My Sister Really Annoys Me

Nicki

Anniek1969 wrote: »

I keep reminding myself that when i'm her age (she's 7 years older than me) i'll be debt free, all girls will be at school and i'll be able to go back to work.

See that's where you're going wrong You don't need to be reminding yourself of this, you need to be reminding her, every opportunity you get!

I bet it will really nark her to keep having it rubbed in that you are 7 years younger than her, and that by the time you are the same age that she currently is, you will be so much better off than she is. She sounds like the kind of insecure person who would lose sleep over this. Shame!

ceridwen

... good advice from every single person to date. You just let her lead her life - and you lead yours.

At least you arent putting in 2 workweeks of hours in your job every week (70 hours!!!!!:eek: ) - unlike her.

You've got to get your priorities sorted - and it sounds to me like you have yours worked out. What she does about hers (priorities!) is her business.

sharon59

just wanted to add my hugs-l have a sister who loves to pretend she has a fantastic life-she diets constantly and piles on make up to look younger-unfortunatly she only ends up looking haggard-meow-makes barbed comments and everything has an exclusive name or huge price tag-her house is like a show house.Yet she has a partner who wont marry her-is jealous of her ex hubby,hates her job-as noone likes her-her words-as she knows better-never sees her kids-well my house is a Home-happy dusty full of laughter and love so l know where l prefer-and your sister like mine would really want what we have got-jealousy is an awful thing.
Sit back and enjoy your family and home youhave worked hard for it and deserve it-dont allow her to spoil it!!!
you sound like you are doing a fab job!!!have a great christmas!
sharonx

Ellidee

Hi Annie just wanted to suggest that the next time your sis has a go at you try saying to her ' You must be very insecure if you have to belittle me so that you can feel big'

misty

Anytime she says anything you don't like just chant out loud to her "You're rude and in debt, you're rude and in debt, your rude and in debt" getting ever increasingly louder until you can't hear her. She sounds mean spirited and this is probably because she is miserable despite all "things" she has.

I have a friend whose house is constantly in what is at best a bit of tip - she makes me look like I'm house proud and believe me I'm not. The thing about her house is that it is always full of people - family, friends - everyday - because it is a happy house - where you're made welcome and have a great time. People go to see her not her house - and even if she was inclined to tidy up a bit she'd have chance to see as many people as she does at the moment.

teacup_2

Hi Annie I would much rather come to your house for a cup of tea!, I am into car boot sales etc , bargains and love real earthy sort of the earth people.
The Jones type no thanks! can be quite rigid in their thinking my hubby works with a lady and he offered her a mince pie it was a somerfield one and she asked which shop they were from !She said she only eats Marks & Spencers ones!. He just said oh they are all probably made in the same factory. I thought how sad !.
Its like christmas we buy the kids one main present from santa and a few smaller ones not spending more than £50.00 and sometimes less. I know people who spend between £200.00 and £500.00 on their kids and I think how over the top , and even if i did have more money I wouldnt spend that, it doesnt mean I love them less. I just want them to realize christmas is a time for familys to be together and watch films etc and have a nice dinner and yeah that lady called Mary !!!. No seriously I wouldnt want to be a Jones and find people who have less finacially have a bit more flair when it comes to making the pennys stretch and I think maybe your sister does envy you in a way as its not the top of your list what her lifestyle is to her and maybe she would rather be more like you as you are not bothered by what bothers her to a certain extent if you know what i mean. She is probably stressed by keeping it all up x

antronella

I think it sounds as though your sister is trying to compensate for her not very good marriage by possessions. She is probably also secretly worried about her mounting debts and would feel better if you were in the same position.Her debts will catch up with her one day. Just tell her that people are different and your priorities are different. I once nursed an old lady who was in the final stage of life. She said to me..that when you know your time is up...you never think of the possessions you owned..the lovely car, the fantastic house and furniture....but you think of the people you have loved and who love you in return....that is priceless! Keep up the good work..and be proud of your family and your home filled with love x

Anniek1969

Misty it's funny you saying that about your friends house because my house is always busy. They often comment about it being like Sauchiehall Street (those who live in Glasgow will know what I mean) because the doors alway going with my daughters friends and the phones always ringing. My DH's family call it the glue pot because when they visit they can't get out, I take this as a compliment because it means that our true friends enjoy the atmosphere when they visit and the surroundings are not important.

paddy's_mum

Annie - I agree with what almost everyone has said about your sister's cleverly cloaked unhappiness, insecurity and monumental debt. However, what nobody has yet suggested is that you could gently distance yourself from her.

Unless you love her too much to cut down on the visits, why not become somewhat unavailable the next time she wants to call on you. You've got flu coming on/tickets to a local show/commitment to help at the ?/promised to visit an elderly neighbour - whatever fib you think you can get away with that will mean that your sister can't visit you whenever she thinks she will.

Rationing her visits might take some of the pressure off you (and poor hubby, who is probably frightened of upsetting either or both of you!), and make you feel that you are more firmly in control.

You may find that being not quite so amenable could lead her to ask if she has done something to upset you? That is the time to politely (or not, depending how you feel at that moment) explain that you simply refuse to suffer any more of her put-downs. "I don't do it to you and I expect you to stop doing it to me - have I made myself clear?" Good luck - it's not pleasant being somebody's target!

Anniek1969

Hi Paddy's Mum, fortunately I only see her every few weeks because she lives so far away and she's always at work. Her DH will come up himself though and sits all day, he expects you to drop everything so that you will be in for him and when I say i'm not going to be in he goes in a mood and won't phone or visit for about a week.

I did lose it with her a few years ago and told her to stop finding fault with everything I do and her answer to that was she's only looking out for me as I don't have a mum, I think she forgets that i'm 38 and can look after myself.