Issues with 18 year old at home

Spendless

RogerBareford said:

Spendless said:

theatretony said:

Spendless said:

Put some more involvement in. You don't have to do it for them. You don't have to just leave them to it. You could guide them. 

I have guided them, I have told then which bank to go to get the CTF and where it is, as they are in the city centre more than I am, and their college is in the city centre so they can go there straight after college.  Where they need to go to get the NI Number, including maps and what they need to do, sent them details and direct numbers to get the NI number if they want to phone. They did call but got bored of waiting after 20 minutes... I have done everything possible to make it as easy as possible, but they would rather just do nothing and stay in their room. I have done as much as I can without actually doing it myself.
We know the 18 year old is lazy and would rather everyone else do things for them, and I know they can sort it out themselves MH or not.

Spend some time with them, not just verbally or on-line  telling them how to do it.  It's not working. You can't change anyone else just yourself.  Try a different approach. Take some time from work meet them after college, go for something to eat/drink and pop in at the same time to the bank together. You child will have to speak up at that point because it's their account. . Access to their CTF will help them.

Tbh I'd have also hung up the phone after waiting 20 minutes on a call.  Though a quick look tells me that NI numbers are not given over the phone, so I'm unsure what info you gave your son.

https://www.gov.uk/lost-national-insurance-number

This weekend, say to him, let's spend some time together and go through these things to help you. . 

Why would you hand up after a 20 minute wait? You just put the phone on loudspeaker and carry on with what your doing until they answer. 20 minutes isn't that long.

Personal preference to not stay on a phone longer than necessary, if I can ring at a different time and get straight through or with a shorter wait.

In this case, it wouldn't have mattered if OP's son had stayed on the line on loudspeak for the next few hours or till the place shut because a few seconds google tells me this.

HM Revenue and Customs (HMRC) will not tell you your National Insurance number over the phone. If you call them, it can take up to 15 days to get a letter with your National Insurance number.

(from their website)https://www.gov.uk/lost-national-insurance-number

This is the point I'm making the OP tells his son to do things then complains he hasn't but what he's telling him isn't correct anyway. Stop telling him and take a more hands on approach. Look together on-line, visit a bank in person

Archergirl

theatretony, You started this thread on 17th May, it's now the 29th May has anything changed?

CottonTail

Hope things have recovered a bit! Your OH needs too get a job herself and stop being so lazy.