Debt and Caring

doingitanyway

Sorry to find you on a two tea bag day.
Glad you can see the priority is you as opposed to a job right now. 
I do understand how precarious life feels when you don't know where to live and need an income.
Take your time and prioritise yourself

WelshmansDaughter

Ha the two teabag days have been many DIA. 
Not least because I am in my sister's and have an adorable alarm clock that shouts Auntie! Meaning I don't stay in bed past 7am.
Plan A yesterday was to stay in bed all day. Ended up feeling quite rested before 9 so made Plan B to go look at garden buildings and check on the flat. Plan B didn't work because locked out of car club. Vaguely wandered in the direction of caravans then ended up deciding to get the train to a local town to get my library card. Had a lovely few hours pretending I was on holiday, there's a french deli there so I squinted a bit and was magically in France. At least until I went back outside and there was a betting shop across the road 🤣🤣🤣

I'm tempted to do another holiday day but I may need to get out of my sister's before my nephew gets too used to me being here. 
I'll maybe go check on the flat, haven't heard from the clearing people so I may just do it myself? I doubt it though, I walked yesterday and ended up with sore hip joints. 

Read a whole book yesterday.
Finished a domestika course.

Cherryfudge

That sounds like a good day's holiday.

Don't know when I last read a whole book in one sitting but I suspect it was years ago. The domestika courses sound interesting, do you have others to follow?

If you are tempted to clear the flat, why not go an get another library book out or do some art? Much more constructive. (When you need self care, that is).

WelshmansDaughter

Attempted a plan again today only to realise that I had left the flat keys behind. Oops. I did get to the garden centre and found the ideal shed. Sadly not at the ideal price. 
I think that may have to wait until I am more settled- it feels like it wants to be a studio space rather than an extra room. But we shall see.
I have been on house hunting sites but a) can't afford anything and b) didn't see anything I actually wanted. So I assume that means I want to stay put?
It does feel a lot like I'm just renting space in my own life.
I think it may be time to get out of the sister's house. I just don't feel welcome, unless you count my nephew. It may just be my own awkwardness but I do think they are saying stay just to be polite. 
I went in to ask about the house clearance and they hadn't even looked at the request. And architectural man has gone awol. So now I am in two minds about going with these options. It's hard to tell if it is genuine reading of the situation or just anti people and their inefficiency frustration.
I have many domestika courses Cherry, all part of my self taught art school syllabus . And the book was a non fiction about an art gallery in Cumbria. The artists were all I want to say mad as hatters but I shall say politely they were in need of support. 

Cherryfudge

Ha! There's your ideal job, @WelshmansDaughter - supervising the artists' retreat.  

Very frustrating about the lack of progress on the flat. Perhaps give it a week and if it hasn't moved on, reconsider?

If things don't feel right with your sister, but your own place is hard to stay in, could you split the time somehow? Three days in one and four in the other?

savingholmes

Families are hard and as adults we need our own space. If the charity won't come others would for free. 

Hope you find the right balance soon.

stymied

Can you make one space in your flat feel good? Try not to focus on the whole place at once. Do you have friends near by who might come and give you a bit of a hand?

Re your sister, have they been making use of you being there to have an evening out away from the children? If so I’d say you’re more than welcome!

WelshmansDaughter

Dad has been working some magic from beyond the grave (via Teacup) and enough money to cover my expenses for another month has arrived in my account.
I'd rather have Dad though.
My living situation is still precarious. I don't really know if it's paranoia on my part and they are genuinely ok with me being here. I've just asked my brother in law if he is ok with me being here another week and he said it doesn't bother him. But he is one of those people that you can't really read even if you're not autistic 🤷 
The charity were really nice and did their assessment this morning. He did his best I think but a quote of £393 is just too much for me. 
I've cancelled the appointment with the designer person. He expected to be paid in advance of doing the consultation which I am in no way comfortable with.
I had an hour in the flat sorting before the appointment and it was a bit of emotional overload. I made the mistake of reading a Very Sad Memoir about an autistic man's suicide beforehand 🤦‍♀️ Mostly I just feel sad for the Me that tried so hard and couldn't achieve anything. I think that's the worst thing about ASD for me, that the things you love/want can cause you so much pain and frustration.
I think I will end up doing the clearing myself, likely in bits. I can clear out one room to live in as stymied has mentioned and work on one. If I get the trees cut down in the Thicket then that will be clear visual progress and hopefully encouraging.
Other life moments have been thinking about getting an adapted bike like a tricycle or recumbent, getting a job in a supermarket, buying too many scratch cards and eating.
Dad 'went out for some time' two months ago tomorrow so I have no plans to do anything. We'll see how it goes. 

Cherryfudge

No More Sad Memoirs. Or at least find a happier one to read afterwards.

It's hard to take in that it's been two months. Have you thought of making your Dad a corner in your garden where you are, as you did at the other house, or would that not work? Or a rose on the windowsill, even? Not necessarily tomorrow.

And celebrate the things you can do rather than grieving what you've not yet done. To get as far as you have, there must have been many achievements. Looking after your Dad was huge and surely meant more to him than if you'd done some amazing thing but not visited him.

End of pep talk. Get yourself a cup of tea and close the door behind me with a sigh of relief ('Thank goodness she's gone!') if you feel like it.

savingholmes

You could give things away on Olio or FB. Might be a place to start.

Perhaps check out some other house clearance places. Many are free.

Two months seems to have flown. Blessings and a virtual hug for tomorrow. Glad Teacup offered some support.