Debt and Caring

WelshmansDaughter

First day back at work yesterday. Readers, I lost an argument with a 4 year old 🤷 
Or more accurately, ran out of arguments to persuade her to stay at home. Which resulted in tears from another child and one hiding under furniture.
So I was accompanied home by said 4 year old who played with the dog briefly before being collected by her somewhat harassed mother. 
I will be working an additional couple of hours this evening and so today I went to the local bargain shop and bought Planning Materials. I will herd these cats with the aid of sparkly things and post its.

Cherryfudge

Does anyone ever win an argument with a four year old?

Perhaps get in first with with your bargaining tools: 'You can come to my house if your mum agrees and if you...' (insert behaviour of your choice, but make sure anything you offer is achievable and enforceable) (especially enforceable).

Good luck - you may need it.  

WelshmansDaughter

Ha she is on the spectrum Cherry those arguments are far too easy for her.
She chanced it again tonight lol

Cherryfudge

Oh dear - are more good luck wishes in order? What happens if you just say 'no'? Or is that a stupid question? (Quite possibly).

savingholmes

Practicing 'no that doesn't work for me' rather than giving reasons may help. You don't do things by halves do you....

WelshmansDaughter

Lol I was going to ask what do you mean SH? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have truly got no idea how I end up in these situations. When I think about it really isn't that surprising that I get tired 🤦‍♀️

savingholmes

I think just the childcare would wear me out - never mind what  you do on top for your parents.

WelshmansDaughter

It turns out executive function is not a tiny little man standing in your hand directing traffic. It's function execution, damn typical people and their backwards English 🤣🤣🤣
I have not gotten a grasp on this concept despite many attempts. 
The dog, out for a walk, knows her own mind. If she does not want to go left, she does not want to go left. 
My main problem is not knowing why I can't do something. It drives me round the bend. I know what to do. I know how to do things I don't know how to do. I just can't do them. 
My current theory is that the part of my brain that I need is being used elsewhere. Either for compensation like holding up my body due to balance problems or for making sure dad's care is on track.
I only address longer term things when they are shoved in my face. But my mind brings some longer term things up now when I can do nothing about them. 
A mystery.

The childcare wears me out. By day 3 I am unable to separate sound and usually go home and can't do anything 

savingholmes

Sounds like issues with sensory processing too which is part of ASD, ADHD and other things... 

I too can struggle to force myself to do things. Can be easily overwhelmed... Something simple like sending a parcel back can be overwhelming and yet I can do something seemingly complex for work. I just have little energy left afterwards.

Have you ever seen the cartoons on mental load - especially for women? I eased some of the burden by keeping a daily notebook / journal and writing to do lists... 

WelshmansDaughter

You know what SH, I used to think that I was holding myself back from doing things. I'm not sure now if perhaps that was an excuse to cover up the fact that I couldn't do it. Food for thought anyway.
In a strange twist I put sweets back today. And didn't buy stuff. Although that is because I don't have any money to buy stuff with. And because I was working with my brain instead of against it. I didn't go to the supermarket or the shopping centre even though I wanted to. I could picture myself getting tired just going from the car park across the road.
No work booked for tomorrow, I'd imagine she forgot but I will potentially have a day off.
I am trying to do stuff just for fun and because I want to. I've started watching House from Series 1. I'm spending more time just reading. Although that does come at a cost. All things my brain knows how to do.