Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

savingholmes

Hi @Bargainhunter30 @badmemory

I am not going to continue to justify myself to her - but it is helpful to have satisfied myself. I agree with bH30 though - that even if DD's view of the world had merit - I would only be liable for 50% of the contribution. Because of the age gap between the two of them she is also assuming a lot of things. DS paid for some of his uni himself. We didn't contribute fully the recommended amount for his first or last year.  Because while he was at uni we were paying off debt still - her perception is all our £ went on him - when actually most of it went on shifting debt. DD is also missing - as kids tend to - all the things we've done for her that we didn't for him - including the financial and time cost of those things. I'll leave her to take it up with her future counsellor when she's ready Can you tell I'm feeling stronger again?!!

I also know people who funded their kids to do other stuff, gap years etc on the basis they weren't going to uni - and then they later did. I therefore refuse to play this game now and will see what life brings later. We have both prioritised ensuring she can do her apprenticeship at risk to both our jobs due to the time taken out of normal working hours and having to do workarounds - as well as the financial cost of doing so. We also prioritised ensuring the funding was there for her to learn to drive. She's hoping to have £ left over from that.

@Drawingaline Glad your credit is sorted. Hopefully my credit will be there soon. The person I spoke to in India - said it would be there by the 12th... We'll see. 

Most important to do list

1. Order my repeat prescription tomorrow
2. File Company Accounts
3. Close down company bank account
4. Close down company (go sole trader instead)

Gratitude list

• I've caught up on some fantasy reading which is always nice. Nowt like a fight between werewolves and witches to put life in perspective (or not) LOL.
• Today's work went well.
• The 3 or 4 reduced price clementines I ate early were some of the best I've had. The right blend of sharp and sweet.
• I had leftover roast dinner and soup today and finished off the banana loaf. 
• I still have roast dinner left that I can have tomorrow.
• I managed a walk today. It was cold and windy but at least the sky was bright and it was dry.
• I have power and heating and haven't been billed for 4 months. There are worse things!! It has probably helped with cashflow.
• I have an EF and a job with good security and good Ts and Cs and people I like working with.
• I have you guys helping keep me accountable and cheering me on.
• I really like the second electric blanket I bought - it is much softer and more comfortable to use.

Blackcats

Just had a mammoth catch up on your diary ...... 
its difficult with your DD - sometimes they just don't want to understand a viewpoint that disagrees with their viewpoint.  Explain your stance but you don't need to justify yourself - you are the parent and you are building your life in your new situation.  I used to say to mine when they were little "the answer is no" and then when they demanded why "because I am big and you are small and I am right and you are wrong" - used to infuriate them 🙃.  Progressed when they were teenagers to "if I was to agree with you then we'd both be wrong" 🤦‍♀️

If you can find a few cheap days away it might pay dividends by refreshing and re-charging you.  I know it's not MSE advice but it's an investment in yourself.  

 Very productive day - well done. 

Cheery_Daff

Lovely gratitude list there 😊😊😊

MovingForwards

DD is nearly an adult and is in for a huge shock when her bubble shrinks. I said about making it up to DD in the future as my gut feeling was strong and I could feel you'd spend years trying to, but as you say DS didn't get that much help.

It's a wonderful list you've got and it's easy to forget there are good things going on.

Bargainhunter30

Your sounding really strong savings, well done! Swings and roundabouts comes to mind, approaching 40, myself and sister can see that we've always been treated equally. However when younger, we always thought the other got more. It really depended what we each needed at that particular time. 

boxofpaws

I’m disappointed the cat doesn’t feature on the list today.

Would love a link to the leccy blanket …?

try_harder

Yes loving your gratitude list ..I have to say that the things in my life that i worried most about such as the time my husband lost his job with lots of money owing to us and five small children to support turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to us and eventually my husband found a job that he loved so much more and was not stressful in the least ,at the time i was in despair and didnt know which way to turn ,we had no money but then as many other times in our life something very positive came out of the situation

savingholmes

Waves at Sandy as I can see I cross-posted yesterday. Waves at TH, BM, @Blackcats, Cheery, MF, @Bargainhunter30

Blackcats said:

Just had a mammoth catch up on your diary ...... [Thank you]
its difficult with your DD -  Progressed when they were teenagers to "if I was to agree with you then we'd both be wrong" 🤦‍♀️

If you can find a few cheap days away it might pay dividends by refreshing and re-charging you.  I know it's not MSE advice but it's an investment in yourself.  

I like the we'd both be wrong thing... I imagine it would be red flag to a bull though. 

I agree with your non-MSE suggestion. That's why I'm going away this weekend - doing the MSE thing of staying with family. I've saved my eating out £ and my show £ keeps getting refunded so still have £ left in the budget for fun. I am also contemplating a few days away in a cottage somewhere. It was cheaper than many B&Bs!! But failing that driving somewhere and eating out could be an option... I was hoping to see DS this weekend but he's currently ill so may skip that option. His test is negative... 

I've sent you a couple of PMs @boxofpaws - one with cat pictures - one with link! My cat is enjoying a big turquoise cushion I was going to let go of before realised it would be ideal for it.

try_harder said:

Yes loving your gratitude list ..I have to say that the things in my life that i worried most about such as the time my husband lost his job with lots of money owing to us and five small children to support turned out to be the best thing that could have happened to us and eventually my husband found a job that he loved so much more and was not stressful in the least ,at the time i was in despair and didnt know which way to turn ,we had no money but then as many other times in our life something very positive came out of the situation

Stories like this are always reassuring to hear - thank you. 

I have 4 hours of video meetings today!!! 3 of them together... Really need to log on and get going. 

EssexHebridean

SandyShores said:

EssexHebridean said:

 Definitely made me think about using KF for anything more than tyres in the future. 

I wouldn't use them for tyres, since my last experience - they didn't put enough air in the tyres.  Go to somewhere like National Tyres.  I used them to change a set of bulbs the other day and couldn't fault that, and DH uses them for an MOT - its always pretty quick.

I always check the tyre pressures within a few days of getting one changed anyway - I need to do that to reset the pressure warning sensor now but I was taught that it was good practise anyway. Having had those conversations though I wouldn't use them for anything "invasive" or potentially so, now.  As a rule we try to use a local independent for tyres, and always do for servicing - I'd sooner keep the money local than give it to a national chain! 

savingholmes

I have a friend coming round tonight so used my lunch break to clear some stuff into the garage until I have fresh decluttering mojo. Still more to clean and tidy later before she comes.