The Mental Debt Struggle...

~FlowerPot~

How was your holiday? I hope you had a wonderful time x

Keedie

Well it's been a proper hot minute since I've been on the forum and it all looks so swanky and different!

I had a great holiday thanks @~FlowerPot~, @AntoMac, @LittleMissDetermined, @Sun_Addict and @Debsnewbudget (apologies if I've missed anyone). The hotel was absolutely beautiful and we made the most of the all inclusive and 24 hour meals (my son more so than me!), the pool, the evening entertainment and the water park and theme park. 




We also went to the Green Canyon, which my son said was "the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life!", and I wholeheartedly agree.




And he got on his quad bike, so he was super happy! I was sore for days after this, but it was a nice activity to do and the scenery was breathtaking. I got put in the slow group at the back though, as my driving wasn't quite up to scratch, and he found this hilarious as he was in the fast/normal group. Apparently, this proves that he's a better driver than me... 😏.



My son has given me so many hugs, kisses and thank yous that I can't even count! He told me that it's the best holiday he has ever been on and he was so touched that I was able to do this for him. He kept asking me how I was able to pull it off, and I told him not to worry about that, and to just work hard so that he can one day treat his kids to a nice holiday. He said when he's a successful business man, he'll be taking me on an all inclusive holiday, so that will be nice 😁.

I made a few financial errors though, as I took money out of the cashpoint and charged it in GBP instead of Turkish Lira (paid a whopping charge on that before I realised that I should have done the charge in Lira 🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️🤦🏾‍♀️). I also should have used my Chase account when making card purchases instead of Monzo as the slight difference in exchange rate (negligible in the grand scheme of things), wasn't enough of a deterrent. As I realised (or remembered, I'm not sure which), at the end of the holiday that I would have got cashback on my purchases. Oops! 

But my biggest mistake was packing too much clothes to begin with! I completely underestimated the quality of the genuine fakes that were on sale. But I brought a fake Nike and fake Adidas tracksuit and a fake Tommy Hilfiger jumper. I was so excited, as I have always wanted to have nice tracksuits since I was in Year 7, and I've never treated myself, but my son always gets nice things from me. He told me that he's proud of me for doing something for myself, and that I should be kinder to myself as I've got the kindest heart and soul that he knows in a person, and that he aspires to be like me. I was so touched ❤️.

We've been given our annual pay award early, effective from 1 May instead of 1 August, so apparently we're getting salary arrears in our July 2023 pay on Monday. My manager said that my half pay kicks in during September 2023 and not August 2023, so I am a bit confused by why the month changed. But if it means that I have another month at normal pay, at the higher rate because of the pay rise, then I am not complaining! As I live on the previous month's income, that normal salary in August will make the transition to college and travel expenses in September easier to manage.

I'm really worried about the increase in costs, with the travel card and meals for college and I've not actually put aside any money for any of this. And my income will be going down in September, so October will be a bit dicey...

But, I have managed to get my emergency fund to £625 so that makes me feel a bit better. I've also worked out that I can definitely pay off both phones before the end of December 2023. And I will have saved for all of my entertainment subscriptions by then, so that I will be able pay for things like Amazon Prime and Disney+ on an annual basis. So my monthly bills and outgoings will drop in January 2024, and I'll be back to work by then (albeit on reduced hours). So that's a silver lining. 

Four_Seasons

Lovely to have you back. Your holiday sounds amazing. Hugs x

Cherryfudge

It looks really wonderful Keedie! Roll on that holiday your son wants to take you on!

Keedie

Thanks @Four_Seasons and @Cherryfudge, it really was good to just get away. And yes, I will be looking forward to my son taking me on holiday 😂.

We both feel like we've turned a corner, and it was the perfect finale for a really sh*t year. I had time to really think about what I want to do with my life, and what makes me happy. I want to go back to working in the charity sector, and I won't be doing HR as I'll be glad to see the back of that type of work.

And whilst I was away, I was able to work out how many hours per week at work will give me the best mental and physical balance, whilst being in that financial sweet spot. So when I am ready to return to work, I'll ask if I can reduce to 21 hours a week over 3 days. Then once I've been back at work for 6 months, and I know I can handle the demands of work and I am ready for a change, I'll be in a better position to start job hunting...

Debsnewbudget

the holiday sounds fantastic, its also sounds like its given you both the thinking space needed to come back refreshed and ready to take on the next chapters of your lives.

jokono

The holiday looks amazing and your son is growing into a wonderful kind man, you must be so proud.

I am delurking to suggest using a club lloyds account to get free disney plus. I think their switching incentive has just been pulled out, they were offering £200, maybe it will come back soon. The account has a £3 fee but thats cancelled if you put £2k in iver the month. Doesn't have to be in one go and you can transfer it back immediately. A bit of work but might be worth it?

Makingabobor2

Wow, what amazing photos, thankyou for sharing them. You will keep those memories forever and it has done you the power of good by the sound of it. You sound so much more relaxed now and ready for making your future, how you want it to be. I'm so pleased it all turned out well and your son enjoyed it as well. x

LittleMissDetermined

So pleased you both had an amazing holiday and it seems to have been a bit of a game changer in terms of mindset. Photos are fab, I'm very jealous!
LMD x

~FlowerPot~

So pleased you both had an amazing tiime, sounds like it did you both the word of good.

love Flowers x