Parents being too 'Tight'

Ath_Wat

Sea_Shell said:

It's not your problem...yet!

You could find in the future that it very much becomes your "problem".

One day that property will probably need to sold.

Depending on the circumstances, that might mean selling it quickly to developers for "peanuts" (relatively), or you having to organise all the works so as to maximize its value.

Have they granted you (someone) POA yet?

None of this is anybody's business other than the parents, who own the house.

It seems odd to say "Have they granted you POA yet", as though it's inevitable they will at some point.  Most people never need to.

Keep_pedalling

Ath_Wat said:

Sea_Shell said:

It's not your problem...yet!

You could find in the future that it very much becomes your "problem".

One day that property will probably need to sold.

Depending on the circumstances, that might mean selling it quickly to developers for "peanuts" (relatively), or you having to organise all the works so as to maximize its value.

Have they granted you (someone) POA yet?

None of this is anybody's business other than the parents, who own the house.

It seems odd to say "Have they granted you POA yet", as though it's inevitable they will at some point.  Most people never need to.

Most people don’t turn out to need LPA, the trouble is no one knows who will and who won’t and the consequences of not making one will cause major issues for those trying to mange the finances and health care of a loved one who loses capacity because they have been involved in an accident or have been struck down by an illness that takes away their mental capacity.

Every responsible adult should have LPAs in place and not leave it until their dotage.

Pollycat

Keep_pedalling said:

Ath_Wat said:

Sea_Shell said:

It's not your problem...yet!

You could find in the future that it very much becomes your "problem".

One day that property will probably need to sold.

Depending on the circumstances, that might mean selling it quickly to developers for "peanuts" (relatively), or you having to organise all the works so as to maximize its value.

Have they granted you (someone) POA yet?

None of this is anybody's business other than the parents, who own the house.

It seems odd to say "Have they granted you POA yet", as though it's inevitable they will at some point.  Most people never need to.

Most people don’t turn out to need LPA, the trouble is no one knows who will and who won’t and the consequences of not making one will cause major issues for those trying to mange the finances and health care of a loved one who loses capacity because they have been involved in an accident or have been struck down by an illness that takes away their mental capacity.

Every responsible adult should have LPAs in place and not leave it until their dotage.

Yes, better to have it in place and not need it rather than not having it in place and having to go the Court of Protection route because someone lacks capability and there is no POA in place.
More expensive and lengthy process for the people having to go through it (often your immediate family) than sitting down and thinking about how you want your health & wealth managed if you are not capable.

I agree that it is not the OP's problem about the state of the house other than the understandable concern about things that may harm the parents' health (mould) or compromise their safety (broken locks) - but it is still their choice to live like that.

Newly_retired

 My parents were a bit similar, though they were not rich, but they could have afforded to do more than they did eg redecorate after flooding. Their house was sold after they died, needing new windows, rewiring, central heating, new kitchen as a minimum. Priced accordingly, but sold easily enough. They could have been so much more comfortable in their old age though, which I am sure is in the OPs mind as well.

squirrelchops2

My MIL is not tight as she has spent money on tthe house in recent years getting a new kitchen and boiler and will frequently spend on  clothes, holidays etc  however she recently said she is not spending any more money on the house, she is late 70s and FIL is 90.

However, although on the surface the house looks in good condition having stayed there recently it has become apparent that the electrics need doing and although the boiler was changed the radiators need changing as are the originals from when the house was built over 40 years ago. Then there are other smaller jobs eg decorating, carpeting etc.

She could live another 20 years and I do worry what condition the electrics and heating system will be like in that time. In my opinion she would have been better off getting this sorted now rather than some of the other spends she has made but there we go, it is her decision and, should this need to happen we will make it. 

My point really is, that there seems to come a time where some older people just dont want to spend money on something they don't really see as a benefit anymore....

Pollycat

squirrelchops2 said:

My MIL is not tight as she has spent money on tthe house in recent years getting a new kitchen and boiler and will frequently spend on  clothes, holidays etc  however she recently said she is not spending any more money on the house, she is late 70s and FIL is 90.

However, although on the surface the house looks in good condition having stayed there recently it has become apparent that the electrics need doing and although the boiler was changed the radiators need changing as are the originals from when the house was built over 40 years ago. Then there are other smaller jobs eg decorating, carpeting etc.

She could live another 20 years and I do worry what condition the electrics and heating system will be like in that time. In my opinion she would have been better off getting this sorted now rather than some of the other spends she has made but there we go, it is her decision and, should this need to happen we will make it. 

My point really is, that there seems to come a time where some older people just dont want to spend money on something they don't really see as a benefit anymore....

Their money, their choice.

The OP has tried to help find companies but his Dad says he wants to do it himself.
As long as the OP has explained the potential pitfalls of engaging a 'cowboy builder', he should leave them to it.
The OP himself says they don't seem to want his input or help with anything. 
He should respect that.

squirrelchops2

Pollycat said:

squirrelchops2 said:

My MIL is not tight as she has spent money on tthe house in recent years getting a new kitchen and boiler and will frequently spend on  clothes, holidays etc  however she recently said she is not spending any more money on the house, she is late 70s and FIL is 90.

However, although on the surface the house looks in good condition having stayed there recently it has become apparent that the electrics need doing and although the boiler was changed the radiators need changing as are the originals from when the house was built over 40 years ago. Then there are other smaller jobs eg decorating, carpeting etc.

She could live another 20 years and I do worry what condition the electrics and heating system will be like in that time. In my opinion she would have been better off getting this sorted now rather than some of the other spends she has made but there we go, it is her decision and, should this need to happen we will make it. 

My point really is, that there seems to come a time where some older people just dont want to spend money on something they don't really see as a benefit anymore....

Their money, their choice.

The OP has tried to help find companies but his Dad says he wants to do it himself.
As long as the OP has explained the potential pitfalls of engaging a 'cowboy builder', he should leave them to it.
The OP himself says they don't seem to want his input or help with anything. 
He should respect that.

I agree...for me it is just that my inlaws or rather MIL will spend money on seemingly needless items but things that are a priority eg electrics etc are left. As you said it is their choice and if the time comes my partner or I would sort out getting it done for them.

Pollycat

squirrelchops2 said:

Pollycat said:

squirrelchops2 said:

My MIL is not tight as she has spent money on tthe house in recent years getting a new kitchen and boiler and will frequently spend on  clothes, holidays etc  however she recently said she is not spending any more money on the house, she is late 70s and FIL is 90.

However, although on the surface the house looks in good condition having stayed there recently it has become apparent that the electrics need doing and although the boiler was changed the radiators need changing as are the originals from when the house was built over 40 years ago. Then there are other smaller jobs eg decorating, carpeting etc.

She could live another 20 years and I do worry what condition the electrics and heating system will be like in that time. In my opinion she would have been better off getting this sorted now rather than some of the other spends she has made but there we go, it is her decision and, should this need to happen we will make it. 

My point really is, that there seems to come a time where some older people just dont want to spend money on something they don't really see as a benefit anymore....

Their money, their choice.

The OP has tried to help find companies but his Dad says he wants to do it himself.
As long as the OP has explained the potential pitfalls of engaging a 'cowboy builder', he should leave them to it.
The OP himself says they don't seem to want his input or help with anything. 
He should respect that.

I agree...for me it is just that my inlaws or rather MIL will spend money on seemingly needless items but things that are a priority eg electrics etc are left. As you said it is their choice and if the time comes my partner or I would sort out getting it done for them.

Maybe those needless things are things that please her.
My Mum & Dad used to enjoy visiting garden centres and car boots and bought what a lot of people would class as 'needless' (and some would call 'tat'.
But it gave them pleasure.
Certainly much more pleasure than having a new bathroom or kitchen.

Newly_retired

Sometimes it is the disruption that is offputting. We need rooms redecorating but have so much. Stuff and nowhere to put it, will need help to move it too.

DairyQueen

it concerns me that we (i.e. 'society') challenge the decisions of those over 70. Would anyone dream of challenging a 40-year-old who lived in a superficially neglected home? No, of course not.

70-somethings have much more experience of life than their children/grandchildren. Few people lose capacity as they age so stop treating the majority that don't as if they are as imbecilic.

I may not agree with my parents view on home decoration but I see their logic. Makes perfect sense. If you are likely to only live another 5/10 years then why on earth invest mega-money in home refurbs.

Perhaps younger generations have an eye on the inheritance value of parents' home more than the best interests of parents?