The Mental Debt Struggle...

beanielou

Your totals are looking amazing. 

How far you have come. 

Be proud. 

~FlowerPot~

Morning Keedie,

Im sorry to hear the GCSE results were not as good as you both hoped. They did mark them harder this year and it has affected so many students. It was the same with the A levels. I think its really unfair as Covid still hugely effected these students. However, I suspect with what you say about getting into his first choice college on a level 2 course will suit him better, even though he doing some retakes. The level 3 course may well have been a bit of a step too far with him not being in a school / college environment. It sounds like now the course is settled you can both look back and reflect on his acheivements and be proud. Well done. Getting him even to the point of taking his GCSEs was massive!

With my DD we currently have 2 options county finally pulled their finger out and somehow out of thin air a place appeared, a fully funded private and agreed place at a farm therpay assisted place. BUT 1. its 40 odd minutes away and trying to sort out transport is a bit of a joke and 2. she wants to get some GCSEs  and they are more into sroking animals all day! However, I do think she would get enormous benefit from going and getting out of the house very day. The second option is a local home eduacation centre which we have signed up to study 4 GSCEs. BUT (theres always a but!!) this seems the better option because she wants to study, but we tried this place before and it didnt work and also it will be alot of pressure to sit exams next year when she hasnt been in school or learning for years. PLus it also means me paying for it all and driving here there every day and setting work for the rest of the week to build up her standard. PLUS to get into the college she wants she will need 5 GCSEs, So we still need to find another course to do! Theres no doubt this situation is incedibly stressfull!!

You finances are all looking good Keedie, Although it might now take longer to pay down the debt, you do seem to have a very good grasp of it and a very clear vision which will hold you steady as the figures continue to come down. And well done for putting you first regarding your work situation.

Flowers x

LittleMissDetermined

Hi Keedie, just catching up on diaries. I'm pleased your son managed to get his first choice and I know the travel will be expensive but hopefully you can make it work.  Your finance update shows just how far you have come already so you should be so proud of what you've achieved, especially in this economic climate. 
LMD x

AntoMac

Very well done on getting past the 50 per cent mark Keedie. Reducing the amounts of a couple of your regular payments is a very sensible way to go.

Your son got a college place so you and him should both be really proud of your joint effort.
@~FlowerPot~
I have had lots of challenges with my own daughter so I can relate. Sometimes it seems like 1 step forward, 2 steps back doesn’t it! Keep being the best parent that you can be

Makingabobor2

I'm sure once your son starts college and gets back with his friends, everything will settle down. The travel pass is astronomical isn't it? My DD has twin boys at senior school and the cost of buses is just ridiculous these days. TBH, I think all kids should get free travel. 
Your budgets are all looking good. I think you're doing a grand job and should be proud of yourself. x

Cherryfudge

I'm so pleased you have a clear run through to the end of October. Undoubtedly taking the pressure off is massively helpful. I'm delighted your Occupational Health has reduced the weekly manager meetings too. You need time to get better and sometimes managers just don't get it.

I've had similar GP and Occ. Health backup and it makes a huge difference, though I've not had a problem with my line manager. The union has been really good, too. I've now asked to be redeployed, which gives me a higher likelihood of interview and the reassurance of not having to go back.

It's great that your son got his first choice of college, does he start today? The cost of transport for him is eye-watering, but you will find a way. Perhaps another £15 off your reduced payments would bridge the gap while you're off work? I know that slows the rate of repayment more, but it would also reduce stress which would help your recovery. You could always start a small 'repayment pot' with tilly-tidied amounts to go to your Mum (who sounds such a nice person! As a Mum yourself you know we mums go on being mums even when kids grow up. We still want to help them).

On the subject of stress, both my husband and I reduced our hours and it's meant we still get the benefits of working but with less toll on our health (we've both got 'invisible' conditions). It's a bit of a guessing game: I went from 30 hours to 25, which turned out to be much more manageable until there was pressure from work to fill in with more hours. DH went from full time plus an hour's commute several days a week to 21 hours and a short cycle ride, which suits him perfectly. Our children have grown up and we've paid off the mortgage, so two big costs didn't have to be taken into consideration. We don't have as much money for things like holidays or house maintenance, and we have to do more for ourselves rather than buy in services, but it's been so worth it in terms of of well-being.

Anyway, that's what's worked for us and you will find your way through your own situation. And you will, you're on the way there already. I do find reading your diary very helpful, as you've come up with some objective analysis that's helped me look at my own position differently. 

Keedie

I've been a bit of a recluse in the last couple of days as I've felt so tired and so I have been lying down as much as possible. I only had the energy for a couple of things, so I decided to not bother with the creative writing on Monday afternoon so that I was able to do the Optimising Your Sleep short course. I figured the creative writing happens weekly so I can catch it at any time, but the sleep one was a one-off. So it worked out better doing things that way.

I went to my course outline for the Healthy Eating on a Budget course, which turned into something else entirely so I am a bit confused now. The college website said it was a Level 1 course, but today they told me it was a Level 2 course and 3 courses in one as the Healthy Eating on a Budget was one of two Level 1 courses, plus you study for the Level 2 Certificate in Understanding Nutrition and Health. I dunno if I can handle all of that right about now, but there is time to figure it out. I find it very difficult to concentrate and trying to do a whole day of learning and stuff is going to be a bit much. But I would like to learn more and so we'll see. I might go back on Friday to enrol. If being on half pay I qualify for the fee exemption, then I will most likely do it, but if I have to pay £180 then there's fat chance of that taking place, so we'll see...

Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement regarding my debt repayments, it really is encouraging and makes me feel a lot better about the fact that things are slowing down for the foreseeable future. When I am eventually in a position where I can return to work, I would like to work 17.5 hours a week, so essentially 50% of full time, as I was (unsuccessfully) doing 28 hours a week (80% of full time) and it did me no real favours. It is quite the balancing act isn't it @Cherryfudge? I hope that via redeployment you'll have something that suits you better and still allows you to work reduced hours and have a work/life balance.

I find that my anxieties around work are still really high and impacting my ability to shut off mentally and sleep. Even with the medication, things are still intense and draining, so going back and doing the least amount of hours that are financially viable, will make all the difference. My manager hinted that I need to get back to work soon as they're starting to look at job roles and there may be a restructure. I really don't need that hanging over my head and told her, if that turns out to be the case, I'll just deal with it. But my sister is getting worried on my behalf and thinking they'll deliberately get rid of me and said I should join the Union to protect myself, so that's an admin task for this week.

I was a bit annoyed with TfL, as they've cancelled my son's 11-15 zip oyster card which is meant to expire on 30 September, as I had applied for the 16+ oyster card in preparation for when it runs out. So today, he had no working oyster card to get to college and was a bit anxious about everything already, so I found myself driving him 45 minutes to his college. He'll take the train back with his friends, as he finishes at 5pm and they finish at 4pm, but said that they will wait for him to finish. But I'm stuck paying adult fare as the new 16+ oyster card hasn't arrived and they've deactivated the 11-15 one early. I admittedly don't always fully read or absorb the small print for these things, but I really thought the oyster card was valid until the stated end date. I didn't realise buying the new one invalidated the other one, otherwise I would have upgraded earlier than last week so that it was ready for this week.

But the prices are astronomical @makingabobor2, and as they include PIP in the bursary eligibility household alongisde the universal credit for total household income, the only way I'll get any assistance is if I didn't work and had no salary. I accounted for no assistance in September and so I banked all my £2 coins to pay for his monthly travelcard, but I need to readjust everything from October as it will be based on my lower income in September 2023. It'll come together though. It always does, it's just sometimes a bit difficult but it never stays that way for long. As after all, the saying goes, "This Too Shall Pass". That's what I hold onto when things feel really sh*tty. It won't be bad forever. 

I think it's great that your daughter has options @~flowerpot~, even though neither solution is the perfect fix in actuality. As 4 GCSEs or even 5 GCSEs crammed into one year after years of being out of education is a lot to manage, is it possible to do farm therapy so that she's got the routine and can work towards maintaining that independence and structure and do one of the two core GCSEs, like maths or english language plus another one she'll enjoy, then do the remainder of the GCSEs next year? This academic year just gone with my son trying to do 6 in one year through hybrid learning, and then not doing very well made me realise that it's not so much about getting the GCSEs at the timings of a 'standard' or 'normal' route. He's still doing retakes this year alongside his Level 2 course, so he'll be year behind his peers anyway, and it really is the best thing for him. He needed last year to try and do what he could and I'm proud he sat all of them, as I didn't think he'd sit any at all this time last year. Now he's more likely to focus on what he needs to do. Is the farm therapy course equivalent to any GCSEs or a Level 1 course? It might be worth speaking to any colleges you might want her to go to next year, to see how flexible they are in terms of GCSEs. I'm still in the mental health whatsapp group for my son's online school that he did last year, and some kids performed well and others were also scrambling for a place. But for a lot of them, they didn't sit enough GCSEs or their grades weren't as expected and they were still able to secure places at college. Whilst enrolment and admissions are still taking place across all colleges, it might be worth contacting them to see where their hard line is, and then it might help with the decisions for what she does this academic year? One of the girls at my son's face to face home education college did maths, science and english language and she did not have the number of GCSEs to sit a Level 2 this year, but they still let her in as she was homeschooled and so they took that into consideration. The Level 2 course at that college will then be worth 4 GCSEs in its own right, and that will give her enough GCSEs to get onto a Level 3 course or to perhaps pursue A Levels. There's many ways to skin a cat, and getting teenagers engaged and invested in their future, in whatever social or academic set up possible, is the majority of the battle really.

Keedie

Oh, I completely forgot to say that I cleared the Mobile Madness pot, and paid £291.25 to clear my son's handset with Sky Mobile, so I am now down to 2 creditors - my mum and Barclaycard - and it's very exciting. Seeing my phone bills drop down to £23.04 was rather exciting, even if it means that I need to get a life 😂.

I've started a Debt Buster Pot for things like Chase cashback (of which I'll be getting £2.91 for paying off the handset as a card purchase), any survey money and when my siblings repay me, I'll put all of that into a pot and then for every £250 I accumulate, I'll make an additional payment to my mum. If it takes too long to reach the first £100, then I'll adjust the target from £250 to £100 or £150 so that I can feel like I'm still moving in the right direction 🤗. There's £10.40 in there so far, so a little ways to go, but I'll keep plodding on...

Makingabobor2

Like the idea of a debt buster pot. I've been reading up on Chase, but never banked with them before. What do you think of them? 

beanielou

Great news on 2 creditors.