Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

savingholmes

Thanks MF and EH

EssexHebridean said:

Definitely agree on the EF - with the debt on 0% at the moment in any case there’s no hurry to clear it, and I’m guessing if you needed to bump it on to another 0% card in due case you probably would be able to. 

Yes - the EF helps me sleep. I have lots of access to credit. Sometimes I have even been able to balance transfer on for 6 months or more for free. If I averaged my remaining debt over a year or so it would be a lot less pressure. The divorce cost me £4K - I had hoped it would be closer to £3K. I have to keep reminding myself that most people would have gone into debt for that - and that I have done well to pretty much only come out with my pre-existing CC balance plus at the moment about £400. That includes £150 towards a new mattress - but will rise when I pay the balance of £370.

On top of that £4K for the divorce was the remortgage cost (adding £1K to the mortgage) plus I paid over £1K cash to buy out Ex & do the equity transfer. If I hadn't been at the limit of what I could borrow to meet the LTV I would have put the latter on the mortgage. I also have big car bills coming up. My service is due, I still need to track tyres - and I need to do cam belt and water within the next 1-3 months.

Rested today. Felt completely wiped out. Not surprising with the emotional drain of recent months.

I'm reading @SuperSecretSquirrel 's diary at the moment and he's motivating me to think about my F1R3 numbers. I am doing well with my retirement planning due to defined benefit pensions. I would however like to have some more liquid assets and am finding the size of my new mortgage daunting. I will get over it. I think it's not helped by the fact the mortgage company still hasn't sent my login details and I still haven't had the size of the first payment confirmed. I think it will be about £1150 as part paying for November and early December interest - but would like to know for sure.

I looked on RM tonight and reassured myself that if I needed/wanted to in 5 years' time - I could downsize in my area to a 3 bed detached and boost my equity to £70-100K. And by the time I had paid off 5 year's worth of mortgage - I would have close to £40K extra equity anyway - using today's prices as a guide. If I opted to downsize, I might then only need the equivalent of a £30-70K mortgage which would be a lot easier to clear. 

EssexHebridean said:

On the art, I don’t know much about selling stuff like that but it doesn’t feel like FB would be likely to be quite the right platform for selling it, I must admit. 

Yes - I need to go on 3tsy but don't feel I even have the free cash without using credit to buy packaging at the moment so going to postpone that. I have enough on already anyway - so need to feel a little less overloaded before adding more to my plate.

Trying to repeat to myself as a mantra - Practice self care. You are enough. Stop trying to run before you can walk!!

peb

I know nothing about art (I won't repeat the usual cliche) but in the run up to Christmas is there any local craft fairs that would work?  My reason for suggesting this is that I accidentally ended up at a craft fair in the summer (test match ended early) and one friend bought a Painting and another one jewellery.  The sellers seemed to be doing reasonably well albeit in a tourist area - Haworth. 

And yes, try to hang on to the security blanket of an emergency fund.  I'd be seriously struggling with out my savings atm 

badmemory

This may or may not make you feel better, but just be grateful your ex didn't move on to a woman whose best friend was a solicitor.  They argued about everything, each by individual letter, that had already been agreed before the divorce started.  My divorce, which back then didn't include a share of his extremely good pension, cost me over £5k & that was over 30 years ago.  I know I tend to be paranoid, but I still think the 3 of them were sitting there laughing wondering what they could write that would cost me even more money.

Do you actually need to buy the packaging until you have sold something?  You are on a roll, why not keep going with it?  I've always thought 3tsy was a place for someone who was looking for something different/individual & the run up to Christmas seems like an ideal time to get your toe in the water.

savingholmes

peb said:

I know nothing about art (I won't repeat the usual cliche) but in the run up to Christmas is there any local craft fairs that would work?  My reason for suggesting this is that I accidentally ended up at a craft fair in the summer (test match ended early) and one friend bought a Painting and another one jewellery.  The sellers seemed to be doing reasonably well albeit in a tourist area - Haworth. 

And yes, try to hang on to the security blanket of an emergency fund.  I'd be seriously struggling with out my savings atm 

Thanks @peb - I think I will aim for Mother's Day instead as I'm exhausted currently. That will give me more time to declutter and get the house looking how I want it - and have got over the forthcoming car bills and have a bit more spare cash. I think you're right and I should look into local craft fairs as well as £tsy.

Thanks for the vote on the EF. I'm so used to being a DFW - that it's hard to appropriately value the EF but I'd barely cover 1.5 months if the proverbial hit the fan - although if I sold my car I should get £7-9K and have time to find lodgers if need be.

badmemory said:

This may or may not make you feel better, but just be grateful your ex didn't move on to a woman whose best friend was a solicitor.  They argued about everything, each by individual letter, that had already been agreed before the divorce started.  My divorce, which back then didn't include a share of his extremely good pension, cost me over £5k & that was over 30 years ago.  I know I tend to be paranoid, but I still think the 3 of them were sitting there laughing wondering what they could write that would cost me even more money.

Do you actually need to buy the packaging until you have sold something?  You are on a roll, why not keep going with it?  I've always thought 3tsy was a place for someone who was looking for something different/individual & the run up to Christmas seems like an ideal time to get your toe in the water.

Hi @ba@badmemory

I'm grateful for that. I'm also grateful it was my decision to end things so I felt I had more control. We both agreed early on we'd give the solicitors as little £ as possible. 

I think you asked a valid question re packaging. You're right it would be a nice problem to have... I will try and push through tonight... and put up at least a few items and see whether there's interest. 

I didn't do the decorating yesterday - so want to give that another go tonight. The room is already looking much bigger now it's white rather than dirty magnolia. It does mean that I haven't been able to switch my office set up out of the living room yet. Looking forward to when I do though. I'm hoping by the end of the weekend to have hung my silver wave type curtains up in my study/garden room. They'll look lovely with the crisp white - and then black and white / clear flowers etc of my glass desk. DS wants me to try and keep the glass desk top from his desk in his bedroom - so will see if I can somehow prop it on the desk that I'll be relocating from the living room.

The footy picture is now being picked up tonight. If he comes that's £10 in the kitty. 

Today's other life admin (besides WFH)

1. I need to send some details to the wills people and check their work.
2. I need to change payment details for my dental plan
3. My new BB router has arrived - need to work out how to set it up. Worst case Ex is bringing DD back on BB changeover day so may need to ask for his help.
4. Still waiting for log in details for new mortgage and new energy provider

EssexHebridean

Broadband routers are pretty straightforward SH - I did our last change of router and it all went fine, MrEH was a bit disappointed to not have anything to fiddle with I think! 

It sounds like right now what is needed is a bit of a step back, as you rightly say some self-care being practised, and to properly get used to your new situation. If you have headspace for more selling, and the extra income will soothe more anxieties than the selling creates, then go for it, but if not it's nothing to beat yourself up about - and listing the art that you have, where you have, is good research anyway because as and when you make a return to it you now know something that doesn't work. 

Four_Seasons

Hi SH well done on all you have achieved in such a short time, there is a selling site called "My Local Market" (covers all UK) where you can have a virtual selling shop its advertised on local radio, pretty sure its free so might be worth having a look at.  I am going to try it in the new year. take care, cheering you on x

LadyWithAPlan

Lovely shiny new diary to start your new life with. You seem very organised and I can see that mortgage going in a decade with your focus.
On your art sales, you can start at a certain price for say 10 items and then up the price for the next 10 etc. That is what I have been advised. 
I definitely think etsy, local craft and Xmas markets  are also a great idea. Maybe you can do one on a free Saturday to see what you can sell.

I was also super motivated by @SuperSecretSquirrel Fire so it looks like you are already on your way with that.
Maybe you could apportion your art sales 50 50 to OP and FIRE savings as an extra motivational push!

@badmemory we can only hope that when the solicitor moves on from your ex she does exactly the same thing to him, karma will always out.

savingholmes

EssexHebridean said:

Broadband routers are pretty straightforward SH - I did our last change of router and it all went fine, MrEH was a bit disappointed to not have anything to fiddle with I think! 

It sounds like right now what is needed is a bit of a step back, as you rightly say some self-care being practised, and to properly get used to your new situation. If you have headspace for more selling, and the extra income will soothe more anxieties than the selling creates, then go for it, but if not it's nothing to beat yourself up about - and listing the art that you have, where you have, is good research anyway because as and when you make a return to it you now know something that doesn't work. 

Thanks EH. I will start by taking it out of the box LOL and look at the instructions. 

Four_Seasons said:

Hi SH well done on all you have achieved in such a short time, there is a selling site called "My Local Market" (covers all UK) where you can have a virtual selling shop its advertised on local radio, pretty sure its free so might be worth having a look at.  I am going to try it in the new year. take care, cheering you on x

I'll look into that too. 

Scarily my divorce lawyer sent me some emails today so I don't think I'm on the last bill yet! Ouch!!

savingholmes

LadyWithAPlan said:

Lovely shiny new diary to start your new life with. You seem very organised and I can see that mortgage going in a decade with your focus.
On your art sales, you can start at a certain price for say 10 items and then up the price for the next 10 etc. That is what I have been advised. 
I definitely think etsy, local craft and Xmas markets  are also a great idea. Maybe you can do one on a free Saturday to see what you can sell.

I was also super motivated by @SuperSecretSquirrel Fire so it looks like you are already on your way with that.
Maybe you could apportion your art sales 50 50 to OP and FIRE savings as an extra motivational push!

Welcome to my diary @LadyWithAPlan
Can I take that as a prophecy? I would be so thrilled to be done with the mortgage in 10 years. It would require a major increase in income and/or a pension lump sum to make it happen. 

I like the idea of gradually raising prices... but then I like the idea of my art selling full stop. I think it is saleable - I just have to list it (and more of it) and then increase visibility of it somehow. I have 30+ of 20x20cm paintings that I started with. Less bigger ones - as they go up in size - but belatedly realised that most people would prefer bigger sizes. So my newer and future paintings are all on the larger end. I have enough for a stall.

I have painted glass bottles too. I have sold some of my glass paintings to friends so they sell - it's just a matter of getting the word out. I should try them on FB really - but I'm unsure which box they are in - as we got everything down from the loft and they'd gone up there for a while...

I want to make myself carry on decorating to finish the job - but at the same time I just want to veg... I feel a bit start - stop currently - I get a burst of energy - do a bit and then it seems to evaporate. I have tomorrow off to continue sorting things out. I'll get there - as EH suggested - I need to pace myself. I caught up with a neighbour earlier which was nice. She too is decluttering and dropped off some stationery.

The footy picture got picked up so another £10 in the kitty. I nipped to l1d1 earlier though and spent more than planned. Hopefully it will work out though. £62/300 target in FB sales... I plan to list some furniture too. I found a still plastic wrapped TV table in the garage yesterday when I got the sled out. Hoping that will sell. Need to get it down as again it's up high. I have other furniture that I plan to photograph and list too.

chicker

savingholmes said:

Hi Jwill - I've listed the sled and added some crockery. No hits yet. Need to list more. 

chicker said:

Hello 

I've been trying to read your diary for a week but every time I got interrupted, it seemed to get at least a page longer 😂

It sounds like you've been through a lot this year and have a really positive fresh start now.

I love decluttering but struggle to get around to selling anything. I'll sell a load of stuff then not be able to face it again for ages! 

Good luck with all your plans.

Chicker

Welcome @chicker - I fooled you by coming over with a following from a DFW thread!! But yes - my divorce recently went through and I bought my Ex out the house so had quite a lot going on. At our worst in my married life we were £70K in debt despite being on an interest only mortgage. This was a factor in the divorce. We'd got down to under £2K of debt and he started proposing expensive spending of over £12K. I felt if we stayed together I'd never get ahead, never get in a secure financial situation as we were already on our third or fourth debt spiral having paid stuff off before. I felt like I'd learned my lesson but he still hadn't learned his. The fact he bought a fresh gaming laptop and incurred thousands of pounds of debt weeks before the divorce was finalised vindicated my decision.

The mortgage feels huge to me as I was on interest only before - but at times last year with me managing the £ and on a dual income we paid off over £3K of debt in a month during lockdown - 3 months on the run. This suggests even on a single income I should be fine as I earn more than my Ex. I am struggling right now as I had higher than expected legal costs and a run of large car bills. A family member gave me a gift that helped me have an EF / pay bills as otherwise I would have had to delay the divorce at least a month or more to save up to reduce the risk of fresh long term debt. I didn't want to delay as we were living 'apart' in the same home - awkward!! I am also already due to be 73.5 by the time I paid off the mortgage - I didn't want to add another month to the term. 

My big debate currently is do I just wipe out the debt with my EF or keep my EF. I think peace of mind wise I prefer the EF even if I have to lean on a 0% card for a little while longer to maintain cashflow.
 
I had today off but had to be up super early to take DD 100 mile round trip. I watched a few episodes on pr1m3 and then went to bed for 3 hours! Tonight I'm hoping I can make myself carry on decorating - but I am also trying to teach myself to practice self care - before I reach burnout stage. I'm WFH tomorrow - then have Wednesday off and a counselling appointment. Then I am in work Thursday and then WFH on Friday.

DD is returning home a night early this week - and has lifts to and from work by others for all of December. Can't tell you how pleased I'll be to have a lie in on a Monday!!

Crikey you've been through a lot! I think you are doing a great job planning for the future but need to take each day as it comes. You have a fresh start but it will take a while to adjust to this massive change in your life and you will probably feel a bit wiped out by it for a while. I know it's not the same thing at all but it took me most of this year to get over leaving my job. I knew it was the right and only decision to make but I had been there so long and it just took ages until I could even think about it without feeling a lot of confusing emotions about leaving and 'who' I am now.

You sound like you have lots of plans and you want to tackle them all now!  But it will take time and you will get there. Just remember self-care is also about stopping and doing less sometimes, not trying to add more into your life.