Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

lucielle

Hope you get the refund ok and the car goes through without any hitches. 

L

WelshKitty85

Oh my goodness…it’s busy over here! I’ve finally caught up (for now anyway). I’m loving all the decluttering talk and I’m ever so jealous of your craft stash!

Such a shame about shows being cancelled. We well saw Les Mis a few weeks back. It was incredible and highlighted to me how much I’ve missed the theatre. I hope we can get back to some sort of normality and that you’ll be able to enjoy the theatre again soon too.

savingholmes

Thanks Lucielle and WelshKitty

I ended up having to drive 50 miles to get DD today. Ex did the other 50 as someone who normally would drop her off part way wasn't in work... and Ex had a meeting he couldn't get out of. [Insert what you think I really think about that here... always conscious family members may one day find this and read it!!!] In better news - it's been agreed that Ex will do more Monday drop offs so DD will stay at MIL's overnight some weekends to help make that happen. What's less clear is whether Ex will pick her up those dates. DD also has a test date for her driving - but  whether she will be ready or not is still debatable. 2 months away currently. Once she can drive herself my life will get a lot easier. I have a couple of weeks break from the drop offs or pick ups as she's on site the next 2 weeks and the company have organised someone to ferry her round. Very impressed with them!

She is now talking about staying partly living at home longer - and her time doing the 100 mile round trips has been extended into June! She has slowly realised she will need to save more to move out - so is now thinking of staying here until the Autumn. I've said we will need to review £ then and used the energy bills as an example. It didn't go down well. She has said if Ex gets a place she will move in with him or MIL but I'll believe that when I see it. I think she thinks it's a threat...  I am so glad I'm going away next weekend. Regardless of anything else - me and DD will both get a much needed break and opportunity to 'reset'.

I need to declutter my car a bit i.e. bin stuff before taking it to be serviced tomorrow. DD has said she may come with me - as there are some outlet type shopping opportunities near the garage. I have a £9 voucher I could spend but other than ought to be good... It will be nice to go somewhere different. She's going out with Ex tomorrow night... He does seem to be making more effort.

I haven't mentioned decluttering much this week - but I did take a big wheeled bag to work stuffed full of A4 books and returned them to their original cabinet. Win:win. Progress. 

badmemory

Please don't worry too much about what DD is thinking right now.  I know that is easier said than done.  Daylight will eventually dawn.

MovingForwards

DD doesn't appreciate how 'easy' she has it at home, but when she moves it will sink in.

Doing a little decluttering each day soon builds up and you'll notice space returning.

PiggyBankShaker

Just popping by to say I think you're doing amazing and that you appear to have the patience of a saint. Good luck with the car servicing, hope its not expensive. Our car has just asked for a service in the next 30 days and even offered to call the garage so I could book it, I kid you not!

BellaLasagna2018

@savingholmes, my DD is older than yours, probably by 8-10 years, I guess and I can say that she has now fully realised all I did for her when she was younger. She is very appreciative of everything and now very independent, self sufficient and proud (ie she won’t borrow money unless absolutely stuck as she is on mat leave). Your DD will get there, eventually! 

savingholmes

Thanks @badmemory @PiggyBankShaker @BellaLasagna2018 and MF

I needed that after another wider family member weighed in with their lack of understanding!!! They were querying what I spent my £ on that I didn't have spare cash to support DD (who has her own £). [Bang head here]. Why would I want to pay my mortgage off - it's cheap £? Why put extra into a pension? [Do you ever feel like you must have been switched at birth...?]

I watched a T3d talk after on not giving a F to kind of mentally reset. I never thought of myself as a people pleaser (I offend people often) - but I'm starting to realise how often I'm passive and settle for an easy life. Someone is trying to convince me to go with them to a meal with 2 people I have never met and care nothing about (all women) but in a town I don't live and where there's little chance of an on-going friendship. Why would I bother? Even at home I prefer to see people 1:1 and hate groups. You can't have a proper talk with someone if you have an audience - they are less honest - and I don't see the point. I am diagnosed autistic - this should no longer be a shock to people. It still is... 

I spoke to a family member about the need for aisle seats if we were booking any kind of performance. This was a revelation to them - and not ever on their radar... I'm starting to wonder why I even bother!! This isn't a new requirement - although TBF we don't normally socialise outside the home as adults when we meet up - other than perhaps a meal out... It's like they've never registered my MH needs at all. And this is one of the more supportive ones...

Things I am grateful for

• My home, the roof over my head and that I have £ to meet my bills or access to credit if needed
• My car 
• My job, work colleagues
• My counsellor 
• Family members try to show care - even if imperfectly
• Friends
• Softness of my cat
• The fact I have so many hobbies
• You guys
• The fact something as simple as art can make me happy and I can lose myself in the process for hours
• Space for art
• My laptop and phone and broadband
• Heating - the warm and softness of my new electric blanket
• Children who speak to me even if we often mis-communicate

try_harder

Love that list it says it all

lucielle

Keep going SH, you're forging ahead with your new life!
L