Debt and Caring

doingitanyway

Can you spread the 2 days you work out? When I was struggling, I found going to work and knowing I had tomorrow off made all the difference to my ability to cope. It gave me time to regroup too. 

Cycling will be good. Initially I feel exhausted when I restart cycling but it doesn't take long to reap the benefits

WelshmansDaughter

Currently I am taking the day off. By which I mean I have not moved from the bed except to go for one walk. I might move to the chair for a change of pace.
I haven't booked any shifts for the coming week but I was thinking along those lines DIA. It is quite overwhelming to get up and go to work two days in a row. Demand avoidance is high at the moment.
Removing the radiator was fairly unskilled labour Cherry, it was so old and jammed into a corner the only thing I could do was cut it out with a multi-tool. The hole in the floor came from a project to insulate underneath. Sadly the floorboards turned out to be tongue and groove so I couldn't re-install them and the entire project grew out of hand. This was a mere four years ago...
I have reached the stage where I need to do projects that add to my enjoyment of the flat. It has been quite a slog of just clearing up. There is still more to go to the tip from the garden (the very old shed) which I am putting off.
On the bright side the daffodils I planted have come up. 
I am trying to catch up on diaries but it is slow going.

PennysIntoPounds

Barely moving plus daffodils sound just what's needed. 
Adding to your enjoyment of the flat will be a lovely focus.
Are you employed directly or through an agency? I ask because all the health care settings I've known have had agency staff, and they're able to choose the shifts they want so could be worth looking into if relevant.
It's good to see you back and I'm glad you're keeping on keeping on x

KeepOnKnitting

Your floorboard problem sounds like the sort of thing I would find overwhelming, so forgive me if I am projecting here and you are doing fine with it. I got into DIY overwhelm last year and then couldn't get unstuck by myself. I had to get moral support from my mum to get over the hump. Would that help you at all? Someone to be with you while you do it and look after you, make food and remind you to have a cuppa and a sit down here and there. It was really hard for me to ask because I like being independent, but it worked so well.

Also in awe of your radiator removing skills. Go you!

WelshmansDaughter

In true WD fashion I did nothing I intended to do today. Nonetheless s**t got done. I took my time-sheet in to work so that it would be in before the deadline. I am quite proud of this, it's an awkward journey and I didn't want to book a shift that I am far too melted down to do. I went out to a local seaside town on the train and had a wander. The detour for a walk in the woods may have been an error in judgement as by the time I got back my ears were ringing and I was falling asleep. But it was a good reminder of what it feels like not to be wound incredibly tight all the time.
Money wise, I've borrowed from Teacup to pay the minimum payments which I don't feel great about. But I felt worse about the alternative so I must just be grateful that the option was there. 
I am owed a refund from the hire bike I returned so just psyching myself up to phone them after three un-returned emails. People who sell bikes are an odd breed, it's like visiting a cult with a gift shop. 
I have many things in the thought queue, thankfully I can remember none of them. 

savingholmes

Well done on the timesheet.

The wander to the seaside town sounds nice - even if you did overdo it.

Glad family were able to help.

WelshmansDaughter

Reading: Real Self Care by Pooja Lakshmin
Listening to: Reason to Stay by Olivia Dean

Phone call made. Lady on phone says refund processed last week and should be in account in 7 working days. 
Refund mysteriously appears in bank account same day. Hmmm. 
I have agreed to go on holiday in June with sister and family. And Teacup. To a caravan park. I am not sure this is a wise decision. On one hand, I get a caravan to myself. On the other hand, this is apparently a place where you have to book slots for the swimming pool. Which to my mind means crowds. I also suspect little guilt free alone time will be had while Small One is awake. 
Speaking of the small ones, a request is on the table for me to look after Very Small One one day a week when Sister Act goes back to work. I have considered it from as many angles as I can consider but am no closer to making a decision, thoughts anyone?
There are many thoughts in my thought queue and quite frankly, no time to sort through any of them. My friend has sold her flat (yay, she was worried about it) which means I need to be out by the end of April. Ideally I would be going to my own flat, I am a bit fed up of living on the surface of things. I do need my own home but struggling under the pressures at the moment. My original thinking was to complete one room for me to live in. But part of me wants to enjoy the process of building my home. I also want sustainable, non polluting options for things like insulation which doesn't come cheap. And given that I kinda hate going to work I'm thinking that the money situation has not improved. Thoughts welcome.

Cherryfudge

I love looking after DGD one day a week, but although I share the time with DH, I'm ready for a rest afterwards! On the other hand, I'm a generation older than you.

If you did take your sister up on the idea, you will be doing them a favour not only in saved nursery costs but because SO will be safe with you and if there's an emergency, things don't have to change too much. I'm not sure if the system is the same in Scotland as in England, but I think you can legitimately ask for one of the parents to donate some NI contributions to you - but I don't remember details at all so check with people who are in the know. And if you have a choice of day, choose something when there's a free pre-school activity: maybe a church or community toddler group. You wouldn't have to go every week, but it's good for the little one to meet others and play with different toys, learn to share, etc - and for you, it would give a context to your experience in terms of what other kids are doing at this stage of development, what problems other adults have and some of the solutions, places you could take SO - and somewhere to go out of the rain.

My thoughts on renovating your home? I think if you had one room 'liveable', it would be more restful than everywhere being partly done. It would take some of the urgency out of the other rooms while letting you carry on with them.

And re the holiday: perhaps a bit of homework before you go to find things in the area that you can escape to, taking SO if necessary. A beach or a library or a children's play area or a forest walk or whatever...

PennysIntoPounds

My thoughts, which you are of course welcome to ignore!

It's fantastic you have your own flat and I think focusing on making one room at a time liveable and enjoying the process at your own pace is a great idea. Big improvements can be made when you have energy to think about how to achieve them. 

Would it make work more purposeful to you if you costed what you want and knew you were working towards money in a pot for those things? And are there any government or charity grants or reductions that would bring those costs down?

Are there other roles you could look at if you're hating work? Is there a designated person or department at work who you could discuss what's making you hate it with and see if any even small adjustments can be made?

Would you feel comfortable looking after VSO one day a week? If the answer is no then the answer is no, don't try to find ways to make other peoples requests fit your preferences. If it's a maybe, try to identify what you're concerned about and discuss with your sister about what could be a back up plan/how you would both deal with it if these things occurred.
Would you be being paid for this?

If you don't want to go on the holiday then tell them before bookings are made and refunds can't be got. It's fine to not want to do something and say so. On the other hand, if you agreed then hopefully there's enough attraction in it to be worth your while. SO is not your child and you can have as much guilt free alone time as you like on your own holiday. If one has to book slots for the swimming pool at least that indicates the swimming pool won't be complete chaos!

doingitanyway

WelshmansDaughter said:

Reading: Real Self Care by Pooja Lakshmin
Listening to: Reason to Stay by Olivia Dean

I am a bit fed up of living on the surface of things. 

Wow that sentence really spoke to me today and is such a good way of expressing the feeling. Thank you.

I agree with creating one beautiful and liveable room.

Boundaries are difficult when you love the little ones (ask me how I know  ) However they are necessary so you may as well start now...