Rolling Down the Green Hill Towards REtirement 😊🌄💚💜

Jessy103

Brilliant news on the clear mammogram! ❤

Tahlullah.H

Hi GT.  Hope all is well.

newgirly

Hi greent, I hope everything is ok ❤️

South_coast

Hope you're well greent x

Tahlullah.H

HI GT,  thinking of you.  Hope all is well.  Tx

greent

Afternoon, you lovely lot 

A massively long absence from me this year - life was just too busy and I didn't have the mental headspace for virtually anything outside of work. Crazily busy year at work, with a member of staff off long term (May - Dec and part time at points before then, in reality) and no extra staff taken on. Huge learning curve for me over the summer - at the busiest point of the year for my job! Was mentally & physically exhausted and told work there was no way I could do that again (was paid for the equivalent of an extra 6 weeks of full time work) - was told it would be sorted. Long story short - it's not been. They've offered me a grade rise, but no extra help - no chance. I've said I'll keep my current role (stepping back to original role) and grade - and that I want the boundaries of what my job is crystallised (I was always doing a lot of someone else's job - I had the job description given to me when I had the grade/ job on a temporary basis for 3 months - I was already doing the majority of it even before the other person went off - and let's not forget that I was doing that having come back from cancer treatment - so had physical and mental issues and worked through my radiotherapy (h3ll, I went back to work 2 weeks after my final chemo - at about 30hrs/ week for a couple of weeks, instead of 37) I had no phased return, no referral to occ health, no assistant - no more! Life is too short to half k1ll myself at work doing a job I never wanted!! I have a meeting at work with 3 members of SLT and another member of staff to work out who is meant to do what. I had initially said to review that after 5 weeks, in case I wanted the higher grade role - but I don't. I did that role last summer - I don't want that again. The gloves are off! - I've seen what other people have had / expected when they've come back - I went back too early, too many hours and too much work, too soon - a misguided sense of loyalty, that I no longer have.

Aside from that, what else happened.....? DH had a TIA in Feb (and I took no time off work or even worked from home to look after him or anything - what am I like? - skewed work/ life balance) Thankfully no lasting effects - clear MRI etc. Just statins prescribed as a result (which they'd been debating about for his diabetes anyway) Oh - and he's now on insulin for his diabetes - he has a brilliant diabetic nurse now, after someone prescribed him something before the insulin that made him lose almost 1.5 stone in a month (getting him down to 10 stone - as a 5 10 adult male he wasn't exactly fat before - he ended up skin and bone and very weak ) The insulin is better for him.

Almost 3 weeks in Florida in the summer was great - tiring, but good fun. We got back at around 12.30pm on the one day, and I was in work for 6.30am the next day - sometimes working in a school is just no fun!! To be fair, we had a mostly overnight flight back and I got a decent amount of sleep - and actually got back into the swing of 'normal' hours quickly, as I had no choice - so it wasn't too bad - I'd probably do that again, if I needed to (we had no flexibility on holiday dates as DS3's school broke up 2.5 weeks after mine and then I needed to be in work for results)

What else...? - not much, really - same old, same old, I guess. Oh yes - DH walked away from his well paying job (nicely into 6 figure package) for MH reasons - last at work in maybe April...? And he's not signing on at all (wah - that's £85 ish/ week he could get!!) - officially he left work 30/9/23 (was signed off and then gardening leave) Sometimes (often) he is in a very deep black hole, sometimes less so. Not sure what's happening there! We are looking at going for a ADD diagnosis for him (either that, or bi-polar - no joke!) - I'm not a fan of labels, but it could explain an awful lot.

And so another year is almost here - tonight is very low key - curry and board games for all 6 of us (well, 2 don't eat curry) Having found a lump a month ago and skin changes I was very concerned that this Xmas could be very different - but an emergency referral by the GP to the specialist clinic and an exam by a lovely specialist and thorough mammogram has just diagnosed more scar tissue and no actual problems - whoop whoop!! Another reason for not working myself into exhaustion (I have side effects from long term meds of fatigue, joint pain and cognitive processing issues, anyway - so have been using all my energy at work, with nothing left for home life)

Wishing you all a peaceful NYE (unless you want a raucous one!)

killerpeaty

GREENT! It's so nice to hear from you! Sounds like you have had a hell of a time of it. I'm so glad that the lump is nothing suspicious.

I'm sorry your oh has had issues but glad he is having time to try to handle it for lack of better vocabulary on my part.

Sounds like work hasn't been fun, I hope you are looking after yourself and I'm looking forward to seeing how your 2024 is going to be!

greent

So how did 2023 go according to my goals/ hopes/ plans....?

Health (& Wellbeing)

Lose weight – I'm thinking 23lb sounds a good amount (anything more is a bonus) - nope. Ended up the year about 4lb heavier - oops!

Fitness - this has fallen off so much! Just some walking for now to increase stamina levels will do as a start. - nope. Too tired. Plans are afoot for Jan onwards to remedy this

Duff shoulders – I should get end of treatment sign off soon (this month?) - will see if Boopa will pay for physio, as problem had gone away before radiotherapy, so can be linked to the treatment. - mostly ok - slight reduction in mobility, but should be helped by Jan plans

Dodgy big toe nail – after sign off will try aunt's podiatrist - nope (hmm - not doing too well here!!) - has improved, but need to take time to sort it

Other niggling issues will most likely improve if I achieve the weight loss (eg knees and hips) 

Mental Health - very up and down. Trying to figure out if I'm depressed (online assessments would say yes) - have phone appt with GP so will mention it then. -  had low dose anti-d as nerve blocker - hated it, so came off. I'm generally not too bad - more p1**ed off with work than depressed - but I have a plan!!

Wellbeing/ personal grooming – I do pay more attention to make up than pre chemo - still very light. I've overhauled make up in the hols. Have lots of lovely pampering products that I should actually use (maybe I should aim for a pamper session a month?) - went back to less make up, but that's ok. Generally feel this is ok.

 

Wealth

Will continue to monitor (loosely) net wealth on a monthly basis - but 2023 should see a chunk go on holiday(s) and home improvements. NW increased by approx 40k (not including any works pensions) - not bad, as we had a holiday costing over 20k and some work done on house and lost approx 14k of shares when DH left his job 

We will be funding DS2's driving lessons this year (he is 17 in a few days!!) - instructor is annoying - he went 4 months without a lesson! have now also put him on my car insce

I have £350/ mth going into my S&S ISA and sometimes extra ad-hoc payments. I think I will leave it at this whilst plans are being made to spend lots of money! - now £400/ mth

See if I can get DH to claim back all of his expenses......! - mostly done before he left (not all, but most)

Track any money made from selling stuff (not setting a target, not that much left to sell) - didn't do this after Jan - didn't really sell anything, though! 

 

Happiness

We are looking at a Summer holiday in the US - to do the plans we had for 2020 before C0vid scuppered them! (Thankfully we get very cheap (but very good!) worldwide annual travel insurance through DH's work) Maybe something else too - depends on time and money! - achieved! And from cashflow

DS1 failed his Masters on his dissertation - so hopefully he can get that redone this Spring and get a job!! - and then we can have another graduation ceremony   - failed again - so he has a Diploma in FE, instead of a MSc. Ah well. Has had some temporary contracts (next one runs Jan - Mar) - a 'proper' job would be good!

We already have tickets to 2 comedy night outs out in the first half of the year. We meet friends at least every month for a night out (food!) and we have vouchers for 2 afternoon teas. - all done! Lots of eating out! (spent £700 in mid Nov - mid Dec on eating out and fancy takeaways....!!! where's the blue shrieking smiley!!!)

Get back into regular walks (for physical and mental health) and family games sessions - I have been rubbish this past year (I know I had a reason but it doesn't stop the mum-guilt!) Good weather BBQs (always a fave with the kids, even those who don't eat BBQ food!) -  couple of BBQs. Very few walks. SOme games sessions. Could do better on all of these

Less work!!! complete and total fail!!! 

Home (& Garden)

There is a list of jobs for around the home. Bigger ones include:

·        Family room and home office remodelling – as above, quite a big job. Have new person to come and quote. Am hopeful they can do other stuff for us if they do this...  Achieved! Much nicer and is used more often. Lovely solid oak flooring looks fantastic. Warmer, tidier...

·        New outside lighting in front garden, back garden and one side of the house. Garage wiring to be brought up to current spec (currently unsafe) Possible CCTV. - still to do - just need to get back in contact with the electrician and choose the lights! -  no CCTV, but outside lights and 4 sockets all done, along with garage wiring

·        New oak internal doors (possibly new architraves) – we have a LOT of internal doors and most are fire doors. Not  a cheap job. - maybe can be done by the above guy? - all doors replaced. Beautiful (although painful in terms of cost and dealing with the fitters)

·        Would also like at some point (probably not 2023) – railings at either side of front garden, new driveway (extending it slightly), new patio and side paths, retaining wall rebuilt in back garden -  not touched - did get some quotes - put on hold with DH not having a job....

.        Dining room radiators - both not working and heating guy thinks there's a blockage in the pipes somewhere (stupid narrow plastic piping) - need to get holes in walls/ ceiling and follow back pipes and sort it - and make good. (North facing room, so rather cold - currently have halogen heater in there) - still not working! Have plug in oil rad in there, which is effective, but not a long term solution!

·        Smaller jobs – redecorate living room, dining room, touch up kitchen, paint fencing, new hallway and landing lights, repaint our bathroom, repaint our bedroom, new curtain rail for DS3’s room, maybe redo DS2’s room entirely… definitely need to get some of these ticked off in 2023!! - painted about half of the fence, and that's it from this list! Oh - did get new landing and hallway lights, too

    Decluttering!!! Always an ongoing effort here - and there has been some great progress made but still more to be achieved. Most good stuff goes to CS, some bits get sold, some donated to friends/ random (eg via 0li0) and the rest is recycled/ binned. (We actually produce less waste than our neighbours on either side - a retired couple (in their 50s, so not old) and a couple in their 40s with 1 primary aged child. As a family of 6 producing less rubbish (and recycling) than they each do, I think that's pretty good) -  not too bad - generally we are good at this, tbh

Overall

Could do better! Will do better in 2024!

greent

killerpeaty said:

GREENT! It's so nice to hear from you! Sounds like you have had a hell of a time of it. I'm so glad that the lump is nothing suspicious.

I'm sorry your oh has had issues but glad he is having time to try to handle it for lack of better vocabulary on my part.

Sounds like work hasn't been fun, I hope you are looking after yourself and I'm looking forward to seeing how your 2024 is going to be!

Hey kp! (waves) - I've probably made it sound worse than it was (I have a tendency to moan!) x

South_coast

So lovely to hear from you, greent - although sorry it's been a bit of a cr*p year. Definitely time to be enforcing some boundaries with work, they've been taking the p out of you practically since day one. So pleased to hear about the clear result, great that you were able to be seen so quickly. 

Sorry to hear DH is out of work and is reluctant to claim JSA (although I understand the reluctance). Does he need any more years of NI to get the full state pension, as it would definitely be worth him claiming in that case - the credits are way more valuable in the long run than the payments are, and that might be a way to convince him?

Here's to a much better 2024 👍