The Mental Debt Struggle...

beanielou

Happy holidays when they come 

Keedie

Thanks @beanielou. I've got almost everything sorted out, I just need to get his sunglasses and one or two summer dresses for me tomorrow when I go back to central London and Primark. 

My course went well today, but two ladies just kept talking without actually listening to the facilitator and one was very anti-NHS which I found really annoying. Especially considering that we were at a free course provided by an NHS Trust 🙄. I found myself checking out and the facilitators didn't correct either of them so I didn't feel it was my place to say anything.

But I picked up some good tips and a lot of information that will help me with my recovery. And going there really helped me to feel better about taking the proper time to recover before returning to work, as they were telling us about the impact of limited recovery and how this ends up compounding stress to the point where it becomes chronic and has adverse physical and psychological outcomes. 

I also realised that I am not where I thought I was in my recovery, and that is okay, I just need to take things at a more realistic pace. I got the start time of the course wrong, so I had 40 minutes to spare, and I sat and did a reduced budget to get ahead of my anticipated drop in income, now that I have an understanding of the type of hours I may work and what the salary would be. We're due an annual salary review on 1 August, so the salary rate will increase. But I don't know what the proposed figures are as I am not in the office, so I have done my provisional budget based upon the current salary rates and any difference can be treated as a miscellaneous/contingency.

Sun_Addict

Boo to DS’s dad not coughing up the spending money. Hopefully he will 🤞

Have an absolutely amazing holiday and hope you get plenty of much deserved relaxation time. 

Keedie

Thanks @Sun_Addict, I'm so excited for a break and I've told my son, there may be days when he thinks I'm just plain old boring as I won't be up to much at all 😂. He said he'll most likely be the same, so we'll be two peas in a pod in that regard. He's worked exceptionally hard, so he deserves to just chill out for a bit. 

And yeah, we never heard back from his dad, so we'll just have less spending money as I spent more on getting clothes etc than I budgeted for, but that's okay. That's just life. It's a lesson not to be vulnerable and put us in a position where we're reliant on previously unreliable people. Fool me once, shame on you, fool me a hundred times... well, that's on me.

I'm going to just focus on getting mentally better, being in a position to be able to hold down a job and getting my son prepared for the next stage in life as he starts to look for part time jobs and gets ready for college.

Four_Seasons

Hi Keedie, have a brilliant holiday you have done so well x

AntoMac

First and foremost Keedie, focus on having a great holiday. You both really deserve it. You’ve both been through some tough times. Time to unwind a little

Keedie

June 2023 Financial Summary

Starting Balance = £13,084.13 | Amount Repaid = £650.88 (2.88%) | Closing Balance = £12,433.25
Total Repaid to Date = £10,140.05 (44.92%)

Bank of Mum 3 (school fees)
Starting Balance = £2,950 | Amount Repaid = £100 (3.39% repaid) | Closing Balance = £2,850 | Total Repaid to Date= £1,950 (40.63% repaid)
I was going to increase this to £175 a month from November 2023, but I have spoken with my mum and I will continue to pay this at £100 a month. As I'm going into half pay in August 2023, I want to keep my fixed outgoings as low as possible, as I'm going into half pay soon and then reducing my hours when I do return to work. My mum said that I always pay her, so she's not fussed about not increasing it and that she didn't that of me. So I don't feel so bad about things taking a little longer to repay.

Barclaycard
Starting Balance = £9,150 | Amount Repaid = £300 (3.28% repaid) | Closing Balance = £8,850 | Total Repaid to Date = £3,246.23 (26.84% repaid)
The dust has settled on the balance transfer, so it'll be £300 a month until August 2023, then I will reduce this to £250 a month from September 2023. That will be just over minimum payment, and when I get settled back into work and have more disposable income, I can may increase it back to £300, depending on my income at that time.

Creation
Starting Balance = £290.68 | Amount Repaid = £218.01 (75%% repaid) | Closing Balance = £72.67 | Total Repaid to Date = £997.33 (93.21% repaid)
I made another overpayment of £145.34 and so I'm super excited because my direct debit on 2 July 2023 will be the last one. so at my monthly summary for July 2023, I'll be able to say that I'm down to 3 creditors! This is one of the debts that I have zero regrets over taking out. Our mattresses have made such a difference to our rooms being our sanctuaries. But I'll still be eager to see the back of it 🤗.

Sky Mobile
Starting Balance = £693.45 | Amount Repaid = £32.87 (4.74% repaid) | Closing Balance = £660.58 | Total Repaid to Date = £345.45 (34.34% repaid)
My Mobile Madness pot is still ticking along nicely, so that I can get debt/savings neutral for Phone A (my phone) so that I just have one phone left to pay for and my direct debit can go down. Phone A will be repaid at some point in 2023, and then via surveys and debt repayments from people that owe me money. The pot has £86.89/£254.60 so far, and it'll steadily reach the target and I can get rid of this creditor by April 2024.

Debt Free 2023 Target = £6,000
Amount Repaid = £3,439.63/£6,000 (46.48% cleared)

Debt Reflection vs Savings Focus

Last month I was approaching 50% of this year's debt free target and this month I'm nearing 60%. So proud of that. Things will slow down when my debt repayments lower later in the year, but for now, I'm enjoying the progress. My income is going to be lower from August 2023, firstly as I move into half sick pay and then when I eventually return to work and I am working reduced hours. So I need a better handle on my finances and a better balance, and I've decided that debt repayments will take a back seat. I need to build up savings and sinking funds so that life is more manageable.

Things are changing. For starters, my son will be going to college and losing his free and heavily discounted travel and depending on where he goes to college, the travelcard will be anywhere from £78 to £143 a month. And with no bursary, and no more free school/college meals. My expenses are going to increase as my income is going down, so the game plan needs to change...

1. Freely Debt Saving = £36.77/£1,000 (3.67% saved) ~ target date of 27 December 2023
I more or less drained this fund so that I could pay off the Creation. But the £1,000 target seems far away considering upcoming escalating costs. But I'm going to give it my best shot. Whatever surplus money I have will go into this pot plus the money that my sister owes me. When I get used to my new reduced income, I'll be able to round down my budget to the nearest £25 and chuck the rest into this pot.

2. Emergency Fund = £512.58/£1,000 (51.26% saved) ~ target date of 31 December 2023
The 5% round-ups account with Chase ended yesterday on 29 June 2023, and it was £222.18 and so that bumped up the total and it is now over 50% to my £1,000 target. This will remain at £100 a month until August 2023, and will drop to £75 a month from September 2023, and I will still be able to make my target. 

3. Build a Buffer = £62.24/£500 (12.45% saved) ~ no target date but 30 June 2024 would be nice
I've pushed back my 'would be nice' date back from 31 December 2023 to 31 March 2024, as I don't want to have any pressure on me to reach my target. As this is my first line of defence as a short term emergency fund/self funded overdraft of sorts, it needs to be built steadily so that I just have the cushion there. That way if something comes up, I have this as back up and then replenish it back to £500. When this is in place, I'll move onto a One Month Ahead fund.

I'm starting to acknowledge and fully accept my limitations mentally and physically and adjusting my lifestyle and finances to meet that, rather than pushing myself to meet an ideal that I can't realistically maintain. I still don't know what the future looks like yet, but I figured some rest and relaxation on holiday will help me to figure it all out.

Keedie

Thanks @Four_Seasons and @AntoMac. It has been a brutal but uplifting year, filled with a lot of stress and setbacks, but ultimately has tendrils of hope for a better future. And that starts with proper self care for myself, so that I can have a better balance and be as mentally, physically and financially healthy as I can be. And that I can teach my son the same. 

I can't wait for a break. This holiday has been keeping us both going when times have been tough. I even brought some pool shoes to strut around in 😂.

Makingabobor2

It seems to me that you are doing really well. You know what you want and what you need to do to achieve it, including the holiday, self care etc and not just paying debts etc.  You are fully focused on all your finances and doing a review each month is obviously helping....maybe I need to take a leaf out of your book and do the same.  Your son hopefully realises what a great mum he has and you should likewise be proud of the young man he seems to be becoming. 

~FlowerPot~

popping on to say hi!

and wanting to wish you and your son a super holiday.

I have been following you for a while and love how honest and open you are about your struggles and just how much you have achieved. You really are very inspring and how you are so determined to get out of debtxx

Although ive not read your diary from the beginning, I saw how you have had to help your son with tutoring to get him through his GCSEs. My DD is currently yr10 but has not attended school for years now and has just 2 hours a week paid tutor. Next year she should be yr 11 and taking gcses. But she is unlikely to get a place in a school anytime soon. I thought of you as Ive been looking into the online offerings. Previously she has refused to try them, but I think desperation has set in now!

(((hugs))) flowers x