A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

liselle

The US series Everybody Loves Raymond featured an episode when the whole family were having a studio photograph taken.

Raymond’s mother objected to her other son’s girlfriend being in the photo.At the time she was called mean and small-minded but I understand now.

Spendless

Yes many highlights and low ebbs during the course of this diary, which I thought would just be about my journey to paying off credit card debt. I lost both my Nans along the way, but both lived to a ripe old age and were 'ready to go'. The first was weeks off being 99 and had been in a care home with dementia for 8 years.

My other Nan got her wish of celebrating her 100th at home with her (large extended) family around her and narrowly dodged going into care.

Tex managed to infuriate me many times but it was the situation with my eldest that was saddening however he's doing well, has his own place and adores Grandcat.

As for Tex well theres a certain irony that he was considered the more talented of the 2, with British champion titles to his name but dropped out of his drama school (having secured a place before DD did) in order to stage his flop of a musical about DD.

Thank you for your kind words @Yankee24

I have sent you a PM.

Spendless

Tuesday and DD's rent paid. She has taken her final class today. There was an agent came in and talked them through what they need to do. DD is one of the few from her class leaving with one - so thankful she started thinking about this a year ago, her work paid off.

Shes done some shifts at the event venue and served the wife of a well known British TV actor after she got placed in the VIP section that first she'd been told by a workmate would be 'boring' and I said 'Noooo, think of the people you'll meet'

Meanwhile in the US we attended a presentation evening where DH picked up a 'lifetime legacy' award for the work he contributed he has done for this organisation which included introducing an awards ceremony some years ago to recognise peoples acheivements. He got a standing ovation from our table as he collected his award (DD will be jealous her Dad beat her to it - hahaha). Its like an extra large chunky square engraved paperweight. I mean we flew economy, I'll be leaving half my stuff behind to take it back - lol.

I wore former wedding dress, no one guessed. It just looked like a 'pretty dress' but half way thru I felt the zip go. Managed a temp repair but ultimately it will either need to go back to the dressmakers or will have to finally 'retire'. I dont think dressmakers are at fault, I think when my Nan turned the train into a Christening robe for DD something happened then (due to some stitching I can see) and it wasnt picked up on at recent alteration.

We also went for another meal with someone who is doing a speaking event here who is also from the UK, due to DH's introduction. We had our meal and drinks fully paid for as a thank you. Later DH told me the guy is wealthy due to selling a business at the height of that sectors success. I said to DH in my alternative universe have we not only never spent so much but your bright ideas have made us rich rather than other people - lol. Im just joking though, I can see how well regarded DH is.

We have another corporate dinner invite tonight, a party tomorrow and a meal at another group member's house on Friday with chefs and caterers. Thursday we might have to pay for our own food.

Off to lunch now and I think the pool beckons this afternoon.

Catscoffeecake

Its lovely to hear his hard work and achievements are being recognised, you must be very proud.

enjoy your afternoon by the pool

Spendless

Friday, Ive woke early again still not adjusted to the time zone. Moved my Friday money over, my fiver savings which are 3 figures now and £7 to xtra rent which makes it £183.33. I only have next week to add to this pot. The couple of £s short I will still be should be made up by interest on the account.

Last night we ate at a (expensive!) Steak house coutersey of another attendee. Mr S had been appointed their ambassador (bit like a buddy system at school I thought) and we were their guests. They picked up the tab as a thank you for the connections DH could bring them, but it sounded when they were talking they also had fab ones of their own that can be utilised. DH said later he'd been nervous about accepting the invite wondering if he'd find the dinner a bit strained. Told him I knew that wouldn't be the case cos because I am unable to talk 'shop' (the industry stuff goes over my head!) I get all his contacts into conversation about other things and can tell quite early on if we will 'click'.

From a financial pov, it means we havent paid for a single evening meal cos weve been guests of someone on the 3 evenings there's been nothing organisation connected. We havent spent a huge amount on food/drink, did go to Walmart yesterday and spend £200 on items to bring home though - lol.

Today is our last full day. Plans this morning include packing and getting breakfast out - think were going to skip the provided one, partly due to the timing (7-8am) and partly cos Ive found myself longing for toast and marmalade and weve found somewhere that sells it (but doesnt open till 11am!). This afternoon DH attends his last meeting, Im hoping for another trip to the pool and tonight we have our final meal at the house of someone who is also a past chair and this is his final time with the organisation - by coincidence this conference is taking place in his home town, so chefs and caterers brought in. Looking forward to it.

Tomorrow we have to skip a distillery tour in favour of making it to the airport. Its not a spirit we drink anyway so no real hardship missing out.

Have a good weekend everyone - checking out from the States.

liselle

Oh what a great time you’ve had, sounds wonderful! Made me nostalgic for visiting my sister in the U.S.Such hospitality and interest in all things British. She’s sadly no longer with us.

Spendless

And 'it's a wrap'. We are home with our American adventure over. I've even worked and been grocery shopping today (had a £100 budget - spent £142!).

We've had a fab time as always, gorgeous meals (we were guests for every single evening meal whilst there), fab cocktails, free bars, entertainment and most of all the people. Sad that Im unlikely to see them all in one place again but its been a blast, that I've really enjoyed. Mr S will remain in a supporting role online until the end of 2026. Its possible he may even fit another mini trip in but I'd be unable to accompany him as I dont have enough AL left.

Tomorrow I get paid though its a low one cos I had 3 weeks just at my contracted hours. Holiday year starts beg of April so no one was off. Will be enough to pay DD's rent. She has come home for a few days but will return at the weekend as she has some shifts at the entertainment venue.

Today I discovered that the near work car park doesnt charge on bank hols. I also took my own milk in making it the 4th bottle in the small fridge, 1 for everyone of us that has hot drinks - just nuts to do it this way.

Spendless

Tuesday, I've been paid and have moved 3 weeks worth of DD's rent over, one of which has been paid today. Feel like I'm living in a Sonny and Cher song 'Our love won't pay the rent. Before it's earned our money's all been spent' . However we have plenty of food in,petrol in the car, bills have been paid, no mortgage, overdrafts or credit card debt (other than what we spend and is paid off in full monthly), savings, emergency money, sinking funds we're building on. I should appreciate how far we've come not how much further we still have to go.

As I didn't do many hours last month, funds are limited (at least till Mr S gets paid) but I have said I will treat DD to brunch today. We had a fav cafe that was near the drama group she attended as she grew up. Then the pandemic came and they changed it to take out only and it just wasn't the same. It's now under new ownership and back open as a cafe so want to return whilst she's home. Today makes most sense to go as I'm not working till the afternoon, whereas tomorrow's shifts don't fit and Thursday I'm off so want to devote the whole day to other stuff.

The day after we left parents had a letter re house sale of Nan's place. Dad's immediate reaction was to panic cos myself and Mr S weren't there to sort it out, but IMO this was a good thing cos I'd been trying to get them to go the EA and see where they're at (Dad, they'll contact me if they want me - Mum yeah I've asked him to go but can't persuade him - arrrrgghhhh!). Now they were faced with no choice cos we wouldn't be returning for over a week and had a letter they didn't really understand. EA ran trhu it with them (just sounded like standard stuff) even produced an envelope and wrote the address on it for them and just left them to go to the post office to post with a recommendation to send recorded delivery (which they did). House sale should be through in the next 4 - 8 weeks

Daisy duck abandoned her nest whilst we were away. I think she became too exposed after the long grass was cut. Eggs have gone too so guessing wildlife (fox?) has had them. Poor thing. I always wonder if animals accept situations like this as 'no big deal, one of them things, start again' or grieve in the same way humans would?. Am I more upset about it than Daisy is?

Better start some chores whilst it's still cool enough to do so. Have a great day. Enjoy the sunshine if you can.

Spendless

I can see DH's wages pending for tomorrow - thank goodness. Not only have we spent everything in our accounts so nothing for savings. Ive had to use some of the tax refund money Mr S got too.

Hadnt anticipated how expensive this week would be. Think we got lulled into a false sense of security last week as most of our costs were covered. So on the last day travelling back we werent careful cos we had money left over. I misjudged how much we'd need for this week, starting with the expensive grocery shop! With hindsight. I shouldnt have ran everything down to almost zero. I wont do that again, in future Ill have plenty of freezer, cupboard and longer life fridge stuff in to return to, so we only need a minimal food shop. Lesson learned there.

DD has been home, so theres been more socialising than anticipated that has come at a cost - since when did swimming cost £10 each?! That was a cheap activity when kids were little. You dont think as much about cheap things to do in same way when kids are grown, but I need to look for ideas. As I've worked every day except today DD has been at a loose end till Ive got home with cabin fever and the things she would do to entertain herself like take herself or the dog on a long walk wasnt possible due to the heat. She also hadnt been paid plus she now has to save for when she starts paying her own rent so hadnt much to contribute herself

On the plus side Ive had a lot more shifts this week (someone on AL) though thats been a double edged sword as Ive struggled with sleeping, hot weather and jet leg not a great combination! Next week Im back to my contracted hours. Would have prefered the other way round! Bank hol parking was free. So was returning to the same car park yesterday after my shift when me and DD went back to the city centre to get some items. That's because the car park is close to and mainly used by college staff and students and after an open day event yesterday the ticket machine got locked up (I took a pic as evidence and just used the 24 hour ticket Id purchased earlier that day). It's quicker to use the car and parking cheaper than my train ticket but unless I have a first thing shift I cant risk not being able to find a space. However Ive realised this week with it being half term that they'll be more spaces in the summer hols too which means during July and August I can take the car regardless of shift times and have a quicker and slightly cheaper (excluding petrol)commute.

Spendless

Friday and Ive paid a fiver into savings and for the last time Ive paid £7 into extra rent, making a total of £190.33. I need just under £1 to top this up to the weekly rent but I believe this will be acheived by interest being paid to the account on 1st June. Let's see. I'm glad I made this decision at the beg of May it seems to make sense to have everything tied up as DD finishes her degree and embarks into working life. She returns back this morning. DH is dropping us both off as I have a work shift to do, afterwards Im meeting a friend for late lunch.

DD is returning to do a self tape for an audition, pick up a work shift tomorrow, potentially see friends but also has to resubmit some work as its not gone through correctly to tutor. This is bothering me more than DD, because its fetching back memories of when similar happened to DS in his first year of further education and he almost didnt make it onto the 2nd year. We pulled out all the stops for him to resubmit the work so he could.

Yesterday which was my only day off we went swimming, called to see my parents taking dog with us. Went to the larger shopping mall in another city where DD got a dress for her last summer ball at drama school. Caught the train there and initially put in the wrong railcard cos sun was shining on the screen put in 2 together (which I dont have) instead of DD's 16-25! Had to buy more tickets in case we were inspected (we weren't!) Waste of £10!

Whilst we were there DD heard of a possible new rental with friends to start when her current tenancy runs out. It would take her to a different part of London and make our journey to see her slightly shorter.

Later we were picked up by DH in the car, driven home and called to see DS and Grandcat. He is a different character to the cat who spent the first few days at DS curled up hiding himself away in corners. He must have been so stressed poor thing about his several homes in a short space of time. It is clear to see that DS adores his cat.

On the subject of poor animals, there is no sign of Daisy Duck or her nest except I saw 1 broken egg shell when DH parked his car at DS yesterday.

DH has been paid today. I dont think I have the mental energy or time to move money over to different pots yet, so contemplating leaving it till Sunday.

Have a good weekend everyone.