Not far off.....

Keedie

Happy birthday and well done for recognising that you need a break.

It's long overdue and well deserved! You're not going into debt and a delay in debt overpayments is perfectly fine as the break will give you the reward for all you've achieved so far and enable you to prevent serious burnout. You're doing exceptionally well but you're only human. We all need time out to recharge and it's good that you're spending some time with your kids and you'll be able to relax and enjoy yourselves.

Queen_of_the_Hive

Good Morning Emma,

Happy belated birthday returns to you.

I couldn't agree more with some of the comments from others, you are an amazing woman and inspire a lot of people who are on here. Your family have been toxic and its hard to see through it and see the amazing person you are. It sounds like your man loves you a lot but is maybe not great with expressing himself. Sounds like he really wants to make a commitment to you. Honestly, go with your gut but don't let bad stuff stop the good stuff. You really do deserve better. The holiday sounds wonderful, really hope this gives you the opportunity to start to heal. From personal experience of pain its a very slow, long process and I hope this is just a start for you.

MFWannabe

[Deleted User] said:

It's been a long day today. Out of the house for 12 hours, then home, walked the dogs with my bad foot and currently working in bed. I've got OH's dog. She is enjoying sleeping with me at night. She shares the heated blanket. 

OH has phoned, gushing about his skiing trip. He's gone to bed early and his friend's son has gone into his room, whilst I was on the phone to him, to ask him to tell next door to be quiet. I told him that his friend should go out. If it kicks off then it's my OH getting a punch in his face. I told him to stay in his bed. He said he missed me, but I'm not into this planning a holiday without me then spending your time telling me how missed I am. I just don't get that.
 
Looked at my Experian credit report today and pressed a button which has increased my report by 28 points. Still dire but heading in the right direction. I want these debts to fall off my report to see what my score looks like. 

Spoke to dog gate sister today who was talking about holidays. She's spending £900pp on her holiday. She asked us to go with her. I told her that it wasn't in my budget and she said I'll regret booking something cheap. i've got a 5 star hotel in Turkey (probably more like a 4), on the beach, all inclusive, with fantastic reviews. For a few seconds I felt like a lesser person, however I need to remember that I work hard, pay for everything myself and have nobody funding me. The fact that I can take my children on holiday is an achievement and we'll have a lovely time. 

My mum asked my DD if I was missing OH and she said 'no'. She is very much like me in terms of not needing anybody. My mum commented to her that I was a very hard person. I'm happy with people thinking that of me. 

I've been feeling low for a while and this fall has tipped me into depression. I don't say that lightly as I spend my life in and out of it and so know when I'm in it. I'd normally bat it off with exercise, such as running and long walks, but with the foot not working and a hole in ny face, I'll have to find a plan B. Anybody got a plan B? 

How about a nice long bath, light some candles and some nice bubble bath 

Read a good book? What other hobbies do you have that you can still do? 

Ref the OH; he sounds like a good one; be careful you don’t push him away x I’m speaking from the same independent personality; sometimes we can be too independent x 
Theres nothing wrong with him going away and missing you; I’d be more worried if he didn’t 🤷‍♀️

warby68

Plan B - be kind(er) to yourself. Small treats and pleasures every day. Forgive yourself for not being 100%. You've had a heck of a tumble. You're allowed to be shaken up emotionally as well as physically. You're doing brilliantly with your debts, if the extra payments stall for a short while, that's also ok.

Take care, lovely lady.

Queen_of_the_Hive

Plan B - Completely second be kinder to yourself. But would something a simple as listening to some chilling / calming music help? Also does the walk have to be long? Could a shorter hobble to a cafe be an option?

Queen_of_the_Hive

Hey Emma,

Buying yourself a place for yourself and the furry friends sounds perfect and a good goal to work towards. Are you in an area where house prices are not totally crazy London prices? Wishing you all the best and enjoy the book. Sounds a bit like something I would enjoy.

Lonelygambler

Hey, nothing is fixed and we can always change things. Good luck. 

LG

dawnybabes

I totally agree with not moving in till his DD has gone - she sounds very insecure and everyone has obviously bowed to it so she’s not going to grow up anytime soon. 

AntoMac

Yes I too think you’re doing the right thing Emma. You don’t need someone else’s dramas being used to bring you down.

MFWannabe

[Deleted User] said:

Morning. OH's sister in law is visiting from Spain so  DD and myself have spent the weekend at his. Yesterday his SIL had booked breakfast and OH's DD was going out for breakfast with her friend. My DD was left on her own and so she went for breakfast then out shipping with the SIL. OH's DD has kicked off, crying that she felt left out because they had gone shopping without her, but she was already out and so I don't see the problem. She's nearly 19!

OH broached me moving into his house again. We went shopping (didn't spend any money) and he was looking at pictures. He asked me to choose some for his house and I said that it was his house and he should choose them. We then had a big debate where he was saying that he was trying to make it more like my home too. I had to tell him that I can't live with his DD. She's not movng out for a few years now she is not going to uni and so I need to make plans on my own. I try not to visit his house that often if I can help it. 

I'm sat here now in this huge house with sheep in the fields and I could have a good life here. It's semi rural and very me. However, he's got commitments and his commitments spend their time calling me to to his mother and telling lies about me so it is not going to work. 

Sending over £400 to the debts this month and picked up £90 a month extra work.  
Enjoy your Sunday  

Out of interest what was OH’s reaction to his daughter’s tantrum? 

Also did he understand when you said why you can’t move in?