In the Meantime

BalanceBy50

Sunshine_girl2 said:

Re the walking boots , I would suggest going in store and trying a few pairs on . Would you be better with walking shoes instead of boots . I have Merrell and Salomon shoes for walking . Only really use boots in the Lake District up the fells in the winter . 

@Sunshine_girl2 I have recently swapped to walking boots from shoes and they are really comfy and much easier on my ankles!

HairyHandofDartmoor

I'm sorry you felt low yesterday. It's not surprising as you've had a recent bereavement, don't have a settled home yet, and as Black Cats said looking at photos is a very emotional thing. I still can't bear to sort through my Mum's photos as it brings back how much I miss her. You were probably overtired so needed a rest and time out. I'm glad you've got a good counsellor.

I never buy shoes online as I have to try on endless pairs to find something comfortable. Good luck with your seach. I wear waterproof Clrks trainers for walking and they are very comfortable, in fact I walked up the Cairngorm mountain in them as I that was all I had and I managed well.

another_casualty

Interesting about clarks 👟🥿...
we still just have a store in my area . When I moved into my flat a few years ago, I did amazingly well in the Christmas sales 🎄. I got a pair for £7! Probaly the most comfy footwear ever. Having wide size 12 requirements is no mean feet ( feat ?😼) 
I still have a few pairs which should last a very long time yet . The only annoying thing is the staff are encouraged to direct customers online . This is probably due to takeover some time back ..

As I probabky mentioned before DIA , it's when you are actually in your new home eventually when the weight will be off of your body entirely. If all goes well, it should be this year . I won't linger on your loss , but I don't really know if I've grieved properly after my mum passed away . I remember interrupting my boss who was HR to tell them my sad news. My decision to turn my life around  didn't come about until a few months later , as I was balancing / juggling a lot and couldn't properly focus if that makes sense.
In other words, just keep pushing forward with your plans and don't look back.

I'll leave it there 😼

Brie

Second/third/fourth the vote for trying on in a shop.  I can't wear Clarks, Merrils or (OH's favs) Meindl but normally can find something from Salomon but am best if I get a very small (size 6) men's version to suit my brick shaped feet.  The women's shoes/boots tend to be too narrow in the toes for me.  

I think sometimes we get so focused on sorting things out after someone dies - close down the finances, sort the clothing, clutter etc.  And then when we take a deep breath of relief at having achieved so much we throw a complete wobbly.

And pictures don't help sometimes....my dad painted portraits as a hobby and was really good.  A few months before he died he offered me one he'd done of myself and my mom.  I politely declined (didn't actually like it frankly) and asked instead if I could have a self portrait he'd done - it was good, funny, a bit surreal and so like him.  Managed to pack it safely to bring back to the UK and didn't know where to put it.  I found a place to hang it a when he died about 3 months later but couldn't put it up as I couldn't bare to look at it every day.  Took me about a year before I was ready - from then on I was happy to say good morning to him daily.  When we moved a dozen years later it was one of the first things I hung up in our lounge.

doingitanyway

Thanks @savingholmes, Yes I feel lucky to have found a counsellor who suits me.

Thanks @Blackcats, for sharing your memory about Aunt Bertha, it made me smile. Tears and smiles sums it up nicely...

Thanks @Sunshine_girl2, I've said boots but shoes or low rise boots would be fine. 

Thanks @BalanceBy50, whichever fits best and feels most comfortable so I am open to boots and shoes.

Thanks @HairyHandofDartmoor, you are right my mood isn't surprising. I prefer to be by myself at the minute as everyone wants to cheer me up and I don't want to be cheered...

Thanks @another_casualty, I will take your advice and keep looking forward.

Thanks @Brie I had heard Salom3n is a good brand to try.

doingitanyway

Today I returned the unsuitable boots. I walked through the park. So 2/3 of my yesterday's list. I did not do laundry but a friend will pick me up later and I can take my washing. She has kindly agreed to keep my table and office chair as you suggested @MovingForwards.

I resisted buying a skirt I did not really need. 

I bought some trainer/walking shoes as suggested by @HairyHandofDartmoor, in Cla3ks as they had a sale. Not quite your bargains to be had @another_casualty but 50% off. I don't LOVE them but they will do for two walking and I can think about a pair of walking boots/shoes at my leisure now and reheel the lovely boots I have been wearing non stop!

1 more bag decluttered by me. While I was out, my DSis took down shelves, dismantled a bed and removed another 8 boxes I had packed and left in the hallway. 

I'm glad it is getting done but it feels like a life is being dismantled and being taken away.

Tomorrow a different friend will pick me up to store some items and take my plants.

A better day than yesterday. I hope you all had a good enough day too    

doingitanyway

Last night the table went to a friend's home. All my washing got done.

Today lots of items got stored at my friends plus all my plants. She has helped me a great deal over the last year and accompanies me to viewings and does all the driving. I originally bought the vase for her birthday, so I gave it to her today instead of keeping it. She was delighted.

Today I spent on fares but my friend paid for a fish and chip supper and some wine 

No new houses that are suitable. My eyes are peeled...

I'm having second thoughts about where to go from here. Tomorrow I will pack another large case to leave at the SU. I need to only keep the essentials so I can move here and there with ease. 

Doing all this with a pandemic as a background makes life more difficult. Without it I would be off travelling. 

A productive day.

I hope everyone is ok.

savingholmes

Hugs. I can relate to others sometimes wanting to comfort but in a way that seeks to hurry our grief so that things get back to normal quicker for them as well as us.

Take as much time as you need. On the traveling  where do you fancy going?

MovingForwards

Grief does cause original plans to be questioned, which is good, but huge life changing ideas shouldn't be put into place until things are more settled. 

Take the year at your new place, take as much time elsewhere as needed until you're at ease.

Your friend is a good one.

another_casualty

That's a great friend you have there DIA 😼
A good saying is that you are who your friends are . Something like that .
stay focused on your goals and hopefully all will go well ..