central London, if he needs new pyjamas, underwear, clothes etc. Or for the summer holidays if we're doing anything specific as a family activity, or something comes up social wise for him that he hadn't budgeted for like one of his friends decided to go to a restaurant for his birthday last minute, so it all comes out of his budget buffer and not mine.

I have told him that the subscriptions needs to be managed when he's working. The Playstation Plus is £59.99 a year, EA Access is £35.99 a year and Crunchyroll is £4.99 a month, but I like to have the money for the Crunchyroll or things like that set aside for the year so that I don't have to think about it. I realised that reducing the allowance etc, to sort those things, just led to him always coming back for something and it was annoying and kept messing with my finances. So now, if there's nothing in this pot, then there's nothing I have to give him and he's been asking me for less since I give him everything upfront. As it's summer holidays now, I've given him £50 extra allowance for the month in July so that he doesn't bother me, and I'll do the same in August, and save the difference so that I can get whatever is needed when he starts back at college or needs something.

But I should probably rethink the subscriptions, so that he funds part of it from his allowance now that he's getting better with budgeting. Thanks for that insight, I'll have a think on things more...