Prosperous soul embraces creativity & mortgage neutrality

badmemory

Just never use age as the excuse.  I gave up doing a lot of stuff a couple of years ago.  Yes there was a man involved.  I am now having to pay a fortune (well to me anyway) for physio to get back to where I was.  He kept saying why was I wasting my time doing .... so eventually I caved & stopped.  A few months later I realised that some days I had trouble walking across the room.  Talk about a life lesson.

Blackcats

No answers for a postcard but they are good questions and a good process to think through.
with your extra annual leave could you visit different locations for a couple of days and either drive past or actually view houses.  It would gu e you a change of scene and maybe scratch an itch

lucielle

Wow that’s such a thought provoking post SH! Lots to ponder, but Blackcats has come up with a good idea of trying different locations. Could you do a days paddle boarding/kayaking to see if (pardon the pun) it floats your boat?
L

L9XSS

Agree SH it’s good to reflect on what you really desire from your life. It feels like in your post that you are taking time to reflect on what and where you want to be. It’s very easy to get “stuck” in the now. I’m in the flux stage.......unsure of how I want my later years (I’m 55) to pan out.....travel more? Move abroad to sunnier climes? Move home? Etc etc. 

skint_spice

I was on RM looking at houses yesterday, I was daydreaming about moving somewhere more remote as I feel DS will be moving out soon anyway. But reality for me is I would have to pay costs to move which and not know anyone there which might leave me isolated. I have friends here and family, I can always head off for the weekend more once MF.

But on the other hand it’s nice to daydream…

WelshmansDaughter

Perhaps book a taster session in something like kayak or SUP? Just an exploratory thing then if you like it you can build it up until it's a regular part of your life

savingholmes

Thanks El. WD, BM, Skint, BC, lucielle, LX9SS

Thanks for the answers... Glad I'm not alone in that kind of day dreaming. I may treat myself to a week in a cottage somewhere again so I get a break in the routine. I took time off over the summer but mostly to rest... although I did have a number of long weekends.

I read a sample from extreme RE today - it asked why we feel houses with the potential for more unused rooms are more valuable than fewer but constantly used rooms... That was challenging... 

He also asked why we value an expensive holiday in an exotic location versus putting the same £ towards taking a month off and staying closer to home. I've 'bought' two extra weeks of time freedom - and the fact I get 6 weeks as standard plus bank holidays is a major reason why I stay... Plus I can in theory earn flexi... I increasingly value time off rather than expensive time elsewhere - but I still like going to stay in cottages and similar... If I can build up a decent size of EF - then in future I would have the option to take unpaid leave... I feel I don't make enough of my time off currently though - but think that's because I find life exhausting - so need a few days to recover from the week - and then it's time to start work again.

I want to set a target of trying paddleboard or even kayaking next Spring/Summer by which time the temperatures will be warming up and hopefully I will have lost more weight. 

I agree it is important not to keep deferring life - as we never get this time back. We're in danger of constantly rushing onto the next goal instead of appreciating the moment we're in. 

My time off tends to revolve around the question of how can I get to FI quicker so I am less dependent on my job... Then I seem to sabotage that vision by gravitating on RM to houses with similar size mortgages... There are cheaper options though... I keep telling myself not to be in a rush to move - given I'd spent what I do on the mortgage for a year in moving costs and getting the next place closer to what I want (or a lot more)... 

On a more practical note - I chopped back some of the front garden and filled my bin. I've borrowed next door's bin (with their permission) for when the handyman comes tomorrow. I still need to buy weed membrane and get some £ out - but will see if he brings the pond liner first and what he wants for that before getting any £ out. My watch classed that as 29 minutes of vigorous exercise. Makes a change... a lot of what I do doesn't register on it... Oops. 

elantan

Sounds to me like you need to start an adventure fund and get adventuring, @skint_spice and I do it a fair bit, Skinty also meets with other friends as do I, but we both recognised a need to enjoy life in the moment, we have the best laughs and it helps us get through , life shouldnt be suffered, it needs to be savored.

 The problem I have is having enough adventures to keep me sane, working the shifts I do can be hard, Skinty and my rota's often clash so we make sure when we do get to meet up we have fun, we have a hit list of adventures to have. 

I think we are both lucky in that we live in some of the most astounding countryside and both love being outdoors. 

jwil

Interesting thinking.  It's always worth considering how much you use each of the rooms in the house you are currently in.  Do you need the same number of bedrooms/reception rooms?   Could you go for a smaller house and put an art studio/office in a larger garden?  Once you've completed your declutter, will you have a need for a house as large?

My DH always thinks we need a bigger house, but I feel that the house is the right size, we just need less stuff (as we don't touch most of it!) 

leftatthetrafficlights

I think it's important to get to the root of what/why you are feeling how you feel about your home - are you looking to change your environment to better suit your needs, are you looking for a fresh start or are you just trying to remove yourself from old memories that are triggered in your current living space?

It's really important to be happy where you spend most of your time but changing your environment doesn't change your experiences - I used to tell my clients that you can't erase your history by physically moving; the only real positive change you can make is the way you choose to view your experiences- so if it's more a case of reinventing yourself/how you live (which would be entirely understandable after all you have been through in recent times where you currently live) then I'd focus more on the benefits of your home and the massive leaps forward you have made in making it your own in the past year or so than on what transpired before that...you've come such a long way in such a short amount of time it would be a shame to walk away from the daily reminders/evidence of that...