Money Moral Dilemma: Should we leave our friend out of rounds at the pub?

MSE_Kelvin

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

My mates and I regularly go to the pub for a catch-up, taking turns to buy rounds. One of our friends often 'conveniently' disappears to the toilet or goes for a smoke when it's his round. We've spoken to him about it, but nothing's changed. Should we start to leave him out of rounds - which could cause problems in the group - or ignore it, as we have been doing?

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KxMx

Announce his round is next, watch him disappear, wait for him to return and simply say "great timing, we've only just decided what drinks we want".

Colernedonkey

Maybe have a drinks float which everyone puts in the same amount at the beginning of the evening - whatever a round normally costs.  If he does not put in then he cannot take out!

oldboybailey

There's one in every friendship group. In my experience the awkwardness of being up front and telling them to stop being a tightarse was miles better than constantly feeling like you were being taken the !!!!!! out of. Only thing I'd say is don't embarrass them in front of all the group, you never know there might be a good reason like they've got loads of debt or something, best to find a good time for a proper chat about it

John_Gray

Surely the MoneySaving thing would be not to go to the pub at all!  Then the dilemma would not arise - and you could save billions of electrons also, as well as £huge...

LAMBS60

Maybe he can’t afford a round , so ask him if he’d rather just buy his own than be embarrassed by having to avoid a round .

soryan25

Definitely tell him if he does not want to be in the round, buy his own. Stop adding him to the round. If he can't afford a round, stay out of round. Not embarrassing to say he is buying his own...

littleliz24

Rounds can put a bit pressure on someone who hasn’t got the money for them. I’d just decide to just buy your own drinks from now on.

kerri_gt

They may not want or be able to be part of a round for a number of reasons.

Granted then they shouldn't take drinks from others but surely if you're actual friends you can just ask them if they want to be part of the round and in which case will be expected to buy when it's their turn, or if they'd rather stick to themselves. 🤷‍♀️

WolverineSW11

As someone that years ago, was not in a position to afford round (some people took the micky when I could, ordering an expensive drink, then cheap when it was their turn), I would not go to the pub.
If he keeps disappearing when it's his round, all the others go to the bar and buy their own drink, then take a long time to drink it.
If he keeps taking the mick, then he is not really a friend, that is if he has no financial problems.
Maybe just all buy your own drinks when he is there, that might sort out the problem.

canaldumidi

He's either mean/tight, or broke/hard up.

If the former, you need to force the issue.

If the latter you need todecide what 'friendship' means and maybe just accept that his visits to the loo are his embarrassed way to avoid spending what he does not have.

I remember as a student being unable to physicaly keep up with rounds of pints. I used to always drink halves, and felt there was a certain unfairness that when it was my round I bought everyone a pint, but for the sake of fitting in I went along with it.

Nowadays I'd probably just buy my own drinks, but peer pressure, and youth, can make that hard.