Where to focus - mortgage, renovations etc?

Working_Mum

Hi shellstar,
I was left in the family home when my marriage broke down in 2009. It was a large 5 bedroomed detached, Arts & Crafts style home on a beautiful tree lined road. My children were 8 & 10 when my exH left and I had  a small business (which I set up so I could work flexibly around the children but suddenly it was doing all the fiscal heavy lifting!).

When my exH left I'd say the house was at "repairs and renewals" stage and I didn't have the money for a long time to do any work (exH didn't pay me for about 2.5 years). I adored this house and wanted desperately to keep my children in their family home. I eventually got on a firm footing and managed to do various re-decorating and refreshing projects, including repainting the outside in the summer of 2016. 

When it came to selling I had one couple who severely lowball offered me, several times, and I refused to engage with them. By then our home was clean, freshly painted, homely my garden was beautiful and I was covering the fiscal bases so essentially took the view that I could stay here until the right offer (right buyer) came along. This couple kept visiting and sitting outside my home staring at it and walking the boundary to get a good view of it. I eventually told me EA that they were to stop arranging visits and until they got anywhere near the figures I had in mind he had my permission to tell them to sling their hook. 

Eventually after about 6 long months we agreed a figure (£20k less than my asking but I was happy). I disengaged with them and their "negotiation" tactics. I have to say though, I was less than my usual generous self when I left - I took lots of things I didn't have to leave and really didn't have any need for in my smaller, downsized home but I took them anyway!! I have a 1920's crystal chandelier over my dining table which my kids (now 24 and 27) hate but I love it in its new spot!! I made a few quid on eB4y too.

I don't regret the frugal years I had keeping my kids in their family home, we had a blast and created some amazing memories. I was proud I stood my ground with the subsequent owners too. Some people simply feel they have to play hardball all of the time. I played hardball too actually - I threatened to take my home off the market if they didn't complete within a certain timeframe - my fixed rate mortgage had ended and there was an issue with one of their property sales (blending families) - so I ended up with the extra on my mortgage being paid by them for 3 months and I made no financial contribution for some remedial works on my chimney which their survey had identified. It had become  transactional by that point, it was the middle of Covid lockdowns and I was not in the mood for their penny-pinching shenanigans!!

So I think you should continue of your path of building a fabulous life with your wonderful son and focus on the bit you can control (and that isn't idiots with champagne tastes and beer money!!). You have all of the skills you need and definitely the support from readers here who want you to succeed

Big hugs,

((WM))