House purchase, relatives items left in, now involving solicitor

Jude57

Norman_Castle said:

Take the stuff to her in small amounts. A few hours every few days should shift it all. You'll get areas of your home cleared for you to use and she'll have to find somewhere to store stuff she doesn't really want.

Deliver it back to her while wearing her clothes.

Thank you for the much-needed snort/chuckle!

oystercatcher

There's complicated emotional stuff going on here. I wonder if auntie thought she should inherit the whole house as she is the only surviving child ? 
I think , if you can, you need to distance yourself from emotion and get on with life. The 'stuff' is pobably best moved in small loads. Maybe just deliver one bag or box a day , leave it on the doorstep and walk away . If you want to twist the knife then start with the things of least value and the rubbush first. Does the baby still wake in the night ? If other half can manage then maybe that's the time to nip around , up to you if you knock on the door ? I would want to keep the peace so just leave things silently late at night or early in the morning when she won't be awake to confront you. Bit by bit you will regain your space and hopefully the emotion will die down.
If you can add value to the house then plan this and move away and put everything behind you. It sounds like there are too many memories and emotions attached to this house.

GaleSF63

I think it was all said in the first reply by HampshireH.

Flugelhorn

HampshireH said:

Your arguing over items in the house that you could go and put on her doorstep? 

Why don't you just take them round there if she literally lives right next to you?

Bag in into bin liners and drop them round? Surely that's the best approach rather than costing you thousands in legals costs

I'm probably missing something here but I'm not sure what.

Get blinds you can leave half open half closed so you still get light but they are always across the window

absolutely

rinse and repeat

Titus_Wadd

Nothing much to add except- families are weird.  My own family and my in-laws...there are layers of resentment, chips on shoulders and petty squabbles layer upon super-laminated layer that can't now be separated, so I'm sending OP positive vibes (I've got 2 left) because window blinds and a wheel barrow seem like practical solutions but we don't know the full family history.

I think I'd probably deliver the goods piecemeal just as it comes without sorting it.  By leaving her stuff in the house Auntie is maintaining a link and a control that you might want to sever.  You're not doing her donkey work if you have to drop off boxes and bin-bags of her stuff, you're freeing yourself and your home.  Plan something good to improve the room that had her stuff in it, even if it's just being able to vacuum the whole carpet for the first time, or paint the walls.  Reclaim your space and do what the hell you like with it, life is too short.  Keep planning the next stage to convert Grandma's home into yours; you won't lose the happy memories.  Convert it into the home that works for your family now.

Final stage, don't teach your kids to bear grudges; if they ask "who is that strange lady staring at us?" just tell them she's you aunt.

MysteryMe

Very unfortunate situation. Losing mum is naturally upsetting and stressful and in an ideal world families would get along. Except they often don't, especially where money is concerned. So I do sympathize with you OP but if you truly want to focus on your son you need to stop giving focus to your aunt. Some battles are worth fighting, a transit van full of crap isn't one of them. Just take the stuff over and don't give her the reaction she will expect from you. Be polite with her and then move on with your life with a clear conscience.