Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

savingholmes

I think pet grief is less taboo and more spoken of and shared than grief for people. I think in this country we expect people to crack on straight after the funeral - where really that is when the grieving starts. I have grieved deeply for people in the past  - with anniversaries being particularly triggering. 

I hope you have a lovely day out tomorrow.

beanielou

Pension credits for MIL when need be. 

beanielou

Oh & look at Donna Ashworth for reading. 

skint_spice

Enjoy your day out and the barn dance, hopefully the rest will do you good!

KajiKita

Thanks @beanielou, I have said to Mr KK that MiL needs a session with CAB, but that doesn’t have to be yet. Donna Ashworth …? 🤔 Thank you 😊

@skint_spice, it will do us both good to have a change of scene. Apparently Mr KK needs new motorcycling gloves as the ones he has are 30 years old and a bit too bit to be comfortable, so I hope the shop there comes up trumps for him 🤞

2nd load of washing sloshing around in the machine (after I miss-set my alarm to 4,30am! 😳🙄😢😂) 

KK

Watty1

i think pet grief was ignored for so long that talking about it became normalised and now is recognised.  

I remember a friend saying she grieved for her dog more than her father because her dog was there by her side every day and she struggled when that was no longer possible.    Whereas with people none of us know what to say so we don't and we just want everyone to get 'over it' so we don't have to engage.  I think it really is the same with animals.  For months I opened and shut a pony' s stable door because I could not bear that he was gone and yet no one wanted to talk to me about that.  My grief was too raw and real.

Humdinger1

@KajiKita so sorry about La Belle Floof.   I've heard that when the day comes, they lead us over the rainbow bridge.  Then there are no more partings love Humdinger xx 

Merlin's_Beard

Watty1 said:

i think pet grief was ignored for so long that talking about it became normalised and now is recognised.  

I remember a friend saying she grieved for her dog more than her father because her dog was there by her side every day and she struggled when that was no longer possible.    Whereas with people none of us know what to say so we don't and we just want everyone to get 'over it' so we don't have to engage.  I think it really is the same with animals.  For months I opened and shut a pony' s stable door because I could not bear that he was gone and yet no one wanted to talk to me about that.  My grief was too raw and real.

I think there's definitely a lot more resources to help people these days (blue cross, Ralph site etc) than there was 10 years ago, although I think there's a lot of people that have got side eye if they need e.g. compassionate leave for a pet as well - we talk about it easily but when people need real tangible support it's often not there.

But as you say, often pets are a realer and more consistent presence in our life (and often shape our day with their needs and their schedule) than most humans except the ones we live with, so their loss often leaves a massive hole in our days.

Brie

I think it's a case of sharing stories with pets that isn't necessarily done with people.  So if you're sad and you say you miss Floof doing xxxxx someone else will say "Oh I know what you mean, mine did that and also vvvv" and you are both off on a load of memories that make you laugh and cry.  We're less likely to do that with people for some dumb reason.  

@KajiKita
I'm sure you know someone who works for CA or a similar organisation that might be able to simply advise on pension credits or other benefits MiL might be entitled to.  In fact if you plug her info in to the website entitledto without FiL's info you might get something that helps.

KajiKita

Humdinger1 said:

@KajiKita so sorry about La Belle Floof.   I've heard that when the day comes, they lead us over the rainbow bridge.  Then there are no more partings love Humdinger xx 

That’s a really lovely idea … that would mean I will have four very different cats waiting for me 😊❤️

@Watty1, sorry to hear about your pony. I know it was a while ago but the gap remains even if the pain dulls. 

@Merlin’s_beard, @Brie - yes to all of that 😊
Thanks for the suggestion of looking at ‘entitled to’ - I’ve not heard of it before as I am entitled to nothing whatsoever! 😉

We’ve had a good day out but I’m tired now. We will go our separate ways at 4pm - Mr KK to wrestle to groceries delivery and me to do the penultimate English lesson! 🥳
Found gloves, boots and armoured jeans for Mr KK to use with his bike - fairly eye watering cost, but it will make him happy and he will pay me half back! 

We had lunch out - not amazing but at least no cooking or washing up and Mr KK happy as he got to look at planes and them squawking on his radar tracker in real time! 😂😂

Simple tea of scrambled eggs on toast planned, and then we will go down to the barn dance. Hope it’s fun … 😉

KK