The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

I had no clue moths could eat food either @beanielou. I just thought they were in the kitchen annoying me because we have a galley kitchen and it's always so warm that even in the winter we never put the heating on in the kitchen. I've been so creeped out by it all. 

I don't drink coffee @Cherryfudge, so I'd have nothing to save in that respect, but I do use pasta sauce, so I'll save some sauce jars. The pest guy fumigated the cupboards to kill any larvae, and said that the ones flying around are adults. But if after 14 days, I still see the moths (if they've not starved and died out), then I must call them back and they'll come out and do another fumigation. My son thinks we should just make them come back regardless. But he wasn't the one scouring the kitchen and redoing all the dishes with a dodgy shoulder, and rearranging cupboards. So unless it's necessary, I don't want to go through all of this again. 

And yes, I am very proud of him and all that he has achieved in the last two years. He's been working really hard as well. He's really come into his own and he has made some friends as college as he was so desperately lonely when he first started.

I forgot to say that I met with my Head of Service about the consultation and she said that there was no plans for my sub-team to be reviewed as we were already stretched and no roles would be cut. So that was reassuring. Also, she said that I can increase my working hours to 28 per week if I wanted to. I'm currently doing 18 hours a week, so I'm going to increase to 21 hours per week 2 July 2024, and then increase to 24 hours per week on 9 September when I back from my time off, and then increase to 28 hours per week on 2 December 2024.

Things are very up in the air financially at the moment, and I don't know what is going on with benefits, that current PIP consultation is scary. So I've redone my budget to be £150 lower than a combined value of my projected salary at 28 hours per week, plus PIP and child benefit. Then as I tackle the debt, and get some savings under me, I'll slowly reduce the budget, so that if I do lose my benefits, I've got a contingency in place to be able to manage it. From October 2024, my son's birthday will be out of the way, and my earnings in September 2024 will be higher, due to the next increase in working hours (as I live off the previous month's income. I'm still finalising this, but it will realistically work once the summer holidays have happened and I've paid for a few other things.

But savings wise, the £10 to the 18th birthday pot and the £20 to the emergency fund went through. Having them automated makes all the difference, to being consistent and developing good savings habits. 

beanielou

No need to worry about PIp at the moment. All hot air. 

KajiKita

Argh! So flipping frustrating (and stressful!) about the moths and the food loss. Huge sympathies.

Please do go to your son’s graduation. You deserve it. I suspect once he gets there, and all his mates’ parents are there, he would regret it if you weren’t, plus it will be a nice memory for you both. 

Good news about the restructuring not affecting your team, that must be a huge relief. I am impressed by the planning you have put into thinking about how to adapt to possible changes in PiP. I have no idea if they will happen (I sincerely hope they don’t) but I am always impressed by your strategic thinking 😊

KK

beanielou

If you don’t go to this graduation there will be others to come. 

CoffeeSonata

NOt much time, am reading. We had silverfish, and not much money to get all mason jars etc. Any jars will work, freecycle and ask for old jam jars/mason jars etc. 

My first response was a lazy way. A giant !!!!!! air-tight sealing storage container (not a food one, a plastic storage tub with a tight clip on lid.) Shove everything in your giant storage tub. You can put open packets into ziplock bags or another plastic bag for extra protection before putting inside your plastic tub.   Weight top if it helps you feel safer.  It helped us hugely until we could find more ongoing solutions and storage.  Also: many things can just be stored in the fridge even if they don't need to be and will be fine. Moths can't get in the fridge. We setill have a giant catch all tub in one of our cupboards. But when it was stupidly bad, I did just have it on the top or in the hall instead of also trying to worry about fitting a storage box into my cupboards. 

Gradually, I got mason jars and decent size dowe egberts jars and plastic food containers/glass pyrex type containers with lids. 

But first, you just need to protect the food and a big plastic container open packets goes in works for insects that aren't weevils! 

Cherryfudge

Good to hear your work team is safe and you have permission for a staged increase in hours. It's a good idea to take that in increments.

Just a thought - do chip shops still have those giant jars for pickled eggs, and if so, could you sweet-talk them into giving you some? They probably aren't as robust as Kilners or as bounceable as plastic tubs, but I think they would help for a while.

Cherryfudge

Missing you. I hope you're okay and the moths are gone?

Keedie

I've not been very well at all. Mentally or physically. Hence I've just disappeared...

The moths are still causing trouble @Cherryfudge, and I've called pest control to come back out and they were due today, but the engineer had a work related accident and so they've had to reschedule to Wednesday. I've become scared to eat, as my anxieties are sky high, and we've got food in containers in a large plastic tub (thanks for that advice @CoffeeSonata). My son keeps looking at me weird, as I think he thinks I'm losing my marbles, as he thinks going through two tubs to get snacks is weird. But I feel very on edge with these moths around, and I can't not buy food as it's not fair to my son, but I also can't eat anything at home. It's very distressing and I've found myself eating less and less, as I keep inspecting any food I do have. It's draining. But I found some food moth traps that have pheromones to trap the males. But from the internet rabbit hole that I've gone down, some people say not to do it and others say the traps are great. All I know is that I am on high alert, and as it gets warmer, there seems to be more of them. I've got to the point where I just avoid the kitchen.

But a good thing happened this week, my son graduated from college on Thursday, and I went to the ceremony and it was great fun. He was so proud and couldn't stop grinning when he got up on the stage with all the other kids that studied business. Typical teenager was grumbling last week about me going, about going himself, and whinged the night before when I saw his teacher's email about dressing smartly, yet he still put on his old school shirt and trousers (as we have no smart clothes for him as he's not needed anything for years). He was so miserable on the way there, but I recognised that as nerves. And when he saw how many parents were there, he was very grateful that I'd more or less forced myself into going. They had one of those inflatables that have the air in that look like they're dancing and they had a photo booth area, free popcorn and water and they had the performing arts and music students doing a band concert as we came in and then there were dancers performing. For each faculty area, the teachers did a nice congratulations video and thanked the students for their hard work and had a montage of their work over the last academic year. It was all really nice. And I spoke to his main tutor after the ceremony and he was singing my son's praises and I was so proud and smiling that my cheeks were hurting. He said that he was a pleasure to teach, worked exceptionally hard and brought a level maturity to the class and inspiring quality to his work. Never been so happy for teacher feedback. What a difference two years makes.

My round ups pot matured today. Had £245.31 in there and that went into my son's birthday savings. But that pot isn't what it should be at the moment as I used some of the money to put towards my son's bike. He got a second hand one from one of his friend and so I put £30 towards it and also got him some bits and pieces. So the pot only has £352.41 instead of the £425 it should have. But it was spent on my son, so that's not too bad. But I'll put the money back over the coming weeks. 

My emergency fund is at an embarrassing £0 though 😬🤦🏾‍♀️. So many unexpected personal and family expenses, and replacing all the food that I threw away because of the moths. And I've been eating food that is not in the house, or I can't eat at all at the moment. And I brought some moth traps and the storage container. It's been an expensive few weeks. But things will pick back up. As the £20 a week will continue and will kick in from Monday and the emergency fund will be rebuilt.

I definitely need to sit down and rework my budget. I've made a few dodgy financial decisions, which was part bipolar and part paranoia about the moths (like throwing away my toaster and nutribullet because of crumbs in the toaster and stuff weird red stuff on the nutribullet). We don't have a microwave either, as the location of the microwave seems to be near where I keep seeing them. I feel bad for my son as he's having to deal with the moths and my paranoia, but I just can't help it. I feel physically sick to eat in the house and I'm scared to go in the kitchen. He said I'm experiencing trauma, as he caught me picking through my chicken chow mein that I got from the Chinese take away around the corner and I couldn't finish eating it. So I threw it away. We're going through so many bin bags at the moment and he's put the bin on the balcony, as he could see that I was getting freaked out by food being in the bin in the kitchen 🥺. I wish I could fix my brain and turn all of this off, but it's just such a painful and pitiful existence and I can't do that. 

And now I have no emergency fund, I'm barely eating or sleeping and I've increased my hours at work out of necessity and that starts on Tuesday and a part of me is already regretting it... But it should hopefully get better. You know, the only way is up and all of that 😬.

KajiKita

Oh hun, I’m so sorry you are still battling the poxy moths (looks on them with a Paddington Hard Stare and a cease and desist tone!). I’m not surprised you have been feeling a bit paranoid about it - I think most people would. Monday, get on the phone and INSIST that someone comes and does the second treatment! 

So lovely to hear that the graduation went so well and your son was glad to have you there. Really lovely feedback from his tutor too - you must be so proud 😊 ❤️👏 Please pass on my congratulations from a vicarious auntie here too 😉😊

Tuesday will be worth it. Dig in and get it done. 

KK

Cherryfudge

I'm so pleased you went to the graduation and heard how well your son has done. Congratulations to him! You must be immensely proud.

That's horrible about the moths, though. I can understand you not wanting to eat while you're at home. Are you still driving for your sister? Perhaps you could have some food there? And check with the fumigation people whether there might be an infestation at another flat that's affecting yours or if there's anything else they can recommend.

It won't last forever: I'm sure the weather affects how fast these things multiply and when they can't eat at yours they will inevitably have to go elsewhere.

And the EF was for emergencies, which is where it was used and served its purpose. It will build up again.