Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

MovingForwards

The comments would be welcome if they aligned with what you're trying to achieve, and offered suggestions you hadn't thought about.

I'm sure many of us wonder if we're genetically related as our thoughts and what we do don't match. 

It was always joked about me being the milkman's daughter, as I was so different. As you know it's all recently fallen into place for me.

Maybe there's an element of fear with relatives that their lives could have been different or they're seeing holes in what they've done, maybe they're so blind that it's their way or now way.

Have a look in your car manual to see when the brake oil should be changed as it's not a frequent thing unlike engine oil. Also double check when you last had your brakes done, I think it was your car you've had done since I've joined.

Drawingaline

Finally caught up SH! Wow to your decluttering, I feel in awe. I would have so much l SS stuff without hubby, but unfortunately I still like having him around so stuck with all his stuff too 😂

I can see where your dd is coming from. But also see your pov too. It's a tricky one, but she is earning, and doesn't have the outgoings of uni, and the least she can do is give petrol money and something towards the household bills if she is coming home every week. It may be the ASD blinkers on, where she just sees you treating her differently form your ds and can't bend her thinking. I think you are being incredibly patient with her. Allow her to move out if that is what she wants, I imagine it will be a grass is greener thinking right now. 

You sound so much happier and lighter right now. 

savingholmes

Thanks Beanie, @badmemory, MF and @Drawingaline

BM - PTSD? Plus with autism - I'm touch averse (without permission anyway). Think 5th Element!!

Beanie - definitely aisle seats all the way. My counsellor has always commented that the aisle seats fill up first at any venue. Instinctual I think and not just personal history.

DAL - Thanks for taking the time to catch up. It was a very radical way to clear the clutter. My BIL helped Ex move - and nearly choked when I said Ex had always accused ME of hoarding but was blind to his own. He fervently agreed. I am definitely more than happy for DD to move out as soon as she's ready. She plans to take the contents of her room - furniture and all - and I'm happy for her to do so... 

I went to bed for 3.5 hours this afternoon. I really don't do early mornings. It took a while to doze off but I did eventually. I have been listening to the integrity book again - it is definitely going to take a while to a) identify my feelings b) identify my desired response - and then c) align my life so I am more honest with myself and others about what I do or don't want to do - and where d) I break some of the social conditioning. 

Just requested the £70 back for the show tickets. I debated exchanging for another performance but could do with the £. Will have to give my Mum her £35 back though. I've just spent out £57 on a saucepan and inks for my printer. I need to be able to return stuff and I can't currently as one of them is a print at home label. A neighbour also wants to print something. I've been managing since the summer with the odd shake of a cartridge but it's now refusing to cooperate. 

MF on the car - this is the main dealer. I do trust this particular one. However I reckon I probably only need an oil and air check rather than a full service - but didn't know the difference so that isn't what I asked for. Frustrated with myself. They are offering me a service plan again which would be about £18.60 a month for 3 services, 1 mot, and 1 brake fluid change (it needs doing). In theory that would last 6 years... I don't know whether to do it or just go with cheap garages now. The advantage of them - is they actually told me my tyre measurements for example. They told me my brake situation down to the mm - but have suggested it can wait until April where KF said this month. They have said my top priority is the cam belt - and agreed to honour the pre-Jan price I was quoted of £600 if I do it within a month. I will check back at local garages before deciding as it's a trek to get to the that garage. My second priority is the £65 brake fluid change. They say it needs doing every 2 years. They agreed the aircon could wait. I could get out of the service plan if I started and then stopped it - but there would be a £35 admin charge. I only had to pay £26 today - which I was otherwise due to pay in two installments in Feb and March so it brought it forward rather than being extra. It is nice going and knowing most of it is pre-paid. The problem with localised savings pots is they can be raided.  

boxofpaws

Our cars do secretly hate us then. I knew it! 

The softness of your cat though ❤️

MovingForwards

It's a proper independent garage you need, not KF, H or the like.
Tyre measures are written on the outside of your tyres and easy for you to write on your car manual. I'm assuming you do have your little handbook that came with the car. Set time aside to read what needs doing when, that way you can plan over the forthcoming years.

Honestly, if you're unsure about anything to do with your car ask us before approaching the garage. You'll gain confidence when dealing with them.

Cheery_Daff

Just whizzing through to mention Inkredible - we've got our ink from there for years, it's much cheaper than branded (we have a Canon printer), they're fast, never had an issue with them. (I'm not being paid, I just think they're great and they have a cool name 😂😂)

savingholmes

Thanks MF, Cheery and @boxofpaws
Thanks all. I did check online - and have bought a 'copy' rather than the brand for the printer.

I had no idea tyre measures were written on the tyres. 

I have however made a very tasty and tempting banana loaf.  I just wanted a film about retirees in India with Judy D in it. Really enjoyed it...  

MovingForwards

I use my phone camera to zoom in instead of trying to crouch down and read the numbers.

The follow up film made me cry and I do recommend watching it, if it was the first one you saw.

SandyShores

Hi savingholmes, I love your list of things to be grateful for.  It could almost have been written for me

I just wanted to echo MovingForwards re. an independent garage.  I found an independent specialising in VW, Audi etc when my car was about five years old.  They don't have a nice waiting room or coffee but they also don't do the hard sell on things you don't need.  About five years ago when I was thinking about moving to an independent, I got a quote from them first to replace some parts.  They me a choice of two and provided the part codes as well.  I decided to go with the more expensive ones and use the main dealer, but when I got the invoice I could see the part codes on the invoice - they had fitted the cheaper ones but charged for the expensive ones!!  Felt very hoodwinked - I wouldn't have even known about the two prices if it wasn't for the independent - I think they were stunned anyone even knew.  They repaid me the difference but the trust had gone and I've used the independent ever since.

jwil

I'd echo the others, a decent independent garage will tell you exactly what needs doing and when you will need it. If you can get recommendations of them, then that will be better.

I agree about raiding savings pots though, having done exactly that!