Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

BellaLasagna2018

savingholmes said:

Thanks @badmemory @PiggyBankShaker @BellaLasagna2018 and MF

I needed that after another wider family member weighed in with their lack of understanding!!! They were querying what I spent my £ on that I didn't have spare cash to support DD (who has her own £). [Bang head here]. Why would I want to pay my mortgage off - it's cheap £? Why put extra into a pension? [Do you ever feel like you must have been switched at birth...?]

My uncle used to be like that. I’m sure he meant well, but he is the kind of person who always knows best, always wants to convince people that his opinions are the correct ones. He once called me trying to influence my life choices. I was in my twenties, not confident enough to tell him to get lost but confident enough to do what I wanted. I listened, made the right kind of noises and got on with my life the way I wanted. He is in his eighties now and, thankfully, doesn’t meddle any longer or just doesn’t care. 

Don’t explain yourself to your family member. They have no right to tell you what to do. 

Feeling switched at birth? I used to think I was adopted, I felt so different. That feeling was compounded by the fact on her wedding photos my mother does not look pregnant (I was born 7 weeks after). 

savingholmes

Thanks @BellaLasagna2018
Good advice. I go into things not planning to justify myself but end up doing so anyway - pretty much only with family - but they're the most annoying anyway!

I ought to be dressed and have a cleaned out car ready to trot off to my car service in 10 mins... Running late. It gets better right? I need to listen to the book on integrity again - and give myself higher priority

Humdinger1

@savingholmes merciful Gods!  One of many problems in our society (I think) is the FOMO syndrome; a totally spurious method of encouraging people to spend like drunken sailors on things that do nothing for their long-term mental and financial well-being.   You are wisely prioritising according to your own values and you have an excellent plan. Keep ignoring the well-meaning but wrong-headed interventions; it's none of their business anyway.  It also isn't helping your daughter get a grip on the fundamentals.  

Orangetoes

Gaaah that relative would have really wound me up! You are doing a great job. Stay patient! 

WelshKitty85

“Other people’s opinions don’t pay the bills.” My business coach has drilled that into me. It’s written in my journals, on the back of my business plan, stuck on the side of my fridge, and I chant it to myself when certain family members come to visit. You’re doing great. Let their other peoples opinions go over your head.

jwil

I think you are doing amazingly well, and people need to let you do your thing and recognise that everyone has different priorities.  DD is working and still getting a lot of support from you, she doesn't need you to make financial sacrifices for her.  You need to make provisions for your own future.

I'm with you on aisle seats!  I hate being in the centre.

Hope the service goes well.

savingholmes

Thank@Humdinger1 @Orangetoes @WelshKitty85 @jwil

Well I got to my appointment on time. They are short-staffed though and are running an hour late.

The cam belt and water pump if I did it via them has gone up £50 since I enquired in November!!! £650. They say I also need to change brake fluid and air con. £175. I have said will think about it. This is before they have checked anything. Mot advisory said brakes need doing soon....

In better news I have done over £
5000 steps around an outlet mall and only spent £3.55 of real£. I used £10 vouchers for rest. Really impressed with my restraint. This was on watercolor stuff so I can do my online course.

I will need to buy a new saucepan this weekend as the handle fell off.

Currently enjoying 'free' biscuits and coffee at garage. It's a posh seating area....

beanielou

What a lovely list 

beanielou

OH & aisle seats all the way 

badmemory

beanielou said:

OH & aisle seats all the way 

Not tooooo bothered about this but really dislike sitting in a restaurant with my back to the room or being touched without warning.  My exH can testify to this as he once walked up behind me, we were alone at home, & put his hand on my shoulder & looked over the other shoulder to see what I was doing.  The elbow/rib bruises took a week to go.

I now just live with my son which takes a lot of the pressure off as he is awaiting a diagnosis & wouldn't make any move without signalling it.  Anyone tried explaining to a "friend" that just because you jump & stiffen you are not rejecting them?