The Mental Debt Struggle...

Keedie

Nah, washing the headphones was definitely my fault. He knows how to do laundry etc, but I was washing black clothes and didn't have enough of my own to fill the machine and so I just snatched some of his clothes from his laundry basker to make it up and as I was rushing to go out, so I didn't check his stuff properly. I think between me and my carer (who keeps boiling our clothes on very hot washes), he doesn't want our help with his dirty clothes anymore 😂. I've given up helping, and he's said he wants to do more stuff anyways, as he'll be off to uni in no time. 

And yeah, I was a bit hurt by my therapy rejection, but I went to my bipolar support group last night and that really helped. I was even quite frugal and had just the one drink and ate when I got home. I didn't want to spend too much of my spending money for the week all in one day. I've got my son into budgeting a bit better as well with his pocket money, and he's starting to see the benefit of holding some money back, instead of spending it all straight away.

I've paid the £100 to my mum today instead of 10th of the month, as there wasn't a point in waiting, so I have changed the standing order date from next month to come out on the 2nd along with my other debt payments. 

I think I need to get some eardrops as my right ear is really hurting and so is my jaw. Actually, maybe I need to go to the dentist? My tooth isn't aching or anything, but maybe it's not my jaw and it's my gums 🤷🏾‍♀️. I eat too much sweets, so it would serve me right anyways if it was my teeth.

His studying has picked up which is good. He seems to motivate himself around things that he has to do. Like there's the FA Cup Final today at 3pm, and so once I picked him up from tuition this morning, he was eager to get home and study some more so that he can watch the match in peace. He was also the only child that turned up for the half term revision session yesterday at his college. I think he'll definitely be able to relax on the beach in Turkey knowing that he's tried. 

Speaking of Turkey, I need to get a few bits of shopping, nothing fancy, but I do need a few tops and some nice sandals. My friend told me about Shein and Temu, but I dunno much about online clothes shopping anymore. I'm not that fashionable as I've fallen out of habit with shopping and making an effort. But some materials aggravate my skin because of the fibromyalgia, so I tend to shop in person instead, so that I can go around feeling all the clothes to work out which ones are worth considering. I must look rather odd fondling all the clothes 😂...!

Sun_Addict

I’ve only ever bought one thing from Shein and that was a pair of sandals. I wasn’t over-impressed to be honest. I’ve heard a lot of bad things ethics wise about Temu but not sure if it’s just scaremongering. You might be better off buying one decent pair of sandals that will go with everything. I like to feel the fabric of clothes before buying, don’t forget it will be very hot in Turkey so anything synthetic will be sweaty. Linen might be your best bet. Next do some nice linen dresses and you can buy them from eBay shops for a lot less. 

LittleMissDetermined

I agree with @Sun_Addict and to be honest I don't think the likes of Shein is any better value than picking up stuff from Primark. It's worth also looking at second hand good quality brands for the summer staples that can be used year after year.

I'm shocked that the half term revision class was empty aside from your son, I can see why he is making you proud with his studying. A fa cry from how he was when your diary first started, it's been an incredible journey for both of you.  I think you can definitely relax that no matter what, he's given it his best. At the end of the day that's all you can ask for isn't it?

Not be long before you're counting down to the holiday...
LMD x

LittleMissDetermined

Also... H&M do some decently priced linen so could be worth checking there too.

Keedie

Thanks @Sun_Addict, that's really good advice and information. I definitely don't want to support any organisation that is exploiting people. I've had my reservations about companies that can afford to sell things so cheap, so you've kind of confirmed what my conscience thought might be the case. I'll definitely need linen, as I only have one pair of linen trousers. I think I'll check Skechers for sandals, as I struggle to walk most days, and I need something very comfortable and I know a few people that have been raving about that brand for arch support. 

I forgot about H&M so thanks @LittleMissDetermined.I think I'll have a look at the supermarkets as well, as George Asda and TU Sainsbury's can have some nice economical stuff. I'm not looking for a lot, just enough to feel like I've treated myself for the holiday as this will be the first time I've left the UK since 2019. 

I'm definitely proud of his different approach to his work and he seems to have gotten a better handle on having a balance. He's going to play football with his cousins later and so he's studying now so that he can enjoy his time out later on. When I was at school, if you didn't turn up for the half term revision sessions everyone kinda shunned you and thought you weren't taking life seriously. I'm sure mainstream kids are making more of an effort, as they tend to not really get much of a choice. But with his home education programme, it's more flexible. Like he would normally have science on a Monday and Wednesday afternoon, but he's decided not to go to the class tomorrow, as there is a lesson on Tuesday afternoon and so he will do that instead and as he has an exam on Wednesday he'll go to the Thursday afternoon science class as he has Biology on Friday afternoon. So maybe some kids went to the second revision session on Friday? 🤷🏾‍♀️

But yes, he will enjoy his holiday as he has worked hard, but most importantly, he's had a change in mindset that will set him up for success in the future. We've both been on a journey in the last 12 months... It's been exceptionally tough going at times, but it is so encouraging to keep pushing forward, when I look back at how far we have come.

beanielou

I would avoid Shein. Dire quality.

WelshmansDaughter

I got my entire summer wardrobe in the local charity shop. Nice quality linen too. 
Can't say anything about shoes though as I just wear my barefoot shoes with everything 🤷

Keedie

I got a really lovely dress from a Cancer Research charity shop years ago and it was one of my favourites. I've not been shopping properly for a long time. I got some clothes months ago as my friend gave me a £50 M&S voucher and so I got some basics like jeans, jeggings and some trousers. I'll have a look out for some linens, and I don't have very long to go. I got an email from TUI saying that we go in 28 days. I dunno why that was a shock to me 🤦🏾‍♀️😂.

My anti-car stance crashed and burned in the last few days. I've been so weak and in so much pain trying to walk around and use public transport more. I'm so frustrated. But then today I drove and took my mum to the pub for a meal and we went to see my Granny in hospital and I've come home and I'm absolutely shattered and had to crawl into my bed. My sister and my brother think I should just sell the car and get an automatic as manual driving clearly isn't helping things. But I hate driving, and I also hate the impact on my body and pain and fatigue levels when I don't drive... 😩.

Ignore my whinging, I'm just feeling sorry for myself and feeling really weak. 

But on a more positive note, the exams finish next week and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's also time for a nice day trip to Brighton, so once the exams are over, I'm going to jump on a train and head down there by myself for the day. I want to sit on the beach and relax knowing that the majority of the stress is behind me. I have vision of me sitting on the pier eating a 99 ice cream and watching the world go by...

My child benefit came today, so I've set it aside to start stockpiling my income throughout the month for July's bills. My friend told me that paying for the following month's bills using the current month's income is the same as being 'one month ahead'. Now I'm a little confused as I thought that being one month ahead meant that I had an entire month's fixed expenses built up, so that if I had a sudden loss of income, I could at least pay my bills. Not sure if I have just misunderstood the concept, but I don't think using June's income to determine July's expenses is any different than using your income to pay for the next month. It's just that I've chosen a set refresh date and do everything based on a calendar month basis. But maybe I'm wrong and my friend is right??

AntoMac

Hello Keedie, I’ve not looked in properly for a while.
I’m guessing things are still a bit fraught with being in the middle of exam season.
A great achievement getting under £13k. That means you’ve reduced your total debt by over £20,000 in 2016. £33k in 2016 would be the equivalent of over £40k today if you take into account inflation so you need to give yourself an even bigger pat on the back for getting it down as you have done.
Now I’ll tell you everything I know about the right sandals and women’s clothes shopping. In fact as soon as I find a postage stamp I’ll write everything I know about it on the back of it 
Wasn’t one of your reasons for not looking at medication the risk it would cause to keeping your driving licence? If/when you finally get rid of your car perhaps that’s something you could revisit? Not getting enough sleep can be very hard to deal with.
Anyway, onwards and upwards and it can’t be too much longer before the exams are done.

beanielou

Hope the exams are going well for your DS.