Money Moral Dilemma: Should we leave our friend out of rounds at the pub?

LP53

You’ve already spoken to him and let him know how you feel and he’s chosen to ignore you and take advantage. Anyone with any morals would realise it’s unfair and feel bad but he’s obviously been tight. Say you’re not doing rounds and Each buy your own drinks some peoples drinks are more expensive and everyone doesn’t drink at the same pace anyway. I’m sure nobody will mind as they’re prob all fed up with it.

witchone

Yes leave him out, but explain why, the guy may be genuinely struggling but doesn't want you to know that.

JamesyMac

Can you not just make him have his round first. Call him out at the time and it saves leaving anyone out.

Has he said why? Is he skint? If not; make sure he goes first.

Abbafan1972

I would just have it so you all buy your own drinks, as not everyone drinks at the same speed anyway. 

dysucker

I had a mate like this, who would leave just as it was his round. We confronted him about it, and he said he was a student so didn't have much money (we were all poor students at the time).

So we just stopped buying him drinks, and he started buying his own.

I also had friends who would only buy drinks in cheaper pubs so they wouldn't buy drinks in more expensive pubs later in pub crawls.

Rounds are usually meaningless anyway and often open to problems such as those outlined. People who complain are likely those who benefit from such a scheme.

I'd say just start buying your own drinks. If the purpose is to meet up and enjoy each others company anyway, then going without rounds isn't exactly a deal breaker.

violentvinyl

The next time he "disappears", poll your other friends to see if they are happy to continue buying his drinks (assuming you want him to keep coming out with you and he can't afford them). If your friends are happy to pay for his drinks, one of you can casually let him know he doesn't have to disappear or be embarrassed and that you're happy to pay for this drinks. There are some friends for whom I would gladly pay for their drinks all night just to have them along. You never know what someone is going through. If it turns out this friend isn't worth the price of admission and no one is happy with the freeloading, there are plenty of other suggestions in this thread to stop this behavior.

ripongrammargirl

Not much give but lots of take. I am skint (“live” on disability benefits) so I don’t go out at all and therefore avoid embarrassment of not being able to contribute. You really need to have a one to one chat about why this is and tell him not to be ashamed if he has no money for rounds but then explain you won’t be including him in your rounds. Or just all put same amount into a kitty at the start and when it’s gone, it’s gone. Or better still stay home with pals and avoid alcohol overload, hangovers, bar brawls, who’s buying what etc. Always the same answer for these dilemmas and that is COMMUNICATION! Just talk to each other people!

Ed264

You haven't said how regular these pub visits are. Once a week? Once a month? 

If your friend can afford to smoke, perhaps he can afford to buy his round. It seems to me that he's too tight to buy a round. If so, I wouldn't be inviting him to join the group, especially considering that you've previously spoken to him about it.

Dean1243

Avoid large rounds and buddy up in small ones. That way you don't all drink to the fastest drinkers speed. If it's a mate that you want to keep and enjoy their company, ask when alone if any problems. Do you want to help a friend in need or ditch a tight !!!!!!? Are you drinking too much and they are struggling to keep up so disappear in hope he skips a drink without being called a lightweight. 

gloriouslyhappy

Buying rounds is always a contentious issue. As someone who has one g&t and then tonic thereafter, when I go out with a group of friends I don’t wish to subsidise heavy drinkers so I announce I’m leaving early and tell the group not to include me in rounds. No one has a problem with that, and when I buy my drink I also buy several packets of bar snacks and put them on the table for the group to share. When I’m ready, I depart for home, leaving them to drink the night away and go for expensive takeaways which I have neither the appetite nor the funds for. 

We’re all still friends and I notice now we’re all much older a few others are also announcing their intention to depart early and avoiding being part of the buying rounds group.