Missy’s Surviving the storm so we can dance in the rain.

missymoo81

Thanks so much @jwil and @Elisheba it’s been a bit of a strange few days. I very rarely get time on my own and it’s just been really weird. I don’t know how to wind down….. I haven’t read any books I’ve read lots on here, I’ve been reading Tillys thread, I got the idea off of @Cheery_Daff thread. It’s all about overpaying her mortgage etc. it’s an amazing read. 

I have done an awful lot of Christmas shopping and birthday present shopping, all budgeted for. I have also sat here with my budgets, I have done a lot of looking at those and fiddling with numbers. I have now budgeted until 7th Jan. Food and spends are still super low, but doable, I just need to be organised and it means I can afford Xmas. 

Have been managing to keep my costs super low here, and still have £27 of my budget left. So I will keep that for spends going forward, as I don’t actually have any other! I do have £6 left on my Costa voucher too. 

Im still keeping to the £150 grocery spends for the 37 days until 7th Dec, (that’s how my months run). And then its £150 for the next 31 days until the 7th jan but that needs to include Xmas and new year food,  but I do have about £10 on my coop card. And we don’t drink much and I just buy a chicken at Christmas rather than turkey and short of a crate of beer and some cheap wine we’re all good. So I’m hoping to be able to stick to it all.

Basically what I’m trying to do, is to survive on money from business and not on second job money, as it takes months to be paid and I can’t rely on it and don’t know when I’ll see it. But that means I can just put that into savings have a buffer then hopefully start to OP the mortgage. Hmmmm wondering if I should move over to the mortgage free forum….. trouble is this has been my home for so long. I kept on here as I had debts until we bought the house then that all sort of changed. Now we just have a colossal mortgage!! 

I’m going to have a think re goals for next year, and reread my goals I set in August, where is the year going?! 

Elisheba

Hey @missymoo81

Glad your hotel stay was fairly cheap even if you couldn't quite get to the winding down stage.

Its just a suggestion, but would you not be better putting aside any spare cash into some sort of instant access savings account until things became more stable for you financially?  I know how good it is to have goals and see things getting paid off quicker, but with your income so up and down and the business being a bit shaky right now, any money you don't spend at this point may be better being somewhere you can access as an emergency cushion.  Maybe even premium bonds?  They take 3 days to cash out so you couldn't just break into them to spend them.  Once things stabilse and you know where the food and spending money for the children is coming from every month might be a better time time to overpay the mortgage?

missymoo81

Thanks @Elisheba so much. You’re right. It’s been said before. I need to build up a buffer first then I’ll see how much I have left over and maybe in July when it’s the last month I can pay I’ll see how much I have to over pay. 

Went shopping yesterday, had a crazy busy day looking after my grandad and working helping OH. So could only go to lidl, I feel I may have fallen at the first hurdle but we shall see how we go. I think I did ok but I picked up some things that were yellow (orange) stickered which weren’t on the list which I hopefully will be able to use for meals. But the bananas were huge so weighed more and cost more than I thought. And milk and yoghurts were more. I guess I can only do what I can do. Really need to sort my diet out, am eating rubbish and didn’t even eat a single piece of fruit or veg yesterday 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️. How can that be and I’ve started to put on weight as not training enough and it’s effecting my mood.

Think I have a handle on money. Currently washing is on. I have a voucher and my nanny gave me £20 so I’m wondering whether to take the children roller skating tonight as a treat as I haven’t had them for over a week. And I do have enough in spends…. Hmmm I’ll see.

Bluegreen143

Why don’t you think of a free treat and keep that £20 tucked away til near the end of the month to make sure you’re ok?

You could make up some hot chocolate and take them to the park or set out tons of Lego for a family building challenge or do some baking with them at home? Or snuggle up to watch a movie together with popcorn and nice drinks?

RelievedSheff

Bluegreen143 said:

Why don’t you think of a free treat and keep that £20 tucked away til near the end of the month to make sure you’re ok?

You could make up some hot chocolate and take them to the park or set out tons of Lego for a family building challenge or do some baking with them at home? Or snuggle up to watch a movie together with popcorn and nice drinks?

I agree. The free treats and outings are the ones they will remember when they get older.

Makingabobor2

Bluegreen143 said:

Why don’t you think of a free treat and keep that £20 tucked away til near the end of the month to make sure you’re ok?

You could make up some hot chocolate and take them to the park or set out tons of Lego for a family building challenge or do some baking with them at home? Or snuggle up to watch a movie together with popcorn and nice drinks?

Great ideas there. When my GK's come round, some of our bet days are popcorn and a movie day, or all sit round the table and play some old fashioned board games with a nice home baked cake. 

missymoo81

Thanks for that everyone, me and the Children went to the library, then came home and drank tea and read our books then I made bolognese. 

Apart from that, have had a rubbish day, arguing with OH no less than 3 times. Over different things but mostly about work but also then money. I hate taking about money and always have. It’s always such a difficult thing to talk about. So feel pretty wrung out today, along with my grandad, both my parents are Ill And have had to go to drs and hospital appointments, none of it particularly good. So feeling Somewhat emotional and temperamental too. Hate feeling like this. 

RelievedSheff

Oh Missy. Sending you big virtual hugs.

Sorry you are having a rough time of it at the minute. 

Elisheba

Oh, I'm sorry things are so horrible right now, Missy.  None of this is your fault and you are doing the best you can.  Regarding arguing with your OH, now that money is tight and the business on shaky ground could his sense of self identity be taking a bit of a hit?  From what I gathered before he liked eating out with you and doing nice things - maybe this was how he got his sense of self worth, and now he can't do that hes really struggling.  That could make him really touchy and defensive when discussing money.  Which unfortunately becomes your problem in terms of how on earth are you supposed to deal with that?  I don't know the answer I'm afraid.  Perhaps weekly or even twice a week meetings, scheduled in for you and OH to talk about finances, with an agenda, so they are routine and not crisis points might help?

missymoo81

Gosh I don’t know what I’d do without this wonderful community. You really do help me when I’m struggling. Thanks @Elisheba I think we do need to have money chats more often.

Everything seems a little brighter this morning. I need to look at costings again on the diesel guzzling work truck and see if it’s worth getting rid of and trying to get a cheap ev, it’s all
attached to the business so not as simple as it sounds and not because we have money to throw around. I’ve spoken about this in the past but the price of diesel is so high and at barely 25mpg it’s becoming a struggle to use. Research and sums needed.