Severe anxiety since purchasing house

Snookie12cat

When I bought my first house I moved into the empty shell and it was so quiet and I just remember thinking, what have I done.
Been here 10 now. It will feel like home eventually.

eidand

I never understood this anxiety thing.

The house is your home regardless of how it looks when you first move in.

I typically don't do anything for a while, just live in it and see where the issues are. There are always issues as no house is perfect.

The trick is seeing the issues and then prioritizing them, some things will be urgent, some will not. That's how you do things, slowly and methodically. I guess you could be overwhelmed if you look at everything and panic but that doesn't really help anything anyway.

So, move in, clean it up properly and just relax for a while. Then you will start noticing things. Don't rush into anything, no point fixing holes and painting if you need to do other things first to sort stuff.

You bought that house for a reason, or several reasons so I am sure those reasons still apply. Think of the house as an empty shell. It won't feel like your home until what's inside the shell has your prints everywhere. That comes in time. You might need to sleep on a mattress for a while, most of us did in our first property. These things will soon be a thing of the past.

When the house is almost empty this is when you can do a lot of things easily so don't rush into buying lots of things for now. Buy the absolute minimum you can for now.

TripleH

Sometimes it's overthinking an issue. Too many what it's rather than stopping and living in the now. Sometimes it's the fear of new to you. Going outside your comfort zone.

Sometimes your mind can stuck like a skipping record almost and it's not as easy to unstick it.

For some by facing up to new can help, for others it can hinder.

(Just my simplified musings).

akorn77

Completely normal. It may take 6-12 months to get used to your new surroundings. Try to add some personal touches to your home. I found inviting friends/family over regularly helped curb anxiety and make it feel more homely etc. It's nothing specific to your current home, it would happen wherever you lived. 

ftbblues

Thanks all again for all these helpful kind posts, and all the fantastic tips too. The MSE community is awesome. You’ve all helped me feel lots better. 

badger09

ftbblues said:

Thanks all again for all these helpful kind posts, and all the fantastic tips too. The MSE community is awesome. You’ve all helped me feel lots better. 

Please come back in a few weeks and tell us how you're getting on

Slinky

I felt very undecided when I bought my first home, which was on my own. Suddenly I've got this house which is full of somebody else's choices of decor (none of them particularly nice), and very little of my own stuff to make it mine. I'd spent all my money on the house, so the furniture I got originally was mainly secondhand cheap stuff, again not what I'd pick through choice.  It took me several days to have the courage to actually move in, eventually sleeping on the mattress on the floor from my old bed at home before a new bed was delivered.

It took a while to get the house feeling like mine, months at least, but every bit of DIY I did removing old decor and putting in what I wanted helped to make it mine.  I'm sure you'll feel much better about things in a few weeks.  The time of year doesn't help either with it being dark when you get home after work. I completed in January so had several weeks of long dark nights at the start.

paddytt

Please don’t worry!  Houses don’t fall down very often - at least not the last time I looked!  Our’s was built in 1540 using bits of wood and horse dung, and it’s still standing 😀

Minor problems highlighted in a survey can be dealt with years later, if at all.  We’ve owned 10 houses, we sold 6 of them and we currently rent 3 out, but in the beginning we didn’t have a clue and worried about everything.  We’ve never had a problem selling, even when issues were raised in the original survey.   

Have you thought about buying a book on Home DIY repair?  I had a Readers Digest one when I first owned a house, and it gave me confidence to do the basics, but more importantly to understand how things work and how houses are constructed.  I am now a confident DIYer, i know my limits but more importantly know I when something is really wrong and what needs prioritising (usually only anything involving water).

Good luck - and don’t panic, Spring will soon be here and you will see your home in a totally different light. 

beb4

ftbblues said:

Hi all, my first post here and I’m feeling really worried so please be gentle. I couldn’t see a mental health section or I’d have posted in there. 

just purchased my first home, the survey threw up a few things but was deemed to be structurally sound and okay for its age. I knew it would need some things doing but accepted it for the price. However I’ve moved in now and the weight of being a first time homeowner, my existing anxiety issues and being in a new environment have taken their toll on me all of a sudden. The house doesn’t feel homely, I suddenly really dislike it and am looking at every single surface and panicking that there’s something hugely wrong with the house. 

I feel scared to be in here and wish so much that I hadn’t bought this place, but now it’s too late. I just wondered if anyone has felt the same and how I can move past this? I feel my anxiety is making me unwell.

my thoughts seem to focus on either the house falling down or if I discover something where it’s unsaleable one day. (Full survey was done and mortgage lender had no issues so maybe I’m being totally unreasonable here) 

Any advice would be gladly received, right now I just dislike the house so much and am so afraid of what I’ve done and if I’ve made a huge mistake.  It’s making me feel so sick. 

Hi! I just found your post from last year as I'm going through the exact same thing. Did it ever get better?

I've been in my 115yr old house five months now after buying alone and had just started to calm down about it all when a house in the road behind me literally collapsed (reason still unknown) last week and its set off my anxiety again like mad. I am obsessively checking every wall and up in the loft constantly checking the roof.

Please tell me it gets better?! 

mi-key

beb4 the chances of your house falling down, or even developing a major problem are probably less than you winning the lottery and being able to buy a mansion instead 

I assume your survey was all ok when you bought? it would have highlighted anything major. The other house could have been in disrepair for the last 100 years and was on its last legs. Worst case you have buildings insurance, so if something bad did happen, then it would  be fixed and paid for.