A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

badmemory

They never read notes that someone else has written.  My mother was days away from dying of dementia & we still had doctors asking why she hadn't been diagnosed.  My preferred answer would have been because you are all so ****** useless.  I restricted myself to don't ask me you are the doctors.  So they sent her back to the care home & when the time came the district nurse didn't turn up.

warby68

My mum did one of those style discharges - she was back in hospital the next day. I fought it, hard, but it was like a brick wall. They promised me a downstairs hospital bed within 3 hrs. It came after 9hrs at 11pm at night when there were no carers available to come and help. Mum was just slumped in a chair. I wheeled her on a commode and literally threw her onto the bed. In a nutshell, they decided on this 'Home First' package 3 days before she came home but then stopped observing her backwards slide no matter how many times I pointed it out. In fairness this was still in Covid affected times and they were doing some bonkers things. I think it made some of them detach their brains and normal compassion. She didn't come home again for over 6 months. The 'Home First' package is no more, renamed and rejigged. I found that's what they do, launch a new system, it doesn't work, then pretend it never happened. Sorry for my cynicism but it was a nightmare 18 months, largely caused by hospital staff ignoring what was in front of their eyes. I fully understand the medically fit versus functionally fit and she simply wasn't medically fit. When she was and went to a rehab place, she did beautifully.

Not writing to scare you, but just in case any awareness or understanding of what might be involved helps. 

KxMx

Yes my Mum had one of those not medically fit discharges, care arranged, very short time at home then bounce back readmission (a further month) last year! 

Spendless

Nan was transferred today to a residential assessment centre. She may be there for 1- 2 weeks or for up to 6 weeks whilst her capabilities are assessed. Now if it is found that she can indeed cook a roast dinner and run the hoover round and whatever else she's had hospital staff 'believe' then parents know she's just been being a bit of a Princess and giving them the run around. In the event she's found with limitations on what she can do then plans for her future care will need to be made.  

Dad had a ECG today 1st reading was high, 2nd was normal, He needs to return for another one in a month's time.

Other than that the most upset so far today has been from the dog who wasn't impressed that his 'Grandparents' picked him up today after I went to work and returned him 2 hours later due to Drs appt. He's used to spending hours there being pampered with walks, playing with and Mum's home made food. I can cope with a sulking dog -lol.

in_need_of_direction

Glad to hear that your nan has been placed somewhere suitable.

KxMx

I'm really glad you've had a good outcome for this first step. 

My Mum has been known to say "Yes I can do X and Y", there I am out of her sight shaking my head at the person doing assessment.

Sometimes people construct a reality that is very real to that individual, whereas everyone else sees something very different. 

Humdinger1

This is good news @Spendless! Sense has prevailed!! Please keep us posted and look after you in all this.  Love Humdinger xx 

Spendless

Thanks for the replies. Sorry that others also have a difficult time getting nursing staff to see what you're saying. My Nan is 100 you'd think that would be enough for someone to ask family 'how is she managing?'. If it hadn't been for the staff member recognising my parents on Wed as they were leaving the ward and asking them what had brought them there I don't think we'd have got this outcome. Thankfully someone finally joined up the dots. I counted last night this final convo that got us somewhere was the 6th that had been had over an 11 day stay so flagging a concern on average every other day.

As it's  Friday, have moved £5 into extra rent which is now at £35. I then put £3 into lost which also makes that total £35 and £2 into stolen which fetches that to £34. Didn't put into jabberwocky as that was topped up recently. 

Today we have a meeting with our FA. Got a few questions to ask about our next few years plans. Other than that hoping for a peaceful day.

Newstartforme

Hi Spendless , so glad that things seem to be improving for you all,  the more settled nan is the more relaxed your dad will be I am sure . Hope little dog not too put out by lack of spoiling x

Spendless

I've been mentioning that our house and buildings insurance is one of the largest bills we have now we've addresed others (water, sky, utilities). Yesterday we got our renewal through. I'd been putting down the large bill due to having not changed companies. Yesterday's quote was around half price from last year! Looking at the finer details I noticed that they'd put it's 6 years since we had a buildings claim and I'm wondering if it's that that has been putting the premium up. Going elsewhere we'd save another £60 and we'd pay in full to avoid additional charges. 

Nan is ok but slightly confused as to what's happening next. Parents queried what she'd said with assessment centre staff who confirmed that wasn't correct, far too early for any decisions to have been made. At least someone official is now aware that if Nan says x it doesn't necessarily mean its true. Unfortunatley her clothes seem to have gone missing between hospital and assessment centre. Parents have been back to hospital and staff helped them check the ward she was in but nothing. Mum's worried they've been thrown out. Also Mum was asked to bring in incontinence pads, but Nan wasn't incontinent prior to hospital stay so unsure if this is a sudden onset thing. This is also being monitored and assessed by staff.  

Spoke to FA about our plans for next few years - everything ok.

Mr S got an offer of an upgrade on a CC he has (cleared in full every month). Will give us a gift voucher for over £100 as long as we meet a certain spending criteria within the next 3 months. We have some big ticket items (flights) coming up that we will be buying anyway and it's also possible that we can change DD's rent abroad to this card for next month - which will cover the criteira and then he gets certain perks too, which will be handy for overseas travel next year. The fee is free for a year we just have to cancel before this time next year to avoid paying which we will do.  He has gone for it after checking with me it was ok first.    

Today after work shift I am meeting eldest for drinks and snacks. Looking forward to it. Mr S and relative will be spending the time rolling our old bedroom carpet up and getting everything ready for painter and decorator coming early next week.

So still pending is hearing from Insurance company with settlement on my car and receiving deposit back from DD's original rental. I said to FA yesterday that I think it's going to take till early next year that we can get a full overview of finances due to so many balls in the air currently. I feel as though we're now heading in the right direction whereas last week was a case of what problem is today going to bring.

Have a lovely weekend.everyone.