Money Moral Dilemma: Should I ask for my daughter's school-leavers' celebrations to be cheaper?

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  • thedaftbird
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    I am organising my childrens Year 6 party. Attendance is optional. Its £20 to go which includes a disco and photo booth. 
    The Hoodies and year books are optional and some people have chosen one of them, some people have opted out of both. All in it came to £40 (party hoodie and yearbook) so it sounds like a total rip off at £75. we also offered payment plans since January for a July party. The only thing we are asking of parents is to bring one dish of food each for a buffet. £75 is outrageous
  • daivid
    daivid Posts: 1,239 Forumite
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    I think all those saying the school is being ridiculous/out of order are jumping to potentially unfair conclusions. The dilemma as presented doesn't say either way if the school is involved at all in the committee, it could be the PTA which the school should be involved with equally it could be a self-appointed group of parents of y6 pupils with no involvement of the school staff. 

    A school near me puts on a disco and buys hoodies for the leavers (I believe payed for by the PTA, but if not it would be a total cost of about £25). Pre covid however successive parents of leavers seemed to want to out do the year before and took it upon themselves to arrange 'enhancements', one year it was a open top bus toor of the village prior to the disco, the next all children arrived by limo. I knew some of the school staff, they were waiting for the year children arrived by helicopter… The school has a mixed catchment too, some very affluent parents and others not, not to mention never really knowing who has disposable income and the extra difficulty for any parents of twins. £75 seems a lot, I would hope the trip is truly worth it!
  • supergran40
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    This is outrageous. It’s a major event in the children’s lives and no child should be left out. Let’s get something clear – children most definitely will remember not being able to go, which is precisely why it should be affordable, somehow, either fund assistance or parents.

    No reason why the extras should be compulsory but the coach trip will be more than you’d expect with fuel prices as they are.

    This minds me of children’s birthday parties, where kids can’t go because they have to spend £10 on a present, and some families can’t host one because they have to spend £10 on a present for each guest. What the kids enjoy is being together and having fun. Let’s get back to ground zero





  • Hobgoblin_2
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    Education should be socially  inclusive. This proposal is exclusive , which is amoral and divisive.
    Children wear school uniforms for example , to give the school a corporate identity and to make all children feel an equal part. There are then no children with £200 Nike trainers who carry the receipts for them in their back pockets and others on free school meals who wear only Primark. ( Happened at the school I taught in during the 80’s)
    I have a thought that this £75 may also carry a hidden contribution to the school funds or the fund of the PTA. Not unheard of!
  • witchone
    witchone Posts: 9 Forumite
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    All schools have a hardship fund to help poorer parents 'keep up' talk to the head mistress or head master, it's what it's there for. I had a couple new school shirts provided for. They won't pat it all but will help with some towards it. 

  • REJP
    REJP Posts: 325 Forumite
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    I would want to know exactly what the trip is going to be.   If I really could not afford the cost I would do what others have suggested, that is don't have the silly T shirts or year books.  Does the trip involve costs of coaches or trains, meals and entry to an "attraction" somewhere?  There is not enough information in the question for outsiders on this forum to give realistic replies.
  • gothvixen
    gothvixen Posts: 37 Forumite
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    My sons went for cheap children's meals at a local family pub with playground when they left primary school. £75 is ludicrous, as are trips, T-shirts and year books. Nobody has to provide children with the cumulative equivalent of what they missed for 2 years, that's a crazy way of thinking. It's primary school. This Americanisation of education just devalues achievements. Graduation used to be reserved for degrees, now they have ceremonies for leaving nursery. It's all nonsense. Write to the committee and the school, explain that people may be in difficult financial positions and this cost is extortionate and unreasonable. There will be a large number of parents feeling guilty and worried about this imposition, and other parents have no right to decide upon this charge. I taught in secondary schools for 17 years and saw how the financial pressure for prom attendance caused problems for many students. Somebody needs to have the decency and guts to stand up to those who think £75 is reasonable and bring them back to reality.
  • honestcove
    honestcove Posts: 78 Forumite
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    Perhaps we could be a bit more mindful please of people who put themselves forward to set up and run these events in their spare time, for no pay, for others benefits. If you don’t like what they are doing, then you can always step-up and volunteer to do it yourself.
    The State is actively pushing to increase the volunteer sector and the directional of travel is clear - some essential services that you and your loved ones rely on today and are provided by the State for a cost, might be reliant on the goodwill of volunteers in the future.
  • Gemmie57
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    I think you ought to raise this with them.. You will not be the only parent who has difficulty with this, so many others will probably be relieved that someone has raised this difficulty.
  • Thrugelmir
    Thrugelmir Posts: 89,546 Forumite
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    Perhaps we could be a bit more mindful please of people who put themselves forward to set up and run these events in their spare time, for no pay, for others benefits. If you don’t like what they are doing, then you can always step-up and volunteer to do it yourself.
    The State is actively pushing to increase the volunteer sector and the directional of travel is clear - some essential services that you and your loved ones rely on today and are provided by the State for a cost, might be reliant on the goodwill of volunteers in the future.
    Let's keep on topic and not make this a political debate. Growing wealth inequality and the grotesque Americanisation of UK culture is unwelcome. 
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