Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask for my daughter's school-leavers' celebrations to be cheaper?



  • sarahsays
    sarahsays Posts: 36 Forumite
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Post
    The trips mine went to at Primary School seemed to be organised by the School themselves - i.e. Headteacher etc and I'm pretty sure they had a fund to cover pupils whose parents couldn't fund various things during the year, so no one was left out - it might be worth asking if there's anything like that available. Otherwise, I would be advising to scrimp and save the money between now and July, if at all possible.
  • Chumpy1962
    I'm so sorry that the school have put you in this position, some people have no grasp of reality. This takes me back to when my children were in primary school and I always had the dread of what the school would ask for next. 

    The trip is a good idea, but not the rest of it, so I would go and speak to the committee. Hopefully this will be sorted out for you, and for the other parents, as some of them will be scraping money together just to eat, never mind for stupid yearbooks.

    Good luck.
  • I think expecting people to pay £75 is bang out of order to be honest, and I don't think that you are spoiling anyone's fun by raising it - actually I think that not considering whether the cost is okay for everyone is a poor show from the committee. 

    What primary school child needs a year book or a t-shirt that they'll grow out of in 6 months? 
  • Magsy said:
    Yes definitely. There will be loads of parents who will agree with you. They won't have a better time because of t-shirts and so on and I bet several people feel the same.You don't have to make it personal just say 'worried that we are making it inaccessible for a lot of children especially this year with loads of people having been furloughed bills gone up etc. Why don't we cut back on a few things / do some fund raising/ get a sponsor or whatever' it si too much and we are all going mad as a society with princess parties and so on that kids don't really have a better time at.
    I like this approach - make it about the wider issue, and that in doing this they are potentially actively excluding parts of the school.    Right now, all this does indeed sound like a case of over the top for the sake of it.  
  • stojom
    stojom Posts: 93 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post
    Prom nights, year books, t shirts? All this Americanisation of school leaving is completely out of control. You sometimes have to tell your kids you can’t afford it, my parents did and it hurts for a while but it’s soon forgotten especially when those who went wish they hadn’t. £75, are they going to Disneyland.
  • lels_2
    As a parent committee member we try to be aware of this and keep costs down. We also allow families to contact the school anonymously if they are struggling and the parent Council will cover them. Can you suggest the kids take part in some fundraising activities? This is good for them and means parents can donate more or less according to their budget. 
  • hellosarah
    Yearbook and t-shirt can definitely do one. What a waste of resources, both in terms of money for parents and the environment! Trip would be lovely but doesn't need to cost the earth, am sure kids would be happy with a party in the school hall with their mates. I'd be in speaking to the head teacher about this for sure.
  • Spanishomelette
    Spanishomelette Posts: 82 Forumite
    First Anniversary First Post Combo Breaker
    edited 27 April 2022 at 11:08AM
    I work in a primary school and our leavers' events are organised by parents.  The simple things that worked for years to mark the end of primary school, such as a leavers' disco, a children and parents rounders match, special leaving assembly and autograph books, all provided by the school, are now not good enough for some.  In my opinion, it has got out of hand and it really makes me sad as there seems to be little or no thought given to the parents who will inevitably struggle to pay.  
  • perfectday
    I faced this exact situation a few years back.  A member of the PTA whose child was also in Yr6 offered to organise the Y6 Leavers events.  This included a party (hosted by another parent at their campsite) for which food was needed, a hoodie, a yearbook, a gift to the school and a gift for the class teaching staff all adding up to almost £100.  At the time, I was working part time in NHS and on low income as a single parent whilst trying to study for my degree so I had no spare income.  i approached the organiser who could not understand that some families did not happen to have even £10 spare in cash!  In the end, my parents helped me out but no concessions were made and I felt acutely embarrassed to even raise my own financial status with others.  The school itself had already supported my child in attending Yr6 camp (which cost nearly £300) so I didn't feel I could ask for further support.  The guilt was enormous.
    I like the idea that the class do a fundraiser to help pay costs.  Our PTA also put in £10 per child so maybe an application to the PTA here could be helpful.  It should not be up to the parent facing financial hardship to raise their predicament with the school or with PTA or committee.  Thought should be given to this by those organising, especially in current times.
    My child mostly enjoyed the party (but it wasn't all accessible to her), the yearbook she still looks at but the hoodie is at the bottom of her wardrobe...
  • jawspaws
    I suspect that many other parents feel the same but it's having  the courage to voice it. They would probably thank you if you did. I despair at all these expensive trends that have come across from US - proms  etc.. Each one has to outdo the previous one. When I  left secondary school we just wrote our names in indelible pen (we didn't  have Sharpies then) on each others school shirts and even  the teachers signed. We might have had some food, but it all cost next to nothing. Go fot it, be a pioneer
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