Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

ohdearhowdidthathappen

Those calculations must be reassuring SH... I won't be doing them as I wouldn't like the answers  

badmemory

I do think being just you responsible puts extra pressure on you.  You seem to have found a really good way of dealing with that.  I've always thought that an EF needs to cover 6 months if you are solo & 3 months would probably be enough if a duo.  But it does all depend on circumstances.

To hark back to car things (I've been MIA all weekend) I have a very limited trust in the whole market but think independent especially with a good rep locally is the way to go, although look for one that women say are good not men as some garages are not equal opportunities workers.  I have known far too many men involved in this trade.  Years ago I knew  one who worked for a very large second hand car dealer.  The mechanics favourite trick, if a car was going to be sold with say 3 months warranty, replace bits in their own cars that still had that much use with ones that had longer in the car for sale.  And as for main dealerships, well how do you think the workshop managers earn their bonuses?

EssexHebridean

Also going back to car stuff - in recent times I have heard from two different sources that when looking at part-ex value something that really impacts is seeing that KF or Hal's have been used for servicing - they apparently have SUCH a poor reputation in the industry that many garages simply aren't interested in quoting a part-ex value if a car has been routinely handled by them. Definitely made me think about using KF for anything more than tyres in the future. 

Also glad you got reassurance from those questions! 

savingholmes

Thanks Cheery, Chiglepig, HSL, MF and Jwil

Chiglepig said:

Those calculations are comforting, SH - we did something similar this week - our current OP reserve with the mortgage company means if things went catastrophically wrong for some reason, we have four years worth of NOT paying, banked.

On the DD front - so many things I don't have an answer for, but what is your hourly rate at work and how many hours do you spend driving for her? Perhaps she needs to know. The problem with treating it as a time limited issue, is, her time limit is clearly not the same as yours -  no, I still haven't had the talk with my DD either .

And your last list was lovely

4 years!! Absolutely fantastic - well done you. My mortgage doesn't do it as a reserve...

I like your proposal re hourly rate. You are right - I spent at least 5 hours ferrying her to and from work last week. Simple maths at say £25 per hour would mean she was at c£125 for 1 week alone - before any other costs I am incurring for her. That did give me some peace. I've already tried to explain it to her in terms of I've bought holidays - and literally had to use them to compensate for hours I wasn't available to work / too exhausted to work. She still refuses to listen. 

Someone posted earlier - not sure who sorry - that if I wasn't careful - I'd be trying to make up the 'uni shortfall' to her later in life. I think you hit the nail on the head. Doing the calc above illustrates why I shouldn't take that approach so that's really helpful thank you. 

Good luck with your DD conversation. Never easy to ask family members for money. I was brought up paying 10% of Saturday £ and 33% of holiday / full time type money. I've told the kids this so can't see why it's such a big deal other than the ASD making it harder... DS used to literally give me the £ to save as I said pre-uni - he had to pay me a third or save a third. I had to be able to see he had done it too. She's ignoring any of that... so being very selective. I left home before getting a 'real' job.

@MovingForwards - Yes I think you have been very good at routinely saving - and giving every £1 a job. Well done.

@Honeysucklelou2
Good luck with building your EF. Honeysucklelou2 said:

Interesting questions SH! I think, like you, a fear of losing my job and knock on effect of losing my home is probably the biggest. Focusing on continuing  to strive to be debt free and build up an EF are the strategies at the moment alongside prayer. I wouldn’t like to build in more fun things such as walking in other parts of the UK and maximising my time with the DCs that are still at home.

I assume - you meant you would like to build in fun things... 

I think these type of experiences (divorce or job insecurity) and inflation concentrate the mind on having a big security bucket i.e. EF, pension, insurances similar.  

savingholmes

ohdearhowdidthathappen said:

Those calculations must be reassuring SH... I won't be doing them as I wouldn't like the answers  

Ah but that's why you probably need to do them. Fear can be a good teacher as long as you don't let it be your master and let wisdom also have a turn at speaking... It can help you work through what if scenarios so that if the worst ever happens you know you have a decent plan in place instead of scrabbling around. This applies - not just for money - but always keeping up your L1nk3d profile up to date - and having an up-to-date CV ready. The time to grow your network is before you need it ideally!

@badmemory Believe me - I want to get my EF up as high as possible asap. Right now though as MF said I'm focusing on lowering my long term bills by clearing my CC etc. I am hoping to be at 2 months basic EF by the end of 2022. It will be a challenge with current inflation... 

and @EssexHebridean Yes I've picked that up from this forum. I do feel slightly reassured by the garage on Saturday who seemed to indicate I could afford to wait 1-3 months for many of the things on my car to do list... 

Well I've dealt with some frogs today:

1. I've finally got my gas account set up with Sh311 and given a first meter reading. I should get a bill around the 12th. I've said - I won't be paying it until they transfer my credit over. It's not transferred yet!!! Scary!!! 
2. I re-read my signed will, walked to the post box and posted it today. 
3. Done 2 loads of washing and dried it.
4. Done the dishwasher.
5. Swapped the toner cartridge over in the printer. Printed something for a neighbour - she gave me some printer paper. 
6. Printed off a return label for the electric blanket I need to return - and discovered I have to pay return postage. Not happy! Problem is I'm not completely convinced they'll refund as I did spill coffee on it - it wasn't switched on at the time - and the part that stopped working - didn't stop working until 3 days later... I don't want to send good £ after bad and return it only to have them reject the return. I'm also worried how much it will cost!

I got some YS food and £1.20 loyalty vouchers used today. 

I've had a really productive work day today. Feeling better about my job than I was a few weeks ago which is reassuring. 

Bargainhunter30

Maybe you could try writing everything down Savings, so that she can see it in black and white. What you both contributed to son at uni and what you contribute to her. Remember though your share of contributions to what DD expects should only be 'half' because your ex should also be equally contributing. And include everything - council tax contributions that you're having to pay above being single occupancy, electric, water, cleaner, driving hours, car maintenance. I think she is probably too young to fully understand yet, but she will eventually when she goes it alone.

Drawingaline

SH, my credit has come across to sh311 and my first bill is due next week, so hopefully yours will show soon.

badmemory

I don't agree - what SH is contributing should be what she is actually contributing unless some of it is being contributed to by ex.  In which case his share should be shown.  You cannot count a contribution that is not being made.

SandyShores

EssexHebridean said:

 Definitely made me think about using KF for anything more than tyres in the future. 

I wouldn't use them for tyres, since my last experience - they didn't put enough air in the tyres.  Go to somewhere like National Tyres.  I used them to change a set of bulbs the other day and couldn't fault that, and DH uses them for an MOT - its always pretty quick.

badmemory

I think the problem is that like so many multiple stores they can vary a lot based on the local management/supervision.