Mortgage free in Forever Home :-)

KajiKita

skint_spice said:

Well I am glad you have been unwinding despite the issues with your mother.

Yes, I just shows me how hard I find work and how much it takes from me. I need to find better ways of managing that. 

KK

KajiKita

Do not. I repeat, DO NOT buy this …. It is lethally good! 😉😂 (And no palm oil! )

KK

SandyShores

KajiKita said:

........shows me how hard I find work and how much it takes from me. I need to find better ways of managing that. 

KK

I'm with you on this, my new years resolution is to manage this better so I can leave work at work.

KajiKita

SandyShores said:

KajiKita said:

........shows me how hard I find work and how much it takes from me. I need to find better ways of managing that. 

KK

I'm with you on this, my new years resolution is to manage this better so I can leave work at work.

Please do share your learnings on this 🙏

KK

Watty1

Glad you had a relaxing day. Sorry about your mum tho. So hard watching/hearing those behaviours and knowing there is little you can do..

Brie

I think the thing that worries me about my mother's bad behaviour is how much I see her in myself.  I get the impression this is not an issue for you as you have ways of coping she doesn't have.  

I wonder how much of her current expression of anger is due to not having an outlet for it?  Some people like to complain, others like to control or scold their children (which she can't do sufficiently if you're not there every day).  Others go out in the garden and take out frustration with some furious pruning.  When I was going through a particularly bad patch I was fortunate to have been given an axe which I used for splitting logs.  It was great exercise as well as a wonderful way to visualise ridding myself of the nasty bits of my life.  

KajiKita

Thanks @Watty1 and @Brie, I appreciate your support. 

I have done years of work on myself (not saying I am perfect however!) including counselling, martial arts, Buddhist training, shamanic training etc etc. My mother has many bitter resentments that stem from her earliest years right up to now and she still carries *every*, single, one …. For me it’s a testament to her strength of will that she hasn’t yet been crushed by them. But, they do make her unhappy and that is what is hard to see. I wonder if part of the reason she would never consider engaging with any health improving things (change of diet, exercise, counselling etc etc) is because she is hoping she will die quite soon. I do get quite a sense of existential weariness from her, though she doesn’t really say much. I think that’s why we are not allowed to visit as she fears she wouldn’t be able to sustain her ‘front’ any more and we would ‘see’ her as she actually is. Very hard on my dad …. in spite of his obliviousness. 

KK

KajiKita

Had a big, busy day in the garden 😊
Got the cut flower border and the path next to it cleared before lunch, then  riddled the last of the compost from the first dalek after lunch and spread it on the bed. Then helped Mr KK clear the rubble and scaffolding tower from under one of the new lounge windows. Most of that has been loaded into my the back of my poor little car ready for the tip run on Thursday 😊 (we realised on Christmas Eve that after all the administrative hoops we’d jumped through to get tip passes for Mr KK’s van we are going to have to start again with his new one …. Sigh 🙄😉 That’s a job for the new year 🤷‍♀️😊). 

Before:

After:


Broad beans are starting to grow, in all directions! 😉



KK

redofromstart

Pretty clear soil, I like very much. 

KajiKita

redofromstart said:

Pretty clear soil, I like very much. 

Thanks Redo 😊
One of my aims for 2024 is to really get to grips with the veggie patch this year. Posting here about it to hold me accountable…. 😉

KK