Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

girlatplay

Oh, another thing, you can freeze food like bolognese, curry, anything in a sauce, in bags flat if you get the bags with a zip seal.  Can get them in £l@nd.  If you freeze them as flat as possible you can stand them up once frozen.  It's like filing in your freezer!  Also, they take less time to defrost.

Chiglepig

We've done our fair share of supporting DD, and driving her about, but I think I would draw the line at the trips you're doing. We're just about to have a conversation about paying 'keep', I don't think it's going to go down well. even though she's incredibly MSE savvy in some ways.

savingholmes

@boxofpaws "That’s annoying about the electric blanket - can you return it? Or is it simply not worth the hassle?"

This is MSE. That was almost like swearing...  Luckily had a feeling I might need it so kept the original packaging - as it stopped working so close to buying it. It's possible that it's automatic cut out for overheating - but it hadn't been on even half the hours it said it could be... I need to print the return label - that will probably wait until Thursday now as I am in the office tomorrow. I have found the thermometer and than can be a label-less return so a little easier.

I worked really late tonight but got quite a few hours to make up from last week!!

GAP I don't like pesto really. I don't like waste either so I made some of it into a passable soup and blitzed it so I didn't have to see the kale:

half a bag of kale
a red pepper & 4 cherry tomatoes (nearly past it!)
a couple of parsnips
some potatoes and peelings from the earlier roasties
a couple of carrots
onion

Passata
turmeric, nutmeg, cayenne pepper, allspice, salt
half a red cabbage 
possibly leek if I had any left I can't remember

The soup number 2 I had for lunch today. There's plenty left...

I had chicken stirfry for tea with a small jacket spud - using a 2017 BB dated oyster sauce - it was fine... 

Now having soup number 1 for a snack. Also had the odd QS and ice cream. An orange, an apple and the last clementine.

Good tip GAP on the freezer stuff - like the idea of it going flat to file it in the freezer. Love it!! I need to freeze some of the bombay potatoes and the chilli as I've not had any of either yet. Will aim to freeze at least a couple of portions of each. Need to label though. Trying to eat healthier and less... My fat % scale was impressed with the increased veg - so let's hope that trend continues.

@Chiglepig enjoy your convo about keep. Never easy. The problem is DS did get away with more as we were 2 income and he'd accrued huge debts he was paying 40% on. She can't get her head around I'm not in the same financial position we were - and because I instigated the divorce - she also feels I should literally pay any penalty from that rather than it impacting her...  

savingholmes

I did eat a huge frog today and got access to my dormant Ltd co stuff on line and took Ex off as a shareholder and director. I also watched a short video on how to file accounts. I'm assuming I have to do it at the tax people and CH? Anyone know...? I will google but thought one of you guys might just know...

flipflopflo

Sorry can’t help with the tax stuff but can I just say well done on eating that great big bullfrog of a frog. 

With regards to children paying, my eldest started university in September ‘20 so we set him up and we’re helping pay for accommodation etc. but told him we couldn’t finance him for long and he’d have to get a job. He came home at Christmas and has never been back. He’s under the doctor for a long standing disability. So we encouraged him to look into PIP etc. which he got. I’ve been saying to my husband for months that we need to ask him for rent as he’s using the utilities, we’re paying food for him, we’re paying council tax, his phone, the rent. We no longer get child benefit or tax credits for him. 

My husband has been of the mind that we couldn’t ask him to pay from benefits, it’s unfair. I was of the mind that my first job I earned £25 a week and my mum took half of that for keep. He started working at 15 bottling up in the pub before going to school and doing a paper round when he got home from school and again his parents took keep from his wages. Our son had money coming in that he was spending on takeaways delivered in the middle of the night even after eating three meals with us, was having Big River deliveries left, right and centre, was spending a lot of money on treats etc. and here were we struggling to make ends meet and in danger of not being able to reach our debt repayment goals and in danger of adding to the debt. At the end of the year we were told my husband’s job was at risk and he’d have to re-apply for it unless enough people took redundancy etc. That seems to have stirred something in him and we sat down and explained the circumstances so he knew how much was going out on bills and how much we had coming in,asked how much my son was getting whether he could pay some keep. My son immediately said yes and he was sorry that he hadn’t thought to do so before. So we had our first payment from him this month. 

God that’s a lot of waffle to not say much. I think I need to try and sleep. I hate insomnia 😞

savingholmes

@flipflopflo
Thanks for sharing your story. Hope your DH either keeps his job or gets a better one soon. DD is paying for most of her own food. I have set a time limit to the current arrangement. I have said will need to keep it under review.

I'd best get a shift on as going in to work and seeing a friend for lunch. Hopefully I can also get my will signed today.

PiggyBankShaker

Hi @savingholmes Just popping in to say the situation with your daughter sounds stressful. As a parent I understand your desire to treat your children equally, but with my MSE hat on - your circumstances have changed! Hugely so. So I have a suggestion that might seem a little 'controversial.' Your son was the one who benefited at the time when you had two incomes etc and now your daughter can't benefit to the same degree. Could your son perhaps give her some money (a regular payment of say half what you gave him?) and that way he is learning the lesson of 'paying things forward' and the pressure is taken off you. I know in some cultures siblings and cousins contribute towards each others education in this way. Or perhap could your ex do more to help? 

savingholmes

Thanks @PiggyBankShaker
It's a novel idea - but unfortunately no. Most of DS's wage goes on city accommodation costs - and he still has past debts, overdrafts and his student loan to pay. Ex is living rent free with MIL - also not a helpful precedent - but doesn't plan to fund his DD other than helping her get home from work on a Friday which is a trek for him too but probably half the Monday one as she's dropped off closer by a work colleague. In theory she is going to ask her Dad if there's a way he can do more Mondays as that's the longest trip - it would potentially mean she has one night a week less at home which she also doesn't like... as she might have to go and stay overnight at MILs. Ex hasn't secured his own place yet and theory is saving for his own place... He had significant equity - so how much he needs to save is debatable... If he didn't fritter his £ on non-essentials... First month he lived rent free and saved £250!! Get off my soapbox. 

The problem is when she applied for the role she expected to move out and live there - so she never featured in either of our original budgets. Only about a week before she started the job - did this other location come into play for more than a couple of months. She should finish there April or May. She hopes to pass her test and get a car around the end of March although there's no guarantee of that... So I'm hoping some of the issue will be self-limiting. Just need to get through the next up to 4 months and then in theory she will move out and rent a room close to her permanent base.

Moving on. Major frog resolved today. Got my will witnessed - so that's now ready to be returned. I will do one final check later and then put it in the post.

I have to nip into work for a meeting first thing tomorrow but then can and will return home and work. Had some nice chats as well as formal meetings today. Caught up with my friend who lives near work which was nice. Boss has confirmed she's been progressing my regrade request. Best of all I forgot that my cleaner was coming so I came home and she'd put my bins back away from out the front, finished boxing up the xmas tree as well as normal cleaning stuff. She is a real star! Made my day.

MovingForwards

You've the patience of a saint with DD, winds me up reading how she doesn't appreciate your circumstances and she comes across quite selfish and spoilt (sorry!).

My worry is long-term, when you're more settled in the future, you'll be trying to make it all up to her, even though she'll possibly have more spare money than you.

Who knows what ex is doing with his money, probably the same as mine, living carefree and not thinking about tomorrow.

Well done for getting your will finished off. If you've an electronic diary set a reminder to check it in 5 years, or if anything major changes.

Fingers crossed the regrade goes through and soon.

savingholmes

Thanks MF. I do appreciate the support - even if I'm not following the advice. Trying to preserve the relationship longer term and it's difficult to know how much is due to ASD.

Went to the balance class again. The leader could be a stand up comedian she had us all laughing at the beginning at some of the goings on in her own life. The meditation at the end was really relaxing. In the class my 'dancer' pose was my best yet - so I can definitely see that I'm improving every week. I'm gobsmacked at my improved flexibility over the last few months. I can't recommend enough doing similar classes if you can.

My friend really liked the (kale) soup - so I left her with 2 portions. She said it was the best soup she'd had. Bless. I went to Mr As and got a load more YS fruit and veg - so have a garlic chicken casserole cooking and a new soup (and used up more kale). When I've finished cooking the soup - I will blend it - and then add some chick peas for extra protein. Most of the veg and casserole mixes were 10 or 20p. I even got pomegranate seeds for about 20p and some 25% off raspberries. I'm just eating a bowl of fruit. I've frozen virtually all the chilli I made the other day - as with the surfeit of available veg I've taken the opportunity to eat more soup and reduce my meat and dairy intake. My fat percentage is dropping and my weight is nudging down so it's working already. Really happy with that - hence fresh motivation. I still haven't eaten any of the bombay potatoes - so plan to have some of that tomorrow - and freeze some. I picked up some organic bio live yoghurt too so intend to add that to the mix

Today I've eaten
Soup number 2
Toffee choc drops, After 8s (at work), 
Bowl of fruit - pomegranate, strawberries, raspberries, apple, clementine
Porridge