Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

StripeyTightsSpottySocks

Hi savings - good your test was negative and hope DD is better soon . And well done on the progress you are making - in your home and with your art. 

savingholmes

Thanks MF, Stripey, Beanie, happymum37, chicker, Sandy and left

chicker - yes my top worry is getting it - if I already had it - weirdly I think I'd be less worried. As it is, I'm scared to let DD anywhere near.

happy - On the trainer returns - It depends where you got them from - Am**** would be free for me currently - the SportsS*** place wouldn't have been. 

left - I've just cooked some chicken to rescue it before it goes off. I'm going to make some bombay potatoes and that will help deal with some sprouting potatoes. I had to throw a lot from DD's part of the fridge. Some of her stuff was a month out of date.

I've watched a few more decluttering videos and have added a load of mugs to the donate box. Will try and find other stuff - while balancing it a little with what DD's needs might be when she moves out. I may start a box for her too. I've added some cables to the specialist tip box. Baby steps. I need to radically reduce the 'inventory' that I hold - that way it should become permanently easier to keep under control. 

One utube I watched talked about ditching 'guilty clutter' the stuff we don't think we're allowed to get rid of, the things we don't like, the things from toxic people etc. That was an interesting one - and I've instinctively been doing that one. She also said we tend to see something as having more value the longer we kept it - even if we hate it. That also made a lot of sense. She said keeping things hidden in a garage or dark cupboard was also not particularly honouring to relatives who had passed away - and it was better to give them away or sell them so they can be appreciated by someone else... What's your take on that?

badmemory

My take - will someone please make me dispose of some of my mother's stuff that is still hanging round my house since she died 6 years ago.  It probably sounds stupid but getting rid of it makes me feel like I am throwing her away.  It isn't like there is any value as my sister dealt with all that when she had to go in a care home.  I've still got the typed copies of the books my father wrote & he died in 2000.  It is annoying me that I don't seem to be able to do it.

MovingForwards

I can understand getting rid of the toxic reminders, after all you don't need to be reminded.
For inherited items, that would be a very personal choice and depends on what the item(s) are. Small like jewellery, photos etc would be easy to keep and pass down the line, furniture that doesn't go with your plans would probably be better off being rehomed.

savingholmes

Hi @badmemory

Would it help to picture someone who really needs / would appreciate whatever it is and then donate it or list it on FB so they can find it? Surely it would be better somewhere appreciated. Could you keep a small percentage and let the rest go? I also don't want to give that problem to my kids - so trying to let more go now... Some stuff I'll take a photo of and then let go - some things I will just release. 

Hi MF - I agree on jewellery - and some photos. But even then - some needs to be converted to digital and then most of the rest may need letting go. My parents have huge bookcases full of multiple photo albums per year. I have at least 3 boxes just of photos that I need to sort through and decide what to keep - could well be a lot more. I find letting go of things I was given at certain points hard too particularly memorabilia (which can even be receipts or the bags cards came in if bought in say Paris).

The Utuber also referred to abandoned hobby detritus as guilty clutter. That could prove relatively easy to sell - as I have probably at least 20 stamps for card making - so will give that a go once this isolation period is over.. 

She radically suggests not giving greeting cards as this can become guilty clutter too. Not sure how I feel on that one. It's true that I recently let go cards that were 30 or more years old! I tend to keep every card someone writes a special message in. Now I'm trying to take a photo of it and let it go. It's a start.

girlatplay

I have a big problem with holding on to stuff that is not necessary.  I have the guilty clutter of things that I don't like but they are usually from people that I do like and therein lies the problem.  My mum says that when my Grandad passed away and she and my aunt had to go through his things, he had literally THOUSANDS of photos.  Most of them meant nothing to my mum or aunt so they put them out.  I think that getting things like photos into a manageable order (e.g. converted to digital as you say @savingholmes ) is a really good idea as they only matter to you.

@badmemory you are not throwing away your mother by getting rid of her stuff.  She will always be in your heart and you can't get rid of that. Everything else is just, well, stuff.  What would she say to you about it?  Would she want you to keep it all?  I understand to a point as I recently found a letter to me from my granny who passed away 21 years ago.  It's in her handwriting and I just can't put it out.  I have three items that belonged to her, a watch, a ring and glass fruit bowl (which I don't even really like that much but I do use it and I don't have another one - that's the first time I have admitted that out loud and I feel guilty but I'm glad I've said it in a safe space).  When I go my DD will chuck everything, she's not sentimental at all.

savingholmes

My DD is like yours GAP and my DS may move abroad. I therefore need to clear a lot of the stuff as I live rather than storing up a big problem for them to deal with later. I recently let go of a broken wooden music box that had belonged to my grandparents. That was hard. I have still got a wooden box that was made by my grandad which although it's very plan - I treasure. I also have some medals and cuff links. My grandma got me into a specific type of collecting - but maybe it's time to let that go... The collection must be in the boxes I got down from the loft. I still have so much to sort through it's unreal. I struggle with keeping on top of the day-to-day stuff never mind the historic items. I'm determined to get better though.

I love it when I go on holiday and there's hardly anything in the place - but it's enough. I want to get to slightly above that - but definitely make my home calming and peaceful which it still isn't (other than my study). Good job no-one can visit this week - as I'm still working through the lounge (and decluttering the odd item from the kitchen too).

Good luck y'all. I suppose I'd best go to bed. I made an all day breakfast mix instead of bombay potatoes. Tasty - and plenty left for 3 or 4 meals I reckon. Used less than £2 of bacon plus potatoes, mushrooms, onion, a pepper, tin of tomatoes, tin of baked beans, passata, cajun seasoning, sweet chilli sauce, salt and ketchup. Will occasionally add eggs or even salad too it.

mark55man

our decluttering journey sounds the same SH - although ours is just tat mainly and the debris of a family life well lived, but not adequately tidied up from afterwards

Fortune_Smiles

My father-in-law never threw anything away so, when he died, we inherited a lot of things.  The sentimental and historical items we kept and treasure and we had some jewellery redesigned so it could be shared and worn by family members.  But the things we knew would languish in a box in an attic for decades and never see the light of day we donated or sold.  The money we made went towards our moving fund.  I think father-in-law would have been very happy to know that he'd contributed towards our forever home and a happier life.

Fortune x

savingholmes

mark55man said:

our decluttering journey sounds the same SH - although ours is just tat mainly and the debris of a family life well lived, but not adequately tidied up from afterwards

I think a lot of our stuff would also fit that definition. 

Fortune_Smiles said:

  The sentimental and historical items we kept and treasure and we had some jewellery redesigned so it could be shared and worn by family members.  But the things we knew would languish in a box in an attic for decades and never see the light of day we donated or sold.  The money we made went towards our moving fund.  I think father-in-law would have been very happy to know that he'd contributed towards our forever home and a happier life

This sounds a good approach. I'm sure he would have given how beautiful your home and land seems to be.

I'm still doing fine which is a relief - not re-tested yet - but plan to. Still struggling with concentration. Just sorting food and drink for DD as I have a long meeting this afternoon and won't be able to tend to her needs then! I may even put on some of my newly found makeup. I remembered to put moisturiser on my face and eye lids today. Need to get back in the habit of more regular moisturising full stop. I've found a couple of 'spray' moisturisers - so just need to take them upstairs. I was very happy to find a spare foam type shower thing - as I thought I'd run out. 

I've cancelled a membership renewal that otherwise would have cost me £110! Progress!