The Mental Debt Struggle...

AntoMac

Well done Keedie. Things really going in the right direction for you at the moment. Long May it continue 

LittleMissDetermined

You're doing so well Keedie, your diary has prompted me to check my state pension and it all seems OK. It does say I only need to work 1 more year though so I'm not sure that bit is right... My retirement date is March 2046  

Keedie

Thank you all for your encouragement, having a diary has really helped me to keep going so thank you.

@LittleMissDetermined, I reckon the number of years is based on a total number that we need to have contributed for? In 14 years I'll be 55, and I think once I reach that point of contributions I'm guaranteed the maximum state pension. But of course I can't retire at 55 and get my state pension as they hold it ransom until I'm 68! So we have to keep working.

My employer pensions are not great as they're mainly based on part time earnings, so I do need to think about how to get some decent savings going. I'm too much of a chicken to do stocks and shares as I know I would freak out whenever the value drops 😂. My friend really got into so kind of cryptocurrency and kept telling me to do it too, but I didn't have any spare money for that last year and she doesn't seem to have been badly stung, so maybe I'm just being paranoid for no reason.

My penny challenge is coming along though. I couldn't stick to the year long one, so I created my own one that goes up to £0.99 and that saves £49.50 and with some £0.10 bonus markers, it becomes £50. So I'm plodding along with that and managed to cross of £2.96 today. Filling up a smaller tracker is a lot more motivating than trying to deal with a mammoth list of numbers that feels like I'm not really getting anywhere.

~FlowerPot~

hello, hope you are ok? How is your son feeling baout his results? My DS2 will be getting his Alevels on thursday and is getting nervous!

Flowers x

Keedie

Hi @~FlowerPot~, thanks for checking in on me. I've been really struggling at the moment as I am experiencing a mixed state bipolar episode (I'm both hypomanic and depressed simultaneously essentially) and it has left me very depleted and impacted my sleep. I've been using all my MSE forum energy to be the counter upper for the Payment a Day thread, so I've not given my own diary much thought. 

I'll keep my fingers crossed for your son this Thursday, it's such a daunting time isn't it? It didn't occur to me that my parents would have been worried for me and my results, but as a parent now, I am getting nervous on my son's behalf. When I was getting my A Level results, I remember not sleeping the whole night before as I was scared that I would have failed everything and wouldn't get into uni. That obviously wasn't the case, but even though I didn't do as well as hoped at the time, it didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. So I hope your son knows that his results don't determine his worth or the trajectory of his life/future success.

My son is starting to get anxious about his results next week, but we've been more focussed on the college environment he'll go into as he's been out of mainstream education for a year. So I've tried to distract him by concentrating on the things he'll need for college, like his special pens, what types of folders he wants and notebooks etc. So that whatever happens on results day, he'll at least have a lot of the prep for college sorted.

I need to update child benefit and universal credit once I know what college he's going to and if he is on a one year Level 2 course or a two year Level 3 course, as both the child benefit and child element of universal credit will cease on 31 August unless I confirm his plans from September. As everything is all over the place, I've not filmed in the forms as yet, so I will do this once we enrol him at a college next Thursday.

I also realised that I celebrated too early with thinking I was under £11k 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️! I'd updated my spreadsheet to see where I would be in a couple of months once my income goes down and whether or not I could reduce the Barclaycard direct debit. But I forgot to revert it back to my actual payments, so my little cocktail win was a bit on the premature side 😂. Oh well. 

I'm at 49.02% of my debt gone since August 2022, and I'll be at 50% once my Barclaycard payment comes out at the end of this month, so that will be a cause for (genuine) celebration.

beanielou

Sorry to read that things are hard.
Keep plodding xx

~FlowerPot~

Hi, Im sorry to hear your having a hard time at the moment, I hate it when I cant sleep, I generally feel I can cope with most things if I get a full nights sleep. Last night I was awake at 4.30am after the dog woke me to let him out and then I listened to DH snoring and couldnt sleep!!

DS2 is getting more worried by the day, thankfully we're nearly there now! I remeber my mum picked up my Alevel results and I also didnt do as well as I had hoped, but it was enough to get into the uni I wanted so thats all the matters really!

Take care

Flowers x

Keedie

Thanks beanielou and FlowerPot. The lack of sleep is really affecting me and last week I broke down in tears at my appointment with the Mental Health Practitioner. I've been put on sleeping tablets which helped for one night but then I couldn't sleep at all the following night!

I've got a meeting with my manager on Friday and with occupational health on Tuesday next week. I'm still trying to get myself sorted so I won't be able to return when my fit note ends on 31 August, so I'll be asking the doctor next week for an extension. 

@~FlowerPot~ I hope your son isn't too anxious and fingers crossed for him on Thursday.

beanielou

What I find with the tablets I take to help me sleep is that I need to take them about 4 hours before I go to bed. It was trial & error at the beginning. 

Keep plodding xx

Keedie

Thanks @beanielou, that's a good tip. They gave me promethazine and told me to take it by 8.30/9pm at that latest. But I kept forgetting so I'd remember when it was too late and didn't sleep the whole night. I went to Tesco to buy a Vileda mop as they had it on offer, and by the time I got back and remembered it was 11pm so I couldn't take it and I didn't sleep until nearly 3am and I was awake by 6.45am. So I'm running on fumes at the moment.

But I've got one of my mental health courses at the Recovery College that's called Optimising Sleep on 5 September, so hopefully I'll pick up some good tips there as well.