Where to focus - mortgage, renovations etc?

Working_Mum

Hi shellstar,
I was left in the family home when my marriage broke down in 2009. It was a large 5 bedroomed detached, Arts & Crafts style home on a beautiful tree lined road. My children were 8 & 10 when my exH left and I had  a small business (which I set up so I could work flexibly around the children but suddenly it was doing all the fiscal heavy lifting!).

When my exH left I'd say the house was at "repairs and renewals" stage and I didn't have the money for a long time to do any work (exH didn't pay me for about 2.5 years). I adored this house and wanted desperately to keep my children in their family home. I eventually got on a firm footing and managed to do various re-decorating and refreshing projects, including repainting the outside in the summer of 2016. 

When it came to selling I had one couple who severely lowball offered me, several times, and I refused to engage with them. By then our home was clean, freshly painted, homely my garden was beautiful and I was covering the fiscal bases so essentially took the view that I could stay here until the right offer (right buyer) came along. This couple kept visiting and sitting outside my home staring at it and walking the boundary to get a good view of it. I eventually told me EA that they were to stop arranging visits and until they got anywhere near the figures I had in mind he had my permission to tell them to sling their hook. 

Eventually after about 6 long months we agreed a figure (£20k less than my asking but I was happy). I disengaged with them and their "negotiation" tactics. I have to say though, I was less than my usual generous self when I left - I took lots of things I didn't have to leave and really didn't have any need for in my smaller, downsized home but I took them anyway!! I have a 1920's crystal chandelier over my dining table which my kids (now 24 and 27) hate but I love it in its new spot!! I made a few quid on eB4y too.

I don't regret the frugal years I had keeping my kids in their family home, we had a blast and created some amazing memories. I was proud I stood my ground with the subsequent owners too. Some people simply feel they have to play hardball all of the time. I played hardball too actually - I threatened to take my home off the market if they didn't complete within a certain timeframe - my fixed rate mortgage had ended and there was an issue with one of their property sales (blending families) - so I ended up with the extra on my mortgage being paid by them for 3 months and I made no financial contribution for some remedial works on my chimney which their survey had identified. It had become  transactional by that point, it was the middle of Covid lockdowns and I was not in the mood for their penny-pinching shenanigans!!

So I think you should continue of your path of building a fabulous life with your wonderful son and focus on the bit you can control (and that isn't idiots with champagne tastes and beer money!!). You have all of the skills you need and definitely the support from readers here who want you to succeed

Big hugs,

((WM))

shellstar

Thanks @Working_Mum I really appreciate you sharing your journey. 

News! We have accepted an offer. It's only £5k more than we paid 4 years ago, so they are getting a bargain and we are losing money. In the end, they wouldn't come higher and ex-DP wouldn't come lower. Eventually we said we were going to take it off the market and that is what Ex-DP and I agreed last night. Then the conversation became about the work that needed doing and we just couldn't agree on any of it. He doesn't want to spend the money. Doesn't have the time to do the work himself but wants a say in everything and usually has a different view to me about everything - colours, where things should go, the extent of the work needed etc. DS is a liability around power tools and I don't have a lot of time myself so doing it myself would be possible bit difficult, especially with Ex-DP hovering in the background saying what can and can't be done.

I slept on things and woke up asking myself, what price is freedom? So, I agreed to forego some of my equity, bridged the gap and the sale is agreed. It is a bit galling. I am feeling so sad for losing this home, because I really do love it and where I live. The village has been a life line. People talk to me every day and that doesn't happen everywhere, especially in the South. But I think it will be better for me to have certainty, and therefore better for my son. 

My budget is thus greatly reduced and I suspect I will have to go into my funds to make things work, but we shall see. There isn't a lot on the market in my price range at the moment but I am going to see 4 houses over the rest of the week. One is a strong contender, but on the pricier side. One is a non-standard construction. I have checked and my bank would let me get a mortgage on that property, and it is far below my budget with everything I need (no parking, but perhaps I can live without?). I'm worried it might severely limit mortgage options in the future - it's a reema conclad construction, or be difficult to sell. The house is immaculate inside, but they've been on the market since July and I guess the construction is why it is priced so far below the rest of the market. 

Anyway - I love a floor plan, so whilst I do feel sad, it will pass and I am glad (and so relieved) to be moving forward. The new builds around here aren't selling atm and they are offering deals on stamp duty etc. so maybe I should look at those too. I've never considered a new build before but maybe I should enquire. Can you make offers on new builds, or is it the list price or nothing? 

debtfreewannabe321

Oh congratulations shell star on the offer. Even if it is a bit low it really is a case of what is the price of freedom?! Sometimes it's best just to cut ties even at a cost.
New builds I've never bought but we did view a couple this time round and the vendors were dead set on the- this is the price we won't lower it. It put us off actually how they played it so tough. Lots of those houses are still for sale on RM when I have my usual nosey at what's for sale every week 🤷🏻‍♀️ so I think it's worth a shot of putting in a lower offer and seeing what they say! Good luck with the viewings.

South_coast

Congratulations on the offer! While it's tough to accept a lower price, your freedom will be priceless. 

You should definitely be able to negotiate the price on a new build. Even if they're unhappy about agreeing a reduction in the actual price tag, there is still negotiation available on things like stamp duty, contributions towards legal costs, upgrades, carpets etc.... If you don't ask, you won't get! And they will need you much more than you need them

daisy_1571

So glad you got an offer you can live with.

The non standard construction one:  you can get a mortgage so it might not necessarily stop others getting a mortgage.   Either way that's a future issue, right now you need a home for you both.  Its done inside which is huge after you living in a half finished place, a lower asking price means lower repayments which increases overpaying opportunities which might mean you get it paid off quicker therefore mortgage issues eventually are not an issue (for you).

Them all: what's the location of them all?  Are any of them in your area?  That seems important 

Dxx

shellstar

Thanks all for the comments and encouragement, and the info on new builds and non-standard construction etc. I'm feeling much better about it all today. I went and viewed a house that would be at the limit of my budget but needs no work. However, it has a (less than asking) offer on it already and it's the first I've seen. It was also really overlooked and I didn't like the area as much as other places I'm seeing. It's not a bad area, there are just nicer areas, if you see what I mean. 

I'm trying to get a viewing on a similar house that has tenants in (will be sold with vacant possession) and I did a drive by and that is in a much nicer area. It's not that far from the other house but is less overlooked and the neighbourhood looked nice and cared for. That one is also expensive and with tenants I am assuming would need some work. Hard to tell until I see it. The pictures are nice and it has better parking options. 

I'm also seeing the pre-fab house on Friday and two new builds on Monday. The new builds are ready so would come with the carpets etc. and she said that they could do something on the price. Anything else she would only negotiate if I was definitely interested (e.g. stamp duty). 

That's about it that meets my criteria atm so we shall see. For the first one, I said I liked the house but I won't be able to offer until I've seen the others. 

@daisy_1571 I live in a village on the outskirts of a town. None of the houses are in my village sadly (there will be nothing in my price range that meets my needs here unfortunately) but most of the houses I'm seeing are either in the town in newbuild or newish estates or the pre-fab is in a village closer to the town. The village is a notorious rat run though, so something to consider. 

shellstar

More news - the chain has broken. Our buyer has lost their buyer. Already. 

I feel oddly calm about it. I figure I have a buyer (who are apparently really upset and worried we'd now re-list the house) and it is really their problem to fix. Not in a 'I don't care' way, because I do and I hope they find a new buyer quickly, but I can't fix it, so it isn't something I can give energy to. That is actually pretty good growth for me I think! Well done therapy. 

I also decided to go ahead with my viewings because I am hopeful they will be able to get a buyer. I've just been to see the pre-fab and honestly, it's absolutely lovely. Flows really well, good size rooms, the kitchen is compact but so well laid out. There is space for my private practice and I wouldn't have to change anything. It's also £85k less than my next fave (which I'm going to see later) so that is a mega plus. No parking, but I am confident I would get a spot in front of my house pretty much every time. 

So, I now have to do a lot of research on reema conclad and double check my mortgage provider would let me port to such a house. They have some kind of certificate regarding the structural integrity so I've asked them to send that over and I'll take a look. 

I know I'm no longer proceedable but I'm choosing to trust the universe will sort it out. 

beanielou

Sorry to hear that. Hope things sort out soon. 

shellstar

More news!! Our buyer has found another buyer. Wooo hooo! Looking at rightmove I think they dropped the price on theirs to get someone quickly. Luckily so far they haven't dropped their offer to us.

I've kept on viewing houses and there hasn't been a lot in my price range. Most have been pretty small and expensive, although there was one that I thought could work. The new builds were tiny and right at the top of my budget. Very overlooked, and even the main bedroom could only fit a double and some side tables.

So today I have had an offer accepted on the pre-fab!! I'm so excited. I've lined up a local surveyor with experience of this construction type and so asap I'll arrange a full structural survey. I spoke to the neighbours though and they've never had trouble getting a mortgage or insurance. They find the house easy to heat, no noise issues and they've not had any structural problems so I am feeling gooooood. 

They've accepted £295k and I'm still playing with numbers but I am going to put down either 27% or 30% deposit (I'm porting my mortgage otherwise). What this does mean is that my mortgage will be affordable, and I will get to keep almost all of my savings although there will be some minor things needed to do to the house straight away. The stairs has no banister which is a no no with my kamikaze two year old around, and they are planning to take their cooker so I will need to get a new one as it's one of those big range cookers. I did offer to buy it off them but they want it apparently, so fair enough. 

Fingers crossed everyone! I hope everything goes smoothly and that my DS, the dog and I are settled in our new home asap. Whoop Whoop!! 

beanielou

Exciting news.