Money Moral Dilemma: Should we leave our friend out of rounds at the pub?

Leslefc

If I couldnt afford a round, i wouldnt go out, or at start of night I would say that I was staying on my own. Its wrong to take drinks without buying back.
People are saying that he may have money trouble...well if he is going outside smoking each time its his round, he cant be that skint! He is using his mates and that is wrong! I would wait for him to come back from smoke or loo, and say...Your round! Simple!

JayD

As has been previously suggested. When he disappears when it is his round, just wait for him to come back and then give him your order. He needs to be put on the spot AT THE TIME HE IS DOING THE EVADING. No pleasant chat about him missing his turn after the event. I am sure all of the group would be willing to do this.

Or all agree to just buy your own as and when you want one.

Ozie

I drink alot with my mates always in rounds, we have found it easier to decide how much we all put into a beer fund at the beginning of the evening then it doesn't matter who goes to the toilet or for a smoke at anytime of the evening 

eao

The 'rounds' system is of great financial benefit to the drinks industry.  Picture, 4 friends, they finish work on a sunny June day, it's lovely to go to the pub for a pint, yes a pint but not 4 pints.  Some years ago a friend told me of an experience at a conference in Scandinavia; he offered to buy a round of drinks, the Scans were bemused, it did not seem to be in their culture.
A further consideration. it leads to over-consumption, a depleted pay-packet arriving home to one's wife and family and possibly the slippery slope to alcoholism.
So, buy your own, enjoy the 1 but do not influence others, or be influenced by others to consume more than they or you want.

Yvonne35ans

Lots of accusations ... "he shouldn't be in the pub if he's skint"   - don't judge .. his social circle might be what's keeping him going.    Maybe the kinder way would just to opt out of round-buying, if he's struggling - and if he's just mean, then he'll have no option to buy his own without sponging of others.  

expressman33

The same often happens with restaurant meals , those that have the most expensive meal and drinks ( I only drink water with a meal ) are the ones that say "let's split the bill " . 

SteeV516451

If it’s so noticeable , then it’s clearly an issue ! A few times is neither here nor there , but when it’s all the time - it’s time to be more frank and clearly say that the group drinks is just that - group , and that includes everyone contributing to the fun . You’d like to think that if finances were tight at a particular time that the person would have the sense to say they’d miss that particular night out 🤷‍♂️

official_Grant

Personally if a friend was doing this to me, I would certainly be up front & talk to them about it. 
Depending on the relationship I had, I would give him / her a bit of a ribbing and embarrass them into buying their round. 
If it was clearly someone who could afford drinks & was just being tight, I would think a LOT less of them and if they kept doing it, it's fair to say I wouldn't be inclined to be friends with them. 

If it was someone with money problems, I'd be more sympathetic and suggest something cheaper, like socialising at a house / garden with shop bought drinks. 

Bloodyhell

I knew someone at work who, on a work night out, would always buy the second round.  Whoever bought the first was buying for everyone.  This person would then down their drink quickly and offer to get a round in.  As everyone else was still drinking, the only person they bought for on their round was themselves.

tain

Couple of things I've noticed from the replies:

• The point of buying rounds (as I understand it) is to save the group time and to help the bar run efficiently. Having 5 people go up to the bar every drink takes far far longer than 1 person getting 5 drinks.
• Buying a round is an accepted and well understood convention. Accepting a drink within a round is very different to accepting a drink out of kind. If you don't plan on reciprocating, you are being dishonest. There is no excuse for this.
• So what if the person is in financial hardship? That isn't an excuse to deceive your friends and spend their money. If the value of your friendship is below the value of your honesty, then you're not worth being a friend of.
• If you're in a group of friends who pressure you to get in rounds even when you protest, you need to question if this is beneficial kind of friendship. The same as any friend that pressures you into boozing.