Pay off mortgage and start having even more fun 😁

Bargainhunter30

Loving all the comments recently on your diary NG. Lurker here but haven't been reading diaries as much recently because someone mentioned on another diary the podcast of Remit Sethi 'I will teach you to be rich'. He also filmed a Netflix series and has a book.

He is brilliant and I'm obsessed, so much that I'm trying to change a lifetime of frugality. He believes you shouldn't live a smaller life by being frugal, but spend excessively on the things you love and save on the unimportant things. He has money conversations with couples to try and help solve their issues - usually extreme frugality, massive debt or beliefs from childhood. I love listening to people talk about their personal finances - probably why most of us come here. Any way I definitely recommend you have a listen, I think you will like his views.

https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/

daisy_1571

Have a fantastic holiday ng

Daisy xx

daisy_1571

Bargainhunter30 said:

Loving all the comments recently on your diary NG. Lurker here but haven't been reading diaries as much recently because someone mentioned on another diary the podcast of Remit Sethi 'I will teach you to be rich'. He also filmed a Netflix series and has a book.

He is brilliant and I'm obsessed, so much that I'm trying to change a lifetime of frugality. He believes you shouldn't live a smaller life by being frugal, but spend excessively on the things you love and save on the unimportant things. He has money conversations with couples to try and help solve their issues - usually extreme frugality, massive debt or beliefs from childhood. I love listening to people talk about their personal finances - probably why most of us come here. Any way I definitely recommend you have a listen, I think you will like his views.

https://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com/podcast/

Thanks for this bargainhunter that kinda sums up ng diary title,  think ill pop over and have a read

Daisy xx

newgirly

I went veggie at 11 too! 😬

Thanks bargain hunter, I shall take a look at that! Need some things to watch and listen to while on sea days 😊 it sounds interesting and something to think about as I think it’s easy to become extreme at both ends of spectrum spending wise. I guess if you are single it’s not a problem either way as long as you are not struggling with debt etc, or if you are both on the same page financially. I’m not yet sure if dh and I are, So far he’s let me take charge and overpay to reach the end of the mortgage rainbow 😆 when we finally get there, I sense it may get a little trickier with regards to what comes next! I want to keep the personal spending down to sane levels, however I wonder if dh feels the same 😬

LadyWithAPlan

Yes lots of great discussions on here about finances 
I am really appreciating all the advice and wisdom on buying, size of deposits as well as frugal wisdom here .. it’s a pity it’s not more widely discussed but talking to money with family and friends can feel difficult as it throws up disparaties in income inheritances and lifestyle 
don’t buy stuff is my new  mantra  

daisy_1571

With regards to each of you wanting different spending levels i would always recommend 'pocket money' accounts.   Some money that goes into each of your accounts each month that you can spend on whatever you want.   We have that and the rest of the money is joint.  All the boring bills stuff plus the savings towards holidays, house maintenance, car and bike costs etc is allocated out within the joint account and kept track of in my spreadsheet. We realised years ago that its nice to have your 'own' money so set up this system and it works well. 

If you mean he would be wanting to be spending thousands, not a tenner on a couple of magazines, then that will require something different.   Although up till now I get the impression hes never very bothered about spending?   Do you think he's been putting stuff off?  

Dxx

themadvix

Bargainhunter30 said:

He believes you shouldn't live a smaller life by being frugal, but spend excessively on the things you love and save on the unimportant things. 

I think he's spot on here. I don't think 'frugal' has to mean hair shirts etc. - for me it's a mindset where nothing is wasted/the answer isn't necessarily to go and buy whatever you think you need, but to think about alternatives: have you got something you can 'shop from home' that would do/work? do you really need it or is there another way the same result could be achieved without xxx? Can you reuse something of yours/someone elses (via Olio/Freegle/Freecycle/FBMP/Ebay)? - all these solutions both save money and the planet *and* I think you get huge amounts of satisfaction from achieving the goals without just buying whatever it is straightaway.

This frees up money to spend on those important things and isn't a small life mindset but a plenty mindset as you realise how many resources you already have.

Agree with Daisy about personal spending money (not that it's something we practice, but it seems to work for a lot of people!).

newgirly

Lady with a plan, I think you are right what you say about it being a tricky subject to talk about with friends and family, sometimes I’ve felt judged by my parents - sometimes for being too frugal - why overpay the mortgage, and sometimes for booking so many holidays 😆 Different priorities, my grandparents bought lots of art and had a nice home but never travelled at all, his brother lived an a small council house and travelled the world for years and he was very much judged. 

Daisy, I think dh has been looking forward to blowing some money when we are mortgage free, it’s been along time coming and he has earned it, but I need to make sure it’s short term waste 😆

Vix, your green ways are sinking in I think, I’m seriously considering not buying any new clothes for a year 😱 

daisy_1571

Yes, I understand that. 

Best way is to acknowledge you both want to do this, allow for it, discuss a figure you are both happy with and get that into your individual pocket money accounts.  Then you can each splurge, spend or save that money, no judgement.  (Theres a chance he will be slightly more measured if it 'his' money rather than 'household' money which will feel like 'free' money.  I know Mr daisy was a spendy spender but when he gets an idea in his head about something he wants and saves towards it including selling some of his bits and pieces, once he gets to the figure, he often decides he'd rather not spend his lovely savings after all.  Quite a turnaround.)

themadvix

newgirly said:

Vix, your green ways are sinking in I think, I’m seriously considering not buying any new clothes for a year 😱 

It's easier than you think! I really resent paying full price for things now and I buy better quality too because it's more affordable secondhand.

Totally get that Mr NG wants to splurge a bit when it's gone - it's been a loooong time coming. But I think Daisy has a good idea there. I also think it would be worth discussing what that might look like now - what is it he wants to splurge on? Not so you can judge him or dissuade him, but so you know what the plan is and he can think it over beforehand - there's no point splurging and then regretting it.