The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

Yeah it did sting @AntoMac, I won't lie, but I know that NHS resources are limited. And one of the reasons given for this latest rejection is that I'd had therapy recently. It's just a shame, as they discharged me from my Community Mental Health Team when I was starting to become very unwell, and my therapy stopped as my allocate sessions ended, not because I didn't need the help. But because they were upholding a decision that they had already made, to discharge me, I was released nonetheless. They said I can be re-referred if I needed more help, but both avenues that were supposedly available to me, have both rejected me. I need to save up and get therapy myself, as the low cost therapy seems to apply for incomes lower than mine.

Just like the college bursary for my son is for lower incomes than mine, so he won't get that. But I worked out that the travel is £80 a month and around £15-20 a week for lunches and stuff. So that's part of why I have completely slashed my budget in the coming months, so that I can build a little surplus to help me out when September rolls around. 

I'm half tempted to push back the increase in payment to my mum from £100 to £175 which was going to happen in November 2023 move it back to January 2024, and use that extra £75 to get rid of at least one mobile. I'll see what I manage to accumulate with the Freely Debt Savings and I will continue to save up the Mobile Madness pot, but, I think if I get rid of one phone plan with the Debt portion of that pot, my bill will drop and I can save quicker to get rid of the other one. But it'll also take the pressure off,  I need to reduce my overall fixed expenses, and get into a position whereby the overpayments become optional, and are not part of my monthly expenditure. 

With all the barriers to therapy and just struggling in general, it's starting to look increasingly likely that I will enter half sick pay. So I'm becoming ruthless in my budget and gaining more confidence that I can actually stick to it properly. That's why I've been designing my own budget and finance planner, as I need something that fits with my brain and way of doing things and I've not found anything so far that fits. I've found that realistic small savings challenges and a mix of monthly and weekly budgeting works best for me.

AntoMac

I like the idea of delaying upping the repayments to your Mum Keedie. You know she will understand and she can see that you have been regularly repaying her anyway. To have one of your mobiles fully paid off will be one more weight off your mind. 

beanielou

Good idea to delay payments to your mum.

Keedie

Yes I think I'll definitely speak to my mum. She asked me if I was really sure when I offered to increase what I paid her from £50 to £100 and didn't understand why I was further increasing it to £175. But I just want the debt gone. She's a pensioner and it makes me guilty and uneasy to owe her money. But on balance, getting rid of one phone plan and reducing my fixed expenses is too important to pass up, as I need less debts hanging over my head. She always tells me that I repay her and she is not worried about the debt, and it was for a great cause, and that she is grateful that I take the debt so seriously.

I've just gone for it and took £145.34 out of the Freely Debt Savings pot now, and that means my direct debit on 2 July 2023 for Creation will be the last one. It'll be nice to go on holiday knowing that I have cleared another debt. I can then start saving £75 a month plus phones from August 2023, plus whatever my brother repays me and put that in the Mobile Madness pot. That means I can actually clear both phones by December 2023 with some survey money and cashback thrown in. It would be great to start 2024 with only 2 creditors, and knowing that 50% of whatever I accumulate with the Freely Debt Savings pot after it recovers from this initial hit, will go as a lump sum towards my mum anyways. So now, I don't feel so bad about partially repurposing it ahead of my intended timeframe in December 2023.

Thanks @AntoMac and @beanielou for helping me to see that it's okay to do that. I do feel a lot better now and it means that I have a nice PAD to declare too 🤗.

Keedie

My £150 disability cost of living payment came through yesterday and I put £100 towards July 2023's bills and kept £50 to do some food shopping and I need to replace my folding walking stick. 

I was very excited to work out that with the £10 a week that my brother owes me starting from this coming Monday and the £75 from August 2023, that the first phone with will be paid off in September 2023 and the second one in November 2023! That means that I'll actually be down to two creditors for 2024. Just my mum and that mammoth Barclaycard balance.

But by December 2023, excluding anything from the Freely Debt Saving pot, I will be under £10k 🎉. Barclaycard will be down to £7,350 and my mum will be down to £2,350 (based on sticking to £100 a month), so £9,700 in total. I've not been under £10k debt in so many years. I'm very excited to know that it's coming.

I cashed out £3.47 from Qmee and send £3 plus an additional £1 to Mobile Madness (so £4 total), and the £0.47 to Build a Buffer. So it's coming together nicely 🤗.

Had a check in with my manager this morning and told her that I'm not ready to come back just yet, but once I am on top of normal basic day to day functioning on a consistent basis, then I can start to think about reintroducing work and she agreed. Turns out that they're finally hiring more people and expanding the overall team. Only took them 4.5 years to realise that our headcount didn't match our workload or the expectations and demands placed on us 🙄. Better late than never. 

We talked about when I do return, that I will be reducing my working hours, and I can either go back to 24 hours a week (doing 3.5 days) or 21 hours a week (doing 3 days or 2.5 days). I'll have to think about it and work out the pay and stuff, but working less hours is a definite. I just need to see if working 3 days a week is financially sustainable, as I'd prefer that than working 3.5 days like I used to and 2.5 days is too short as there is a lot to do in that place and I don't want to get stressed out again. But having said that, shorter working days even spread over more days is better than less working days but long hours. But I'll have a think about all of that properly when I'm able to actually eat 3 meals a day, wash consistently and sleep more than 4 hours a night. Until then, my goals are just basic daily living and adulting and then the rest can follow...

AntoMac

Lots of better stuff happening there Keedie. Maybe it will have a bit of a knock on effect and help your sleep pattern. Fingers crossed

beanielou

Great news on the ddebt 

LittleMissDetermined

Just catching up Keedie and I'm so pleased that work have realised about the understaffing levels. Like you say, better late than never!  Don't feel any pressure to go back until you're ready though x

Keedie

Morning all, I had a flare up over the last few days as I tried (just about successfully) to do a hobble run for a train when I went to East London to see my sister. I've had a pain in my left achilles heel since Tuesday last week as a result of my mini sprint, but it's fading now. It's still stiff when I walk though. My body started to shut down a bit over the last week due to being so overwhelmed and in pain so I've been really tired and weak, but I managed a lot more sleep last night and slept in until 9am today. That was lovely.

When I get back from the holiday, I will definitely start swimming again as I think my body is too stiff. I shouldn't be recovering for a week after trying to move quickly. I need to fix that 😬🤦🏾‍♀️.

I'm definitely taking my time with going back to work and make sure that I am in the proper place to be able to do so. I had another appointment with the Mental Health Practitioner today and we're still going through the anxiety workbook and those sessions are really helping me. So that's definitely positive. Knowing that they're finally taking the understaffing seriously and making changes to the way that they manage some of their processes is reassuring. I was so anxious about the meeting with my manager on Friday, that I kept getting chest pains and my stomach was in knots. So I really do need to do some work on that. 

I will be applying to Maximus, which has a programme that is part of the government's Access to Work support programme that is designed to help people with a mental health condition to return to work or remain in work. I've noted their contact details and when I get back from holiday I will speak to them and get the ball rolling for some support.

My mum is helping me tomorrow to declutter some of the mounds of papers that I have built up that needs to be shredded. Me and my son also need to declutter our clothes, as he has lot of items, most of which don't fit him anymore and a lot of the t-shirts have holes along the neckline where he has chewed them like a rabbit. I know it's an uncontrollable habit and coping mechanism from dealing with his anxiety, but it's annoyingly expensive to replace clothes. He even does it to clothes that he has brought for himself, so I can't even say he's doing it because he didn't buy them 🙄. 

I sent £10 to the Mobile Madness pot courtesy of my brother's repayment, and it's now £76.02. Not bad going. I will definitely be able to clear Phone A in October at this rate 🤗. 

I cashed in the first of my Disney+ voucher codes from Clubcard, so enjoying my 'free' 3 month subscription. I'm still paying the £7.99 a month into my Starling, so that I can accumulate it to put towards an annual subscriptions. I'm currently saving for Amazon Prime annual subscription, which is £95 and I have £20.99 so far. I should be able to get an annual subscription in October as I rrrrwas paying for Now Sports but now that the season has ended, I cut it back and I've kept my standing order from Monzo to Starling at the same amount, as if I was still paying for the sports and Disney+. Once I've paid Prime annually, I'll still keep the standing order, but I'll no longer be paying £8.99 a month for that or £7.99 for Disney, so I'll be able to save the difference and put it towards an annual Disney+ subscription. Then once we hit January 2024, I can reduce the standing order, and know that it will still be accumulating money towards the next annual subscriptions. Yay.

beanielou

When are you off on your holibobs? 
You can swim then?